Ex says I'm not entitled to child maintenance

[daisy7895]

I'm a single mum to a 7 month old baby who I share with my very unreasonable ex. He has made my life hell since she's was born, and this is just one of the latest dramas.

I own my own home, however, due to the cost of living crisis, my rubbish maternity pay, and receiving no maintenance from my ex, my lovely parents offered to allow me and DD to temporarily move back in to their house for the duration of my maternity leave. This has made things so much easier for me as, although I'm still paying my mortgage and some other bills, I've been able to save money as I'm not paying heating/shopping bills (just want to add that I contribute to the household in other ways such as cooking, cleaning etc.)

Anyway, ex has used this situation to say that he doesn't need to pay maintenance as I'm currently living with my parents and therefore "don't need" any money. He actually said he doesn't need to pay anything! Every now and again, he will ask what she needs and will turn up with nappies and wipes and says that this is his maintenance. I've told him that this is not how maintenance works and have told him I will be putting a CMS claim in. Now I'm receiving abuse from his family calling me evil and saying I'm money grabbing.

Am I missing something here? He's making me feel like I'm unreasonable for asking him to pay for his own child!

🙂though it isn’t really. My girls father never paid a penny. Ever.

What an arse. You grab that money and don't give up.

Feckless tax is a great idea.

If any government could fix child maintenance for non/low payers the whole economy would benefit.

My child’s dad and I have been in a relationship and it’s been up and down and that man has gave me £40 a week every week for the last 10 months of our 14 month olds life and we live together most the time but still he does it rather than buying things himself although he will still buy her things. He can sometimes be an arse and I’ve already made the decision if things were bad and he didn’t pay without an explanation or a day when he will be I’d be putting a claim in that day or the following morning and you should do the same. Stand up to that man and do the right thing by your child.

legally they don’t have to see them or be part of their lives but they do have a duty to provide.

It is called child maintenance for a reason It doesn’t matter where the child lives he needs to pay towards the upkeep of his child.

Good luck with child maintenance. My oldests dad still works the same good job he did 13 years ago when I left due to abuse and safety of child. Anyway he fought and fought every amount they said it started at £25 a week till eventually I got a letter offering me 75p a week. How he dodged them and convinced them he got no wage i will never know i have no clue. Anyway 12 years on not seen a penny or an item and gave up fighting for it then. Worked hard myself and brought son up myself.

I think what usually follows is ex says they will take you to court for 50/50 access or more.

It's a long process and but their aim seems to be fueled by money and you would be wise to research solicitors that act in the best interest of your baby.

Many who win the 50/50 split then just hand their baby over to the baby's grandparents (if it's not supervised access) and don't have any interest in spending time with their baby.

Ha who made him judge and jury?

they can take money directly from the NRP bank account so don’t worry about him not paying. He has to
if he refuses to put money in this account they can take legal action ( currently going through this myself )

Are you still paying council tax and are you still on the electoral register at your own home?
If so, you are still officially resident there and surely it's none of his business how often you visit your parents or for how long.

Yes still paying tax and on electoral roll

Are you still paying council tax and are you still on the electoral register at your own home?
If so, you are still officially resident there and surely it's none of his business how often you visit your parents or for how long.

This is irrelevant. She can do what she wants - live in a 5 star hotel. He still needs to pay towards his child

Where you live is immaterial. He needs to pay support for his child. I'm glad you're going ahead with the appropriate claim. Some men think that a pack of nappies is support, it's not.

Hope you get it sorted. My ex has never paid a penny, bought them a pair of shoes or a scrap of clothing. He just about manages to feed them when he has them on his weekends. He doesn't have a job or claim benefits. He lives off of women. CMS said they can't do anything. I gave up.

Put in the claim. Even if you were both millionaires he would still need to pay his share for the children. If he’s texted you this you’ve got lovely evidence for when he’s a complete shit about custody later on. Well done for doing a great job and finding support with your parents, you sound like a great mum.

Really sorry you’re going through this. Just adding my voice to say of course you’re not unreasonable!!

Block his family, their opinion is irrelevant and you don’t need to hear it. Speak to him only via text or email and only about any issues like contact for your baby. Continue with the CMS application and ignore any bollocks about you being money grabbing - clearly the apple didn’t fall far from the tree if his whole family are like this too. Your child is entitled to financial input from both parents - it’s for her so she can have her needs met.

You might not be entitled to it, but your child certainly is and it's payable to you.
You could be living the dream on a Caribbean beach with a new partner and your ex would still have to pay.
Contact the CMS and block heel s family.

YANBU! He’s a cunt, pure and simple!

You are not being unreasonable, and you are I your right to put a claim with Cm.

Society would benefit a lot more if women didn't choose men like this to sire their offspring. I doubt this person had a radical personality change in the 16 months since the child was conceived.

If all new humans were born into stable, time-tested relationships between two solvent, working adults who both enthusiastically planned, saved and prepared for parenthood, our species would be so, so much better off.

Ah yes, let’s blame women for men having unprotected sex, willingly contributing to the creation of a child, and then fucking off. How could we ever expect them to act like responsible adults huh? That’s all on the woman.

Our species would be a lot better off if men were held accountable.

He is a monumental twat and a shit dad. You're having to live with your parents because he's not supporting his child as he should be.

You might not need any money but your child does. Put that CMS claim in now!

And block all his twat relatives too.

it would help if women choose better and only have children if they can support them on their own if something happens.

@taxpayer1 right, so only very rich women should have children. Great idea, will really reduce overpopulation. Let's do it.

YANBU X

Not going to lie, It would help to reduce child poverty. If you cannot support them, don't have them. Simple.