Asking him to get rid of his dog after 7 years?

[Uktousa2022]

I am moving to the USA to be with my fiance. He has a pitbull/lab who has previously bit a little yorkie, the yorkie did start the fight, however unfortunately the yorkie died because the pitbull punctured a lung after 1 bite.

I have 2 cavalier dogs. I have extreme anxiety about taking my 2 dogs over there to live with this dog that has previously bit before. My fiancé says it was a total one off, he has since been neutered and is older now, and it was the other dogs fault. I have met the dog and it does pretty much sleep all day.

I just don't know if I can live my life anxious always watching my dogs around this dog - It is a small house - I really don't know how to get over this as we are both refusing to rehome our dogs. He does have family nearby that he could probably give him too, I would be going out to the US with just my dogs.

If the dog is powerful enough to bite through another dog, it will kill a child.
There are thousands of cases where it has happened.
A bully dog crated all day is a disaster waiting to happen and if you have a family, there will be far more precious things at risk than your dogs.

Honestly this would be a deal breaker for me.

dogs like yours aren’t on the list of banned dogs in this country for a reason.

dogs like yours are insurable for a reason.

dogs like us aren’t insurable and banned here. Because when they turn they can and do kill. He knows this. He’s on notice.

For me it would be the dogs goes or I don’t move. Whether my dogs were coming or not.

If it were me I would introduce the dogs to each other under the direction of a good behaviourist. Dogs with a history of aggression can be trained to alter their behaviour. Having said that I would probably keep them separate at night when you cannot supervise.

Yeah I understand why people are trying to help and it's difficult to separate the question away from the whole picture.

I was trying to make OP feel less judged and was trying to get her to concentrate on the dog's, hoping she would come to her own conclusion.

But I'm fully willing to admit my comment relating to this is off the mark.

So this thread is really not about a dog, but a man. 😂

Lol. I have no idea anymore. Maybe OP will let us know.

Oh dear.

Thats all I’ve got, sorry.

I was with you being reasonable until the September bit. Pause the dog situ for a second and let’s unpack the moving and giving up EVERYTHING for someone you’ve known 6 months.

Oh FFS.

You have not answered anybody about whether you have work lined up, whether you are even eligible for work, how you will get a green card, when you plan to marry, why you are "in love" with a man who neglects his dog & sounds as thick as 2 planks with an aggressive fantasy about his dog's 'baby-protecting nature' who you have never cohabited with & seem to know next to nothing about ...

You say you met this loon at My brothers wedding in September ... so now, despite having only known him for 6 months you are planning to get knocked up.

What are you going to do if the relationship goes sour? Or his dog eats one of your dogs? Or he leaves you pregnant, with no green card, & unable to return home because you are now carrying his baby/have birthed his child, & he refuses to let you tale that child out of his country?

You would be fucking insane to go & shack up with this near-stranger.
You fallback plan seems to be "I'll just be dependent on my brother".
Your brother won't protect you from laws preventing you from taking this bloke's child out of the country when the relationship goes tits up. Nor will he be around to stop your dogs being savaged. You just haven't thought this through at all - I wonder if it's an exercise in fantasy, & you're winding everyone up.

Christ I despair I really do!!

Of course you don’t move your dogs to the home of a dog who’s killed another small dog! What if it was a child the dog had killed? It would have been pts and no way would you ever trust it with a child again. And people are blaming the Yorkie?!! I mean what the actual fuck!

You choose your dogs or this man. I’d choose your dogs because you’ll resent him and the relationship will be over within a year. Then you’ll have given up your dogs for nothing.

A similar dog almost killed a dog at our local park a few weeks ago. It will do it again especially if your dogs are in its territory.

This can't be real. You don't want to take your dogs as you don't like his pitbull but you are happy to have a baby.

Have you got a visa lined up? Job? This all seems crazy

September you met him - you hardly know him fgs!

Dogs who bite, even once, need putting down. And dog owners who keep aggressive dogs are a menace to society. You are right to be worried; pitbulls are banned here for a reason.

I would keep them away from each other , and slowly introduce them. Feed them in separate rooms too. You could crate the terrier part of the day so your dogs could walk around. You can watch how they interact with each other. Put your 2 in another room with the door shut, and take the terrier out for his walk, take some training treats and get to know him.

Quite apart from the dogs, once you have children with him, you will not be able to move back home until the youngest is 18

YABU.

It’s totally understandable why he won’t give up his dog. Just as you won’t give up yours. It seems like this is pretty much a stalemate.

maybe the truth is that you don’t want the move as you seem to hint that you’re giving up a lot already to be with him and that in itself is not a good start.

You can’t ask a person to get rid of their dog for you. It sounds like it was the other dog who instigated the fight and sad as it is those things can happen.

I do understand your concerns and as an owner of two cavaliers myself and very protective of them I wouldn’t be moving them into a place I didn’t feel safe with them. I took responsibility for them and that includes their safety. At all times. I also wouldn’t be flying them so far knowing the damage that can be done on a plane to dogs such as these.

And don’t think you can supervise. I mean my very small dogs used to fight before one was neutered and it’s extremely scary and noisy. You’d be at risk or serious injury if you intervened.

I wouldn’t want to be in a house with that dog myself, never mind putting my dogs in that risky position. I hope he never lets it off the lead in public spaces.

So you’re giving up everything to move across the world to live with someone you have met briefly a few months ago and are already arguing with?

Nope, don’t see any flaws in this plan.

Yeah but there are a few problems with this. A) The Pitbull is a known killer of other dogs B) OPs dogs will have to spend time in a crate for prolonged periods C) The Pitbull is a killer of other dogs. And D) The Pitbull is a killer of other dogs.

What a ridiculous thing to say.

Why the hell do you have a banned breed dog?

You both sound as ridiculous as each other.

Luckily I do have 1 brother and sister in law nearby, who I could live with until I started a new life, however, I agree i wouldn't be able to come home and be around family and friends of my own. He doesnt think the adjustment is a big deal, as I will have "his friends and family" around

He seems to believe that your family & friends are interchangeable with his own. That indicates somebody who doesn't place any value on the years you have spent building & cultivating those relationships. People are not interchangeable. You can't just substitute one for another.

It's a very shallow, immature attitude. The pair of you seem quite immature - he's working for his dad in the car shop & unable to even take decent care of his dog. You are planning to live with your brother or this near stranger your fiance but haven't said a word about what work you do, how you will support yourself, or how you are going to register as somebody legally entitled to work in the States.

Does your brother know he is his your fallback plan?

They may not be banned where the poster lives.