Pregnant women are not respected the same anymore

[Grannypantsandtea]

Is it just me or are people more inconsiderate to pregnant women (and new mums) than they used to be?
I remember being pregnant with my eldest 11 years ago, people would hold open doors, offer me seats etc. A lovely man helped me carry my buggy down stairs when the lift was broken. Older people would stop to fuss over the new baby.
Im now pregnant again with a very obvious bump and I’ve not come across one kind person yet.
Ive had people push into me, rush to get ahead in queues, run to take a bench I was clearly trying to sit at while feeling faint, not a single door held open, a woman pushing past to get into a lift so I couldn’t (spd so struggle with stairs).
Maybe it’s just me being old fashioned, I certainly don’t expect special treatment, but to lack consideration for a woman struggling seems to be a recent thing, I’m sure they wouldn’t do it to disabled people.
I have always been thoughtful to pregnant women, holding doors open for buggies etc, I thought it was just a general part of respect in this country but it’s sad how the world has changed in a decade.
Has anyone else experienced this complete lack of care towards others or is it just me? I’m prepared to be told I’m precious, but it only takes a few seconds out of your life to stop and let a pregnant lady walk past for example.

@Feefee00 I don't consider pregnancy an achievement. I put a hell of a lot more work into my education/training/career than I did to get pregnant. But it's definitely the most significant thing I've done. Nothing I've done before has been a case of life or death, or made a more meaningful contribution to my life/my fiancés life.

I am also in awe of how my body is doing all of this following my first pregnancy which was ectopic and made me lose all faith/confidence in what my body was capable of.

So whilst I don't need any talent to grow a baby, it's ignorant to suggest that pregnancy is as easy as spreading your legs - for a lot of people it isn't!

Oh I don’t know…. I was admittedly blessed with a largely straightforward child, though with some difficulties, but my PhD was a total ballache of four years compared to childrearing!

It does sound like you want special treatment, OP.

Walking into you (or anyone) is not ok but it does sound like you expect people to give you priority in some ways.

I get what you're saying as I remember being pregnant with my first baby a few years ago and standing on the train as no one ever offered me a seat but I didn't really expect it and when it was a problem I drove instead.

Really? Must have been doing it wrong seeing as I needed IVF and years TTC. BTW you make pregnant women sound like sluts with your language. I don't get why women talk about women like this?

Sorry but to get pregnant you just have to spread your legs and a man ejaculates. Your body automatically does it for you it doesn't take immense study or concentration.

It doesn't mean that reproduction isn't one of the most significant things humans do, in order to continue the human race. It's not about how hard it is or isn't to get pregnant. Which is a mixed experience for women anyway.

Whether the human race surviving is a good thing or not is another matter.

And, unless you've achieved something amazing and notable in life, that will be remembered by future generations, then in the larger scheme of things, it's insignificant and it dies with you.

Not that it matters. The enjoyment of life whilst it's happening is important. With or without children.

It's a bit crass. I did wonder if it was a bloke speaking. Sadly probably not though.

I had SPD too and struggled to stand for long but I don't think I would expect others to give me the seat they paid for too.

Would I offer my seat? Yes I probably would but I don't think it should be expected and I remember a pregnant woman once getting into a train loudly expressing how annoyed she was about people not giving her a seat (she didn't really give a chance) and I think that makes people want to be less accommodating.

I had SPD too and struggled to stand for long but I don't think I would expect others to give me the seat they paid for too.

I don't see why not. I'd give my seat up to anyone who genuinely needed it more than I did.

Most women do not have fertility issues though. I've gotten pregnant and given birth done child rearing. It's not as hard personally as my professional and personal achievements. I had my DD because well I got pregnant because of contraception failure I then decided to have the baby because I wanted too. I love her and I'm fiercely proud but it's not been an ordeal becoming a parent has been fulfilling for me not grueling.

I'm sorry for your fertility struggles but for many the majority have sex and get pregnant. It's not a miracle for most people.

Actually any pregnancy resulting in a healthy baby is a miracle given the odds against it.

Again why do you talk about women in such a crude way?

I agree.

It's difficult when you read Mumsnet and see some of the aggressive responses people have received from pregnant women/new mums. Woman snatching their baby away when a stranger tries to coo over them, suspicious if someone bumps into them in the street and coos over baby. Comments saying how they hate being stopped and just want to get on with their day and how annoying it is. Then comments from a PP who said they were out carrying shopping bags at 36 weeks and didn't want to be treated like glass. Previous threads where people have snapped "I'm fine!" "I'm pregnant not disabled" and eyerolls from pregnant woman when people have offered seats/to carry something because they don't want to be patronised. And this is before the minefield of accidently assuming someone is pregnant when they're not.

Sometimes people can't win, whilst I don't think anyone should be rude, I can see why people just don't bother anymore.

Not it's not for a young healthy woman a healthy baby is the usual outcome not a rarity or why is the birthrate so high in the world? Obstetrics has massively improved maternal outcomes. I'm a woman I have given birth , I had sex got pregnant and gave birth. I don't feel it was a miracle really but I'm very very happy I became a mother I don't think the world owes me very special treatment for what is a natural phenomenon for many people.

Is there a particular threshold of infertile women that needs to be hit before you think you should stop saying hurtful things, or?

This is a thread about pregnant women being respected. Why would an infertile person read it if it was going to cause them distress? It's evident by the thread title the topic it covers. Many people do not suffer from fertility issues so should be able.to express their views on a thread about pregnancy..

You don't even have to have had problems conceiving to have winced at the wording of your post.

I agree.

@Feefee00 given your comments denigrating pregnancy and it's significance I'm interested. I understand you're very proud of your achievements. What is more significant for you, your daughter or your career? What is more meaningful and special to you?

What an utterly vulgar way to speak about women.

I am so glad that I rarely come into contact with a lot of these kinds of posters in real life. I would not have believed that such cynical bitterness could really be directed at pregnant women. I mean, most pregnant women don't expect to be treated as some kind of demi-god but it is nice when people make the effort to be helpful and kind at what can be a very psychically and emotionally tough time. This thread reveals a real coldness towards pregnant women. Why is that? I was pregnant, found it pretty tough at points and like to be helpful to other pregnant women in case I can make their day a little but easier. Seriously, who on earth has a problem with this? Do you all teach your children these virtuous values?

Well I read it as an infertile woman, I read lots of threads on here, whether they relate directly to me or not.

Only someone narrow-minded would stay just within their own circle of understanding.

In this case I came on the thread to understand why the OP felt she wasn't being respected as a pregnant woman because I thought I might learn something, or recognise something I hadn't done myself because I didn't know it was useful for pregnant women etc. I mean the OP isn't looking for pregnant women to change their behaviour after all

And reading a thread about how it's easier for pregnant women if you do certain things shouldn't be a trigger for me to not read it as it shouldn't end up in an argument about whether having a children is the greatest achievement a woman can have or not because quite frankly even if its the worst achievement a women can have people should still make sure she can sit on a train if she needs to etc. Why does achievement even need to come into it when it's a question of needs?

Of course I'm happy I had my daughter she's lovely and amazing that's personal to me. I have have never really found parenting a burden or chore. I don't believe the world owes me worship because I had a child which I chose to do. I'm sure I could have also had a fulfilling life childfree. That being said if I saw a heavily pregnant woman I would open the door for them or offer them a seat same as the very elderly or disabled as that's good manners.

I don't think pregnancy childrearing is a miracle worthy of worship that's all I am saying.

I wouldn’t say having a child is the most significant thing that a woman can do. Yes, having a child is significant but not the most significant 🤷🏼‍♀️

Pregnant women