Pregnant women are not respected the same anymore

[Grannypantsandtea]

Is it just me or are people more inconsiderate to pregnant women (and new mums) than they used to be?
I remember being pregnant with my eldest 11 years ago, people would hold open doors, offer me seats etc. A lovely man helped me carry my buggy down stairs when the lift was broken. Older people would stop to fuss over the new baby.
Im now pregnant again with a very obvious bump and I’ve not come across one kind person yet.
Ive had people push into me, rush to get ahead in queues, run to take a bench I was clearly trying to sit at while feeling faint, not a single door held open, a woman pushing past to get into a lift so I couldn’t (spd so struggle with stairs).
Maybe it’s just me being old fashioned, I certainly don’t expect special treatment, but to lack consideration for a woman struggling seems to be a recent thing, I’m sure they wouldn’t do it to disabled people.
I have always been thoughtful to pregnant women, holding doors open for buggies etc, I thought it was just a general part of respect in this country but it’s sad how the world has changed in a decade.
Has anyone else experienced this complete lack of care towards others or is it just me? I’m prepared to be told I’m precious, but it only takes a few seconds out of your life to stop and let a pregnant lady walk past for example.

I've only got one LO nearly 1 so I can't say whether help has reduced but I've been amazed how many people try to help me / talk to me / interact with my baby. I also found people very keen to help me when I was pregnant

A lot of people are just horrible and bitter OP, as this thread shows. Unhappy with their own life so have to bring others down.

This attitude of ‘its a choice to be pregnant/have children’ is ridiculous. Yes it’s a choice but it still means they could benefit from a door being opened or your seat if you are able to give it to them. If you can help make someone’s life a bit easier or their day a bit more pleasant, why not. And if you can’t, you still don’t have to be an arsehole! That’s a choice.

It doesn't mean people can't have a disability that is considered to be a temporary disability. 🙄 Which SPD is. Same as a broken leg. Still need to be able to sit down because of limited standing tolerance. Still can't walk far.

I gave birth in 1980.

Believe me, it took me fainting for anyone to give me their seat on the commute to London. So nothing's changed

Honestly, when I was visibly pregnant in the later stages of pregnancy (plus size) and since having my DD people have been nicer to me tbh. I went to collect a book at xmas and the lift in waterstones wasn't working. I asked if the staff could sort it for me since I couldn't get down, but they carried the pram down the stairs, and back up as I mentioned I would have ideally liked to buy something else while there. I've found men a lot less aggressive and angry and me for simply taking up space when I'm with DD, but when I'm alone I get the same horrible attitudes from people simply for being fat.

Pregnancy is a choice, not a disability.

Sometimes it can be. You want to tell a pregnant woman in a wheelchair because the severe pain from her stretched ligaments means she can't walk that there is nothing wrong with her because she chose to get pregnant?

People choose to get into cars, dive into swimming pools, walk down the stairs, eat something. Sometimes these choices lead to disability. You want to shit on them too?

I was put in hospital 3 times with dd due to HG. Couldn’t keep any fluids down and needed to be hydrated by a drip

Congratulations on being fertile and I'm sorry you aren't getting spoilt by society for having a child. You aren't getting your special moment.

Don't be rediculous. That's not what anyone is saying.

Do you feel better now? How sad.

Yes I do thanks. I'm so sick of this shit.

Your life will be no better for it though.

Thank you for your profound thoughts but quite frankly I couldn't give a stuff what you think. Walk a mile in my shoes and you'd understand.

The people on this thread saying being pregnant isn't a disability or an illness are the problem. Good for you that your pregnancy wasn't difficult, but for many of us it is.

I've suffered so much with both my pregnancies, especially the current one. I have extreme back and hip pain as well as very swollen legs and feet. I cannot look after myself properly, let alone my daughter or anyone else. I don't go out much now but when I do I am clearly struggling and very much in pain. I can hardly walk, I can't bend, I am in constant pain. Luckily where I live now people are very kind.

I lived in London with my first pregnancy and had to do my daily commute on the tube. People were awful. Even though I was visibly pregnant and wore my baby on board badge, I was still pushed out of the way on more than one occasion. People are just horrid.

It's a choice society stands to benefit from, I am grateful for people who go through it and it is a medical condition as well as a source of personal discomfort. Without mothers working hard to gift us with each new generation, there would be no nurses and no doctors in the hospitals, no farms growing our food, no scientists and engineers and manual labourers beneath the tip of iceberg keeping us safe and alive the collective genius and backbreaking work that takes, no research into a sustainable future, nobody to work hard so we can pay the MASSIVE amounts it costs to look after our old folks, nobody transporting the goods or flying the planes and so on.

It is small wonder some "people" don't respect bumps in an age of confused and evil anti life, anti mother, anti family propaganda - after all why respect cishet breeder birthing persons with their notaperson tumours and their carbon footprints.

Really though, the truth is nearly everyone does respect pregnant woman, and the few that don't, probably don't respect women in general, or motherhood, or perhaps even people in general. We will have to carry those people to carry along for now, but it is something that will go out of fashion eventually - if only through natural selection.

We should be courteous to each other in general anyway, regardless of pregnancy.

Saying that, I do find that a few women on MN expect others to notice they are pregnant and offer a seat. With phones and ear buds now, I think people are more in their own world so sometimes you have to ask.

Oh the irony in that statement.

@Plantlifeonmars Obviously something about pregnancy is triggering for you, you have my sympathies, but it's really not relevant on this thread and moreover you can clearly see what this thread is about before you click on it.

Musing whether or not people's overall attitude has changed towards pregnant women is not something that is a personal attack on anyone.

I had a pregnant lady completely lose the plot with me on a bus. I was the only passenger on a bus at the time who was under 70. A pregnant lady got on, looked around, saw me and made a beeline as all the seats were coupled (it’s only a small bus). The lady asked if she could have my seat and as soon. As I started saying ‘sorry but I can’t’ she immediately started hollering at me that she couldn’t possibly stand and I should show more respect and not be lazy. As she was shouting I calmly moved my coat off my lap so she could see the leg brace that I was wearing and she then spotted the crutches at my side.

In the end the bus driver had to leave his seat at the next stop as the woman wouldn’t stop berating me. I couldn’t physically stand on a moving bus, I had chosen the disabled seat so I had a little more leg room to shimmy my leg in. The lovely old woman sat next to me looked like she was ready to punch the woman by the time the driver escorted the woman off the bus 🤣

I understand people have difficulties. What I don’t understand is people being horrible to other people who are struggling with different problems. They’re all valid. Being angry and bitter and sniping at others will not improve your life.

Are you jealous?

No the older people comment was to explain what I experienced in my previous pregnancy/new mum stage compared to now.

But you also have a 3 year old and a 7 year old, so two much newer previous pregnancies?

If it is what I think it is bothering you many have and don't across as a dick.

Extreme hurt I'd imagine