Pregnant women are not respected the same anymore

[Grannypantsandtea]

Is it just me or are people more inconsiderate to pregnant women (and new mums) than they used to be?
I remember being pregnant with my eldest 11 years ago, people would hold open doors, offer me seats etc. A lovely man helped me carry my buggy down stairs when the lift was broken. Older people would stop to fuss over the new baby.
Im now pregnant again with a very obvious bump and I’ve not come across one kind person yet.
Ive had people push into me, rush to get ahead in queues, run to take a bench I was clearly trying to sit at while feeling faint, not a single door held open, a woman pushing past to get into a lift so I couldn’t (spd so struggle with stairs).
Maybe it’s just me being old fashioned, I certainly don’t expect special treatment, but to lack consideration for a woman struggling seems to be a recent thing, I’m sure they wouldn’t do it to disabled people.
I have always been thoughtful to pregnant women, holding doors open for buggies etc, I thought it was just a general part of respect in this country but it’s sad how the world has changed in a decade.
Has anyone else experienced this complete lack of care towards others or is it just me? I’m prepared to be told I’m precious, but it only takes a few seconds out of your life to stop and let a pregnant lady walk past for example.

Whatever happened to women supporting women hey 🙄. I agree most pregnancies cannot be compared to a disability but in this case the OP has stated that she is suffering with spd which is bloody awful and for the time being she is 'disabled' in a way that she is not able to function normally/without pain. People pushing into her is awful and no excuse for it.

I had horrendous morning sickness followed by low blood pressure and episodes of fainting with all of my pregnancies. Hated being seen as precious or melodramatic, but I had really bad episodes in public spaces (where it was often hot) and a bit of common courtesy was greatly appreciated. On the flipside my deliveries were all beautifully straightforward. Would I even dream of insinuating a lady with a horrific birth was being a "snowflake" or "wanting to be treated as a saint" as I've seen some posters comment, no I wouldn't.

It's also pretty much the most special thing anyone can do. What's more significant than creating a life and growing it with your own body?!

Have you any idea how that makes people feel who can’t have children? And are you really dismissing the achievements of all women who’ve never had children?

@KimberleyClark oh of course, the absolute only achievement in life is child bearing. Women who haven't had children and all men are incapable of achieving anything.

Obviously that's not what I mean and it's disingenuous to twist it otherwise.

You said It's also pretty much the most special thing anyone can do. What's more significant than creating a life and growing it with your own body?!. That seems pretty unambiguous to me.

No, what would have been unambiguous would have been if I'd have said "It's also pretty much the only special thing anyone can do. What else is significant other than creating a life and growing it with your own body?!"

But I didn't say that did I? Because that isn't how I feel. Yet here we are..

To be honest, I would not know how to treat a pregnant woman nowadays. There have been thread after thread on here about people taking offence over the most minor of things, I would be scared I put my foot in it. Likewise interacting with and about babies seems a minefield now so I just don't bother after a mum at my health club took huge offence when I winced (jokingly) when she said her baby was up at 5am every morning. I just don't bother now as everyone seems to take offence over (to me) nothing at all. It's sad but true

It is for some people, I ended up in a wheelchair and had my 11 year old daughter have to help me dress, years later and I have a blue badge as I can’t walk far due to damage in my pelvis so yes pregnancies can be disabling

Sorry, your backtracking makes no sense.

You said “what’s more significant” which implies nothing is more significant. Otherwise it makes no sense. That means you believe pregnancy the most significant thing a woman can do.

So you were pretty clear that the most important thing a woman can do is have a baby.

In terms of genetic programming / survival of the human species, I guess reproduction is the most important thing. Basic biology. It's hardly a controversial belief / understanding. Even if some woman (and men) are unable to have children or make a choice not to. This doesn't mean people don't achieve other significant or meaningful things during the course of their lifetime.

@MarieRoseMarie I'm not backtracking at all. I do believe that creation of life is the most significant thing a woman can do. That's my view, I won't be guilt tripped into changing it🤷🏻‍♀️ however I don't believe it is the only significant thing women can do as the PP claimed. There are plenty of things women & men do that are significant and amazing that have nothing to do with growing babies.

I'm sorry you've had bad experiences op. I hope you were just unlucky to meet a few bad eggs. Both times when I was pregnant (6 and 2 years ago) I was amazed at how friendly everyone had suddenly become. Random people wishing me best of luck on the street, people smiling and just generally being nice. I think they were more helpful as well but I work from home and don't use public transportation so don't have much opportunity to get into conflict with others.

I don't know. I would like to think that people appreciate kindness even if it makes them feel bad? For instance, the other day on the tube I was offered a seat by a man of roughly my age. I don't have any disability and am in my thirties so it couldn't have been age either. I am fat though with a big tummy. He must have thought I'm pregnant. I am not but I was still touched and appreciated that he offered up his seat for someone he thought he is pregnant.

Well, this is also true, I agree. Whatever you say or do, people feel offended all the bloody time.

I don’t agree with you but I respect you clearly articulating your point and sticking by it.

Agree with this. I wouldn't ever stop and fuss over a baby. There are enough threads on here about how we as extended family or friends need to leave the new family alone to make memories or for their routine not to be distupted. Why would anyone stop to coo in the street over a stranger's baby? I'd worry about being shouted at or thought to be weird.

I was really surprised how much people did do for me when I was pregnant - all of the good things you mentioned. And now with a baby, heaps of people coming to say hello to her and being nice. I live in the centre of a safe&friendly city, though, and I walk and bus everywhere - I think this makes those interactions more likely.

I have to say I wasn't so considerate of pregnant women before I was myself, it just wasn't on my radar. I might have offered a seat on a bus. I didn't really spend time with anyone pregnant or with babies so it wasn't really part of my world or something I thought about. I hope I always did the right thing!

Vile behaviour from the pregnant woman.
Some people just don’t have any manners.
I’m sorry that happened to you!

They don’t care about women with babies either. Several times I’ve been struggling to open a door and get the buggy through and people just stare at me blankly. The only people that hold a door open are elderly ladies, often with walking aids themselves. They’re also the only people that will stop to chat too. And no I don’t think the world should stop because I was pregnant or have a baby but I was always taught to hold open doors and be polite. Are basic manners considered old fashioned?

Indeed, very disrespectful

How about just kindness all round? Seems like something lacking everywhere these days.
Pregnant women shouldn't demand seats but you also don't need to overly care about someone being pregnant or bend over back wards to be respectful either. Why is everyone always so divided?

Have you not noticed? It's on everything.

I was treated with a lot of consideration when I was pregnant two years ago, so maybe it depends where you are?

@buttercupboots I don’t agree with you either but at least you’ve stood by your opinion.

Sorry but to get pregnant you just have to spread your legs and a man ejaculates. Your body automatically does it for you it doesn't take immense study or concentration. It's not a talent to get pregnant, I have achieved much more difficult things in my life Vs reproducing. Childrearing is the more difficult part but still not as hard as professional and personal achievements. Millions of women shag and give birth it's not a miracle the earth isn't short of humans !!

Childrearing is the more difficult part but still not as hard as professional and personal achievements.

@Feefee00 Well that’s quite clearly a load of bollocks 😂

@Feefee00 That kind of argument is no better than "creating a life is the most significant thing". It's hurtful to those with fertility issues and those who've had MC, who find themselves unable to do something so apparently simple. It's also incredibly dismissive of what is a significant thing. I don't agree with @buttercupboots (and found their comments to me very rude) that it's the most significant thing, but nor is it something which is insignificant or as straightforward as you say. In many, many cases the body does not "automatically do it for you". It still, in 2023, kills women to carry and give birth to a child.

There's a middle ground, as I've tried to say throughout this thread.