Pregnant women are not respected the same anymore

[Grannypantsandtea]

Is it just me or are people more inconsiderate to pregnant women (and new mums) than they used to be?
I remember being pregnant with my eldest 11 years ago, people would hold open doors, offer me seats etc. A lovely man helped me carry my buggy down stairs when the lift was broken. Older people would stop to fuss over the new baby.
Im now pregnant again with a very obvious bump and I’ve not come across one kind person yet.
Ive had people push into me, rush to get ahead in queues, run to take a bench I was clearly trying to sit at while feeling faint, not a single door held open, a woman pushing past to get into a lift so I couldn’t (spd so struggle with stairs).
Maybe it’s just me being old fashioned, I certainly don’t expect special treatment, but to lack consideration for a woman struggling seems to be a recent thing, I’m sure they wouldn’t do it to disabled people.
I have always been thoughtful to pregnant women, holding doors open for buggies etc, I thought it was just a general part of respect in this country but it’s sad how the world has changed in a decade.
Has anyone else experienced this complete lack of care towards others or is it just me? I’m prepared to be told I’m precious, but it only takes a few seconds out of your life to stop and let a pregnant lady walk past for example.

@Grannypantsandtea
Everyone’s situation is different, comparing pregnancy vs disability is childish and brings nothing to the thread as that isn’t what it was about. I’m not sure what some of you hope to gain with your ridiculous comments, does it make you feel more superior or something? As it just makes you look discriminatory yourself.

What? You were the one who first compared pregnancy and disability. To remind you, in your first post you said "Maybe it’s just me being old fashioned, I certainly don’t expect special treatment, but to lack consideration for a woman struggling seems to be a recent thing, I’m sure they wouldn’t do it to disabled people." And it was your "ridiculous", incorrect and discriminatory comment that was called out, mutiple times, by people with disabilities. Rewritng history when your own words are there in black and white is senseless. I can't see anybody saying that pregnant women shouldn't be treated with due regard to their condition. I CAN see you saying that disabled people are treated better than pregnant women. And then going on to justify that statement, ignoring the lived experience of posters with disabilities. Why does your lived experience override ours? You had no right to bring people with disabilities into your FIRST post - i.e. to repeat, you did the comparison and immediately - when you were talking about other people's attitudes towards pregnant women, and to suggest that we were "treated better" than you are.

Your being upset about how people treat you does not justify your comments about disability. You could have made your point without ever mentioning disability. But the way it is phrased gives the impression that you think that "even" disabled people get better treatment, like somehow we aren't entitled to the respect you demand for yourself. The fact that some of the posters here are blind to that fact doesn't surprise me on a site that regularly hosts "educational" threads about how people with disabilities are scroungers, liars and benefit cheats; and where compalinst about such threads are ignored because "people are being educated". Let's insult the disabled - it's all in the name of education.

Your comparison was offensive.

It’s no reason to try to hurt others though.

How so?

I have experienced years of infertility. I wouldn't have made those sort of comments. Probably best not to go on a trigger thread then.

Finally a sensible, considerate, logical response.

Shame on half of you bullies in the comments section. You're the problem. You are still vulnerable when pregnant - of course you are. If your bump was knocked into.. and physiologically and emotionally, a pregnancy DOES put a strain on the body and women do need extra consideration so then her pregnancy becomes low risk.

OP - I totally agree. My first pregnancy 15 years ago was treated different from me being pregnant this time - we all know what is to blame for this though. It's all too far.

Yes, they should pander, protect and take care of pregnant women. Pregnant women are queens for bringing into the world the next generation. It's taxing physically and emotionally physically on the body. Respect for each other has to start from the very beginning. Those who think otherwise, I sure hope you get the respect and care you deserve when you're vulnerable.

I some people are just arseholes. I had one women elbow me in the ribs , whilst I was heavily pregnant , to get a seat on the tube. Same women also pushed a small child - about 5 years old - out of the tube doors. They don’t discriminate! It’s not just pregnant women on the receiving end. I call that behaviour out when I see it.

No she didn't.

The OP did nothing wrong. Lots of posters have piled on, presumably because they enjoy being nasty and belittling.

Get a life and move on. OP hasn't once diminished people's experiences who have disabilities. If you genuinely think she has then that says more about your understanding than anything else.

Pregnant women CAN experience disabilities as a result of their pregnancy and they ARE vulnerable and they DO deserve consideration.

Pregnancy and disability are not comparable Of course some effects of pregnancy are disabling.

Prople need to be mindful of disabled people and pregnant women. OP I’m sorry this hasn’t been the case for you and all the other posters. That have suffered people cuntish behaviour.

Yes, they should pander, protect and take care of pregnant women. Pregnant women are queens for bringing into the world the next generation

This is the mentality that pisses people off. You’re not royalty or martyrs. You’re having kids because you want them and millions of women are doing the same thing.

What are everyone else, peasants? Give over.

I’m sure they wouldn’t do it to disabled people

OP this is the sentence that rubbed a lot of people up the wrong way here. You made a judgement you know nothing about.

Your whole thread it also quite contradictory with your updates claiming ALL people should be treated with respect which yes they absolutely should, but yet you have started a thread about how pregnant women should be respected. I don’t agree with some of the harsh comments but people have become more self important in general, you included for this post.

I think people are more oblivious now. 11 years ago, we weren’t all glued to our phones. Now people on public transport barely look up from their screens.

Having said that, I think people are generally polite. I’ll hold a door for the next person to catch and vice versa.

It seems to me that many women use pregnancy/childbirth as an excuse to treat other people badly. As though millions of women haven’t made it through pregnancy without all the fuss. Pregnancy is a choice, if it’s too much to handle don’t become pregnant.

I think pregnant women should be given consideration when it comes to offering seats, helping with lifting, being allowed to queue jump in toilets. Obviously if you have a reason why you can't stand, lift or wait for the toilet yourself, you wouldn't offer. I can and would.
Respect? Maybe a poor choice of word, but if it was meant literally, then no, I don't respect pregnant women any more than anyone else. I'd offer consideration for their and their babies health, not because they're 'special'.

Nobody knows how their pregnancy is going to go.

I had a great first pregnancy. My second pregnancy I started in a lot of pain from 17 weeks and had to give up work at 29 weeks because I couldn’t walk properly. I’m in pain all the time.

I think people have become much less considerate than before and perhaps being pregnant has made you a lot more alert to it.

Your comparison to disabled people is so arrogant and incorrect.

Yabu op. Huge congrats but your not due a round of applause for having sexual intercourse. Got enough of my own problems. I don't pay enough attention to my surroundings to notice pregnant people to be honest. If I did notice I'd very likely smile but that's about it. I wouldn't think you're incapable of opening a door for yourself.

You give over. Your comment is limited in knowledge. Evidence based research throughout history clearly indicates a woman's body is put through a lot of strain physically, chemically and emotionally. - Factual. Even those women who claim 'I can do it all, leave me'. - Them too.

Think of your mother and your mothers mother. How would you feel if they were told they chose pregnancy, so don't deserve this kind of thoughtfulness/protection around them, to help pick up dropped items, lift something heavy, let them rest before they pass out due to their iron levels dropping. What has happened to our society where equality has over taken consideration for those who are vulnerable. Where being a mother is no longer valued over being an employee for example.

Think before you put a comment out there like this. Women, can die in child birth. The kindness of others could be the last thing they experience. - extreme I know, but I work with pregnant women, and those horrendous situations after.

Yes, pregnancies are on the whole, chosen.
The alternate is accidents? Or not pro-creating.. your point here is pointless.

Hopefully you'll consider some of my points. I will of course respect yours - and should I ever walk through a door before you, you'll be assured I'll hold it open for you.

I hold a door open for anyone, doesn't everyone? I very rarely experience someone letting a door go in my face. And I am categorically not pregnant!

If people are going past you OP it's probably because you are moving very slowly, not because you are pregnant. They just don't want to get caught behind you.

What an unbelievably cynical sentiment.

It depends really people are getting bigger anyway some you can't tell if they are even pregnant, some might not want to be rude or assume they are..^^

There was the odd rude person when I was expecting my first 5 years ago, it's not a new thing.

I never encountered a rude person when I was late stage strangers were really helpful.

@HVPRN What part of any of what I said suggested I slam doors in pregnant women’s faces or don’t offer them a seat?

I just don’t consider them to be “queens”.

There is a middle ground between basic consideration that everyone deserves and deification and idolatry. Mothers aren’t saints and you need to stop acting like you’re the only person who cares enough to hold a door open for someone.

Not sure why it's so hard for some people to get their heads around. Certain groups of people should have extra consideration in recognition of their circumstances, generally people made vulnerable in some way due to age, pregnancy etc.

Not every old person that you offer a seat for will want or need to take it, it doesn't mean you should never offer it.

It's common decency.

FWIW though I do think pregnant women deserve a medal/award/round of applause. I was completely naive to how physically and emotionally taxing it is. It's also pretty much the most special thing anyone can do. What's more significant than creating a life and growing it with your own body?!