Skinny privellege

[Annabella91]

Why is there shops full of clothes for women who are skinnt but nothing bigger i hate going clothes literally can never find anything in a size 16 it's all size 6 and 8 is the fat back in the 90s discrimination trend coming in again?? Shouldn't need to skinny to look nice??

I think some of the over reactions on this thread are just people using it as an excuse to be nasty.

No it isn't. Maybe in the nineties? I was a child so not sure about that. It certainly isn't now. Healthy is ideal now.

Actually, it is now. The younger women at work consider skinny a very negative description denoting a lack of the aspirational 'curves' of today's asthetic.

Where do you shop @Annabella91 ?

I'm jealous that shops cater mainly for the skinny body type yes everyone needs clothes I also deserve to dress nice like skinny people do and feel good it seems like a privilege that thin people have to me.
Have you tried losing the victim mindset? You might be happier.

I regularly go shopping and can't find what I'm looking for or it doesn't fit well. Same for a lot of women because we come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and have different clothing preferences. There's different stock in on different days and some trends suit me, others don't.

I certainly don't go home moaning that it's some silly made up privilege that the shops didn't have what I wanted.

It must be absolutely miserable going through life deciding the shops are out to get you.

It’s not “actually seen as a compliment”. Who in their right mind would think that, or say it? The person on the receiving end certainly won’t.

... except to those who are skinny.

People who are sized at the extremities of what society deems ‘acceptable’ or ‘normal’ always feel that they differ from the norm, and take offence at words that describe them. People who are fat believe the word fat is derogatory, and those who are thin believe the word skinny is derogatory. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. It’s how they feel. Offence it taken by them because they are already conscious of their differences from the norm.

Yes, they should all have thicker skins, but some of us are sensitive souls, or indeed new to the outer edges of the bell curve.

Personally I don’t care. I’m fat. I don’t see the point in sugar coating it. Sugar coating things was what got me here.

I've been obese and now a size 6- 8. I never found it hard buying clothes either I'd just purchase online.

I think some people who are overweight cannot get their heads round people thinking ‘skinny’ is an insult. They are so desperate to be slimmer (and society indeed does not like ‘fat’) that they think ‘skinny’ is the goal and they are blind to any alternative experiences.

Despite many people giving clear examples where ‘skinny’ is used as a vindictive insult (I too could add anecdotes from me and my kids), some fatter folk are genuinely unable to believe it.

Personally I don’t care. I’m fat. I don’t see the point in sugar coating it. Sugar coating things was what got me here.

😍😎

Exactly. It is often thrown in with other negative comments so the intention is very clear. Comments about breast size, looking like a boy, about men wanting a 'real woman' and 'something to grab hold of'.

'Nothing feels as as good as skinny feels.'

When used as a personal insult, i bet its not nice no. But you can tern any physical attribute to an insult.

As long as skinny/slim/thin is the default setting for what is seen as healthy or beautiful, then it is not the same as fat.

Its not a competition btw. No one is trying to argue that just because you are in a smaller body that you wont have self esteem issues, have people comment on your body, struggle to find clothes that fit.

ITS.STILL.NOT.THE.SAME

But I'd say I can't ever find the right waist size Vs hips I have 26 inch waist and all my pants are too loose on waist but too tight on hips and legs. Will have to get some tailored ones.

OP, you had a baby six weeks ago?!

I am slim/skinny etc and did not feel good about how I looked at six weeks pp. Please stop being harsh on yourself and look after yourself instead. You may be feeling tired and extra sensitive right now. Maybe it’s not the right time for a shopping spree.

When you feel stronger, head out to the shops then. Or order online. I would not have wanted to be traipsing round shops looking for nice clothes at your stage. I accept everyone is different though.

Exactly. It is often thrown in with other negative comments so the intention is very clear. Comments about breast size, looking like a boy, about men wanting a 'real woman' and 'something to grab hold of'.

Absolutely. Add in looking like a man and bony to the list. Or being presumed to be a bitch or have an eating disorder. But yes, what a compliment.

It's not a competition but also bigger people have it worse🤔

Meh. I've been called skinny loads of times. At school some kids even set up a 'feed leithreas fund'. Genuinely doesn't bother me. I have a mirror, I know I have a good figure.

In terms of oppression? Yes.

Read the thread - some great points.

This, 100%.

I was online shopping last night. Every single thing I went “oh that’s quite nice”, was out of stock in a size 12. But available in both smaller and larger sizes. I recently ordered a jacket in a S because I was desperate to have it because M and L were sold out (I like jackets oversized anyway so didn’t mind if I had to go bigger). Luckily the jacket fits fine because it was an oversized style anyway and is still loose and baggy, but that’s beside the point.

That is one example of me going shopping.

Yet, I did a clothes shop before Christmas and got everything I liked, in my size. A lot of the items were sold out of the other sizes.

It’s the luck of the draw. Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you don’t. If you really want a particular item then you need to either

• ask a sales assistant if they have it out the back
• ask if they can order it into store for you
• go online and try and purchase it there
• check back frequently in case it’s came back into stock

You can’t just go shopping and take the huff because a few items weren’t on the rail in your size.

All the more reason to be a nicer person and not be nasty to anyone whose slim

That’s great. You clearly have good self esteem. My teenager was very much affected by the ‘skinny’ insults, it made her paranoid on prom day. People are different and it was not a meh for her.

The OP didn't use 'skinny' as an insult though. People chose to take it that way. She was just complaining about clothes sizes and got called all manner of nasty things by 'skinny' people in return.

I hope you can help your teenager work on help esteem.

We are trying. Therapy etc.

I was not targeting the OP; it was a general point for those who didn’t understand how ‘skinny’ could ever be an insult.

You’re right. It is easier to dress a slim body. The thing you’re missing is that this isn’t privilege: it’s usually down to hard work and discipline. I’m pretty disciplined with what I eat most of the time because honestly being happy with the way I look and feeling healthy is more enjoyable to me than eating lots of nice food. It is quite an effort though; the prevalence of junk food (and I love junk food) means I’m constantly persuading myself to make the right choice.

What I will say though is that no one feels good after giving birth. I was the biggest I’ve ever been after both of mine (a 12-14 for context) and I felt dreadful. I didn’t look dreadful by any stretch as I’m sure nor do you, but it will take a while for your body to feel like yours again. There’s a good argument for not buying clothes when you feel like that - I found it made me feel worse!

@Annabella91 what shops do you want to shop in? The ones catering to women in their late teens / early 20s may stock mainly small sizes, but the majority of high street stores sell larger sizes now. You don't have to shop in M&S if you don't want to. H&M, Primark, River Island, Monki, John Lewis, Topshop (on ASOS) all do larger sizes. Where doc you actually want to buy clothes from??