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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Skinny privellege

758 replies

Annabella91 · 20/02/2023 08:40

Why is there shops full of clothes for women who are skinnt but nothing bigger i hate going clothes literally can never find anything in a size 16 it's all size 6 and 8 is the fat back in the 90s discrimination trend coming in again?? Shouldn't need to skinny to look nice??

OP posts:
Okunevo · 20/02/2023 18:05

Annabella91 · 20/02/2023 18:02

I think you'll find they do have more choices In life than fatter people especially when it comes clothing.

From experience, they don't

Reinventinganna · 20/02/2023 18:05

Shouldn't need to skinny to look nice??

You don’t have to be ‘skinny’ to look nice! Regardless of size or shape you have to find a retailer that you like that caters for your needs. I wouldn’t shop in miss Selfridges because I don’t think their clothes cater for my style or age, it doesn’t make them bad, they’re just not for me.

Out of interest how do you define ‘skinny’ and how do you define ‘fat’?

It may be good to get this anger over perceived ideas around weight out of the way before your dd reaches an age where she picks up on it.

bellac11 · 20/02/2023 18:06

Fluffygreenslippers · 20/02/2023 18:02

I agree with you. When I was much younger the only place I could buy clothes was Evans, and later on, simply be. Eleven years later I’m that size again and the choice is just as limited and dreadful. Okay, there is some stuff online but God Forbid I actually wanted to try something on! I’m fat, I need to see if a garment will fit, let alone look nice.

I dont think Evans even do a physical store now do they?

Comedycook · 20/02/2023 18:11

Skinny is not often used as an insult and even if that's the intention, society views being skinny as preferable to being fat, so no, I don't believe being called skinny hurts as much as being called fat.

Annabella91 · 20/02/2023 18:12

I already have therapy thanks im allowed to vent my frustration on the fact shops don't have anything for fat people.

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MarkWithaC · 20/02/2023 18:15

I don't appreciate being called skinny. For starters I'm not, I'm lanky; it's an ugly-sounding, rude word, IMO; and it's usually said to me in an angry or unpleasantly envious tone, and often accompanied by accusations of me having an eating disorder (which is SO offensive to those who do) or not eating enough/anything (which a) is not true and b) how the fuck do people presume to know?
I'm not sure anyone can say definitely which hurts more, being called fat or being called skinny, but I can tell you that I find being called skinny is usually not done from a nice place and can be quite hurtful and feel aggressive.

Annabella91 · 20/02/2023 18:16

Skinny is seen as the ideal fat isn't I agree with you

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OhMyBleedingHeart · 20/02/2023 18:19

Annabella91 · 20/02/2023 18:16

Skinny is seen as the ideal fat isn't I agree with you

No it's not, many people get bulllied for being skinny. Normal weight is the idea- that's not skinny.

Stravaig · 20/02/2023 18:20

I think you'll find they do have more choices In life than fatter people especially when it comes clothing.

This absolutely isn't true any more. We've just had 10 years where the default trouser style is a shapeless balloon with a high elasticated waist and a dropped crotch, which I assume is intended to comfortably clothe bodies and bellies which are getting larger and larger.

Either that or all of the people who can actually cut and tailor fabric with skill and precision vanished into a wormhole years ago. Either way, I can't find a properly fitting pair of trousers anywhere.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 20/02/2023 18:21

OhMyBleedingHeart · 20/02/2023 17:45

It's just not though. Even if someone is called skinny it is never ever said with the same kind of venom as when someone is called fat.

Yea it is, larger people don't have the monopoly on self esteem issues, insults and upsetting comments. As pp said, if struggle to maintain weight it is equally offensive.

I know, right?! Skinny bitch is actually a compliment 🙄

Smoothlines · 20/02/2023 18:22

Annabella91 · 20/02/2023 18:16

Skinny is seen as the ideal fat isn't I agree with you

Skinny is definitely not seen as the ideal. It’s really hard to buy clothes for the very slender -nothing fits. Everything has to be taken in massively at the waist or worn with a belt. Clothes hang off you. Anything with any hint of cleavage is a no-no.

Comedycook · 20/02/2023 18:22

But the very fact someone will call someone skinny in a day to day interaction is because being skinny is seen as desirable. A colleague at work might say something like "oh how do you stay so skinny?"...but they wouldn't dream of saying "oh, why are you so fat?" ...that's because skinny = good, fat = bad in the eyes of our society therefore the first statement isn't seen as an actual insult.

Smoothlines · 20/02/2023 18:24

Comedycook · 20/02/2023 18:22

But the very fact someone will call someone skinny in a day to day interaction is because being skinny is seen as desirable. A colleague at work might say something like "oh how do you stay so skinny?"...but they wouldn't dream of saying "oh, why are you so fat?" ...that's because skinny = good, fat = bad in the eyes of our society therefore the first statement isn't seen as an actual insult.

That’s because the person saying it is really thick and insulting and rude. Not because “skinny” isn’t offensive.

Comedycook · 20/02/2023 18:26

No it's because the person saying it doesn't actually think it's an insult...it's actually seen as a compliment

Swiftbushome · 20/02/2023 18:27

The only people who think the word "skinny" is a compliment are fat people!! There how do you like that?

Comedycook · 20/02/2023 18:29

Swiftbushome · 20/02/2023 18:27

The only people who think the word "skinny" is a compliment are fat people!! There how do you like that?

I don't for a moment believe that everyone who's ever been called skinny has taken it as an insult. I bet loads are secretly chuffed

OoooohMatron · 20/02/2023 18:31

Comedycook · 20/02/2023 18:29

I don't for a moment believe that everyone who's ever been called skinny has taken it as an insult. I bet loads are secretly chuffed

Honestly skinny is not a compliment. Slim, yes but not skinny.

Comedycook · 20/02/2023 18:31

Swiftbushome · 20/02/2023 18:27

The only people who think the word "skinny" is a compliment are fat people!! There how do you like that?

Why have you assumed I'm fat? I haven't mentioned my own weight or size on this thread

Swiftbushome · 20/02/2023 18:33

Well I assumed you're fat because you are suggesting that "skinny" should be taken as a compliment and it bloody isn't one! Honestly. I'm not even especially slim. I'm a size 10, so a completely normal size. I'm really not hung up about my weight in any way but I HATE being called skinny. It's so fucking rude.

Comedycook · 20/02/2023 18:35

Commenting on someone's body is generally rude but being called fat (as you've just called me) is generally full of venom and real spitefulness

Annabella91 · 20/02/2023 18:37

Really the last time I looked at m&s it was aimed at more mature women il have a look next time I'm passing i doubt could afford it either though lol.

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Swiftbushome · 20/02/2023 18:41

Have you ever been called skinny? I can promise you it's rude and usually meant as a sort of fake compliment. Where someone is suggesting that you either sont deserve to be "skinny" or youre a wierso who only eats lettuce leaves. And for the record I didn't actually call you fat. I said only fat people think being called skinny is a compliment and made an assumption based on that fact that you must be fat.

OoooohMatron · 20/02/2023 18:41

Swiftbushome · 20/02/2023 18:33

Well I assumed you're fat because you are suggesting that "skinny" should be taken as a compliment and it bloody isn't one! Honestly. I'm not even especially slim. I'm a size 10, so a completely normal size. I'm really not hung up about my weight in any way but I HATE being called skinny. It's so fucking rude.

What I really hate is when overweight women claim to be 'real women'. I've pushed 2 babies out my chuff but I don't qualify as a real woman because I'm a size 10!

Comedycook · 20/02/2023 18:44

I've been every size from an 8-16. I've never been called skinny but I have been told I've lost weight and I can tell you that's far far preferable to someone commenting that I've put on weight.

Annabella91 · 20/02/2023 18:46

I have 3 children my older 2 havent grown up to feel like I do there 11 and 6 its just my own feelings which a lot of the time I keep to myself because nobody cares how you feel
I hate the one thing I should enjoy and that's clothes shopping because they don't have anything hardly in my size.
If I was skinny I wouldn't have the issue of not finding anything to wear.

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