To take DD back to the GP for her weight

[christmassedout]

DD has just turned 9 and is very overweight. We've been trying to tackle it through diet and exercise since xmas. Her belly has been huge for a while now, if it was smaller she still wouldn't be slim, but it looks enormous in proportion to the rest of her. We were really struggling to buy clothes to fit her because of it.

She's had a growth spurt since Christmas and seems to have slimmed down around her arms and legs. Her weight has dropped slightly. But she's measuring even bigger around the belly.

I've taken her to the GP before and they were very dismissive. I would really like them to do some kind of tests to make sure there isn't anything else going on, DP thinks it's only been two months and they'll say she's just overweight.

Of course you don't take her to the gp when you say she eats lots of fast food and crsp at her dad's!

Although all of the advice suggested is well intended please get better professional advice via a GP, Registered Nutritionist or Dietitian. Even if you have to pay you will know you are doing the right thing for your child’s health rather than taking a change on Google doc.

I'm agree with this. Her friends saying something is one thing, but her mum constantly measuring her tummy with a tape measure and weighing her must be giving her such anxiety about her appearance.

This is a NINE year old who apparently needs to wear adult size 14/16. Do you think she's not aware that she is much much bigger than her peers around her tummy?
Of course the OP should be doing all she can to ensure her daughter's self esteem is maintained. At the same time she needs to help her stay as physically healthy as she can otherwise she's storing up a huge amount of health issues for the future.
What do you suggests she do? Ignore it??

Exactly, it's a health issue. Obesity is a disease, we are talking about an unwell child. It's not about her appearance, except where this could negatively affect her mental health.

I'm sure the op isn't measuring her constantly. The GP probably won't either but will physically check her tummy and posture.
At 9 the Dd will be aware her body isn't like her friends. It could be approached as 'let's go see the GP and see if they think your periods may start soon and if there's anything we can do to help you grow properly for your teen years' .

The youngest girl in the world to give birth was 5, don't be so naïve. Perhaps you should wise up yourself.

I would go back to the GP and flag that your DD has lost weight, grown taller but her stomach has grown larger so they can consider anything which could be causing it. I would also try a different GP to the one you saw last time.

I would also explain about your ex refusing to co-operate with helping your DD lose weight and eat a healthier diet. At least you will have a note of this for the future if you want to go back to court re: access. You could also ask the GP if they can refer you to a dietitian. A dietitian may be willing to share a diet plan with both you and DD's father. He may take it more seriously from a HCP? If not, it's a further record of him being aware of the issue and actively ignoring it.

I feel for you, it must be so frustrating knowing your ex is refusing to support you and your DD on this.

I know someone whose periods started at 9 and she was also being raped by a relative at that age. I very much doubt that's happening here but sadly it's not insane to suggest pregnancy is something to rule out, even in a late primary age child.

She's not the youngest person I've known to have her period either - a school friend started hers at age 8.

Oh god 😞.
I hope she’s doing well now all things considering 🥺

I have couple of friends with daughters who have started at 9, it's much more common these days.

@christmassedout

As I previously said definitely get her back to the GP. But in the meantime re clothes (I know not why you posted) could you buy her maternity clothes in small adults sizes (e.g. petite, size 6) to get her a better fit? I'd cut the labels out though if you go for that option as I'm sure if other kids spotted them they could be very mean! But hopefully would stop her belly being quite so accentuated. Poor thing, whatever the cause I hope you can get it sorted soon.

@FeedMeSantiago

thank you. I knew I’d get some comments for suggesting pregnancy but terrible things happen and we are stupid to pretend otherwise.

Obviously it’s very very unlikely but as a parent I’d want to rule out everything if I was worried about my child.

And a few girls in my son’s Y5 class started their period over the last few months.

Can you not read? If your child, regardless of diet had lost weight, grown in height, was noticeably slimmer in the face, arms and legs but her stomach was BIGGER, you wouldn’t have concerns? Because I would. If she was just generally bigger then fine, but that combination of things warrants some checks just to be sure it’s nothing else. When that happened to me it was because I had a huge tumour on my ovary. I’m not suggesting it’s likely to be the case with a child, but it’s possible and best to be sure.

My daughter was 9 when she started her periods. She was a tiny kid too. It’s not outside the realms of possibility even if it’s unlikely.

Like @crispsandnuts says this sounds like Cushings to me. It's not just overweight, from what you are describing her belly sounds drastically out of proportion. It's not fair on her, physically or mentally.

Take her to see a female GP and insist on a full blood work-up and a referral to an endo. If you can afford private, do so just for the test and diagnosis. You can switch back to NHS for prescriptions.

I'm not weighing and measuring her constantly.
I've weighed her this week for the first time since xmas, I'm going off clothing sizes she needs and then sizing charts for measurements. I've measured her occasionally and told her it's so I can work out what size to order clothes in online. It's really not constant.

Her waist measurement is just over 32 inches.
It was about 31.5 just after xmas, but she was shorter and heavier then.
She gained a LOT of weight in the six months or so leading up to xmas, last summer she was about a 27 inch waist. She's lost weight since xmas and she's taller, but her belly is larger.

I'm not making a big deal of her size, but her belly is so big now it's limiting her activities and other kids are commenting on it. She's going to notice whatever I do.

@christmassedout where are you based? I would start with a nice scan (outside only of course). Take that to a paediatrician - Portland hospital has a few good ones if you're in London or great ormond street private.

Also get her some blood tests + cortisol (8am it's important). Again if in London I can tell you where to go

I don't think GPS will take you seriously unfortunately but you can and must do what you can for your DD

Has she got purple stretch marks on her tummy? One of the main signs of cushings. A blood test will rule this out quickly

Oh your poor dd she must be so sore (or at least uncomfortable!) Just reading your descriptions of her tummy immediately puts me back to 8mo pregnant everything was a struggle. She's not but it sounds the same

When are you next due at the gp's?
Worryingly I do hope there is something they can diagnose and fix for her as it must be hellish
I agree with a pp - you are your dd's advocate. You also know her better than any doctor so keep on at them that there's something not right (although I suspect hope they'll be able to tell just from looking at her)
I think a female GP is definitely worth requesting. Don't stop
Feel better dd

If her waist measurement is 32" does that mean the measurement around her belly is more than that?

@heartbroken40 don't suppose you know roughly how much it would cost to have scans done privately?

To those saying I shouldn't go down the route of healthy eating only at our house, if her waist gets much bigger I won't be able to buy her school uniform. I think that would be more damaging.

I think it probably is like being pregnant, her belly is that shape. She's finding it difficult to run around, doesn't like most exercise because she doesn't like the feeling of it wobbling around. She's flexible enough to touch her toes but can't because she has too much belly in the way, even sitting on a chair she struggles to bend over. It's not hard like a pregnant belly, but it's that shape in her lap when she sits down. I'm not just worried about her weight.

She doesn't have stretch marks that I've seen.

That's the measurement around the biggest bit of her belly.

That's not her waist then. I think you need to clarify what it actually is you are measuring?