Page 7 | To wish people would leave me alone in public?

Xenia · 19/02/2023 21:38

An old man in a the post office queue asked me why my cardigan was so short! I just turned in nto a nice chat about his which was long and had pockets and said women seem to get less material and no pockets (although really I was thinking - why comment on a stranger's clothes)

girlfriend44 · 19/02/2023 21:40

eatdrinkandbemerry · 19/02/2023 18:46

I think you sound bizarre 🤷‍♀️
Can't people be nice anymore without people being offended !

Exactly says alot about people who moan that other people talk to them.

newjobnewstartihope · 19/02/2023 21:43

TheLostNights · 19/02/2023 11:53

I know I will get some nasty responses but I am so tired of this.
I'm 37 but look late teens/early 20's according to everyone and no, I am not proud or happy about this, it's beyond awkward and embarrassing.
Anyway, because of this maybe, I feel that when I go out alone, older adults seem to be concerned about me. Some examples are:

Was early for work one day so walked up the road into a cul drive sac. I quite easily could have been going to someone's house or posting a letter. Immediately though an older man said 'Are you OK?!'.

Sitting down on some steps to eat lunch and another man comes up to me "Are you OK?! You don't need to sit there, there are benches further up.'

Today, crossing the road. An older man shouts "Be careful!! A car nearly hit you, you were not looking.' (I was and it was miles away and I told him this).

Aibu to just want to be left alone and for people to mind their own business? If I was crying I would understand but as the above examples show, it was nothing like that.

Yep- drove into a car park once to turn round. Did three point turn. A nosy old cockwomble says to me - you can drive into that part (a turning point) and reverse it will be easier for you. I'm fine thanks I say. I think you will find it easier he says again. And I said already I'm absolutely fine turning here. 'Oh okay then I'm just saying'
FUCK OFF

JumbleSailor · 19/02/2023 21:50

Last week a man approached me on the tube asking if I was ok. Apparently I looked very unwell! He asked if I'd just come from the hospital. Getting older and I think I'm developing "resting sick face".

VirtualRealitee · 19/02/2023 22:16

Until I wrote this thread I had not made the connection that it was always men and never women.

What never, ever, ever OP, in the nearly 40 years you've been alive??

newjobnewstartihope · 19/02/2023 22:27

JumbleSailor · 19/02/2023 21:50

Last week a man approached me on the tube asking if I was ok. Apparently I looked very unwell! He asked if I'd just come from the hospital. Getting older and I think I'm developing "resting sick face".

Bet that cheered you up 😂

SueG60 · 20/02/2023 00:31

The amount of people saying they look like teenagers at 40 is making me laugh. It's very rare to meet someone and not be able to tell their age +/-5 years. People can look great at all ages, but it doesn't make them look 20-30 years younger, you can still tell their age its just that they look good for it.

Whats funniest is that most of the time if I see someone say this and you can see photos of them they always look older than their age if anything lol.

nokidshere · 20/02/2023 01:29

The amount of people saying they look like teenagers at 40 is making me laugh. It's very rare to meet someone and not be able to tell their age +/-5 years. People can look great at all ages, but it doesn't make them look 20-30 years younger, you can still tell their age its just that they look good for it.

I think part of the problem is that other people do say stuff like this. I got asked for ID in Tesco when buying wine. I'm 60 yrs old fgs, on a really really good day I might pass for someone in their 50s but that's it.

I wasn't flattered, I was annoyed and called for the manager, told him that if his staff felt they needed to ID me for their 'think 25' policy then they seriously needed more training.

However, I can see how some people might think 'oh I must look fab/younger' if it's been said to them regularly.

Trez1510 · 20/02/2023 01:37

Two weeks before my 60th birthday I was waiting in the local health centre to have some bloods taken.

A nurse came out from one of the rooms, looked at me and asked my name and who had referred me. I gave her my and my GP's name. She checked her list and said 'Nope, you're not on my list for this session!'

I asked when the next session would be and how I could ensure I was included.
She started asking me what was my estimated delivery date. I explained why I was there and we had a good laugh.

I was still giggling away to myself when my partner, who'd been parking the car joined me.

It was obvious to all concerned the nurse had been on automatic pilot and not really looking at me but it certainly made my day!

GreenistheGrass · 20/02/2023 11:11

Happy to DM a photo to anyone who wants to play 'guess my age' lol.

IncompleteSenten · 20/02/2023 11:59

I'll play

pinkyredrose · 20/02/2023 14:58

xJoy · 19/02/2023 16:53

Wow, must be so dreadful for you both, when people don't realise you're better than a single mother.

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Maybe you should re-read the post .

Original poster

TheLostNights · 20/02/2023 21:22

I must be in the really rare group then because everyone that guesses my age is at least 10 years out, often many more.
I do get what people are saying as a lot of people do just look good for their age not necessarily younger. With me, unfortunately I never outgrew the kid like face and being short and slim also doesn't help. It massively impacts my self esteem if that makes anyone feel better.

OP posts:

TheOrigRights · 21/02/2023 07:24

TheLostNights · 20/02/2023 21:22

I must be in the really rare group then because everyone that guesses my age is at least 10 years out, often many more.
I do get what people are saying as a lot of people do just look good for their age not necessarily younger. With me, unfortunately I never outgrew the kid like face and being short and slim also doesn't help. It massively impacts my self esteem if that makes anyone feel better.

How old are you?
I can't think of that last time anyone referred to or asked my age, apart from DOB for security or admin things.

Oh yes I do! It was running club with a new member, on a club run in the dark. He said he thought I was 35. I was 51. We laugh cos obviously he couldn't actually see me! This was late 2021.

Original poster

TheLostNights · 21/02/2023 11:58

I am 37.
Maybe it's just the circles I mix in but they all seem obsessed with age.

OP posts:

JudgeRudy · 25/03/2023 20:43

Sickofcoughing · 19/02/2023 12:32

I suspect you're pretty and it has nothing to do with age.

I noticed it the other way; illness left me rapidly bald and obese. Men never spoke to me. Now both of those things have been reversed and guess what - lots of helpful men around again.

@Sickofcoughing
There's been lots of talk recently around ED. I believe some women (and girls) purposely or subconsciously make themselves as fat and unattractive as they can to deter mail attention....maybe a trauma response. As I've aged I've noticed a decline in 'helpful' men but it must give you real insight to loose it then get it back.
Might be worth starting the prednisolone and getting the clippets out (only joking)

Original poster

TheLostNights · 25/03/2023 21:43

Trust me. It definitely isn't because I am pretty. I'm thinking I give off an immature 'helpless' vibe even when I am just walking around and going about my business.

OP posts:

Sickofcoughing · 27/03/2023 11:06

SueG60 · 20/02/2023 00:31

The amount of people saying they look like teenagers at 40 is making me laugh. It's very rare to meet someone and not be able to tell their age +/-5 years. People can look great at all ages, but it doesn't make them look 20-30 years younger, you can still tell their age its just that they look good for it.

Whats funniest is that most of the time if I see someone say this and you can see photos of them they always look older than their age if anything lol.

I agree it's rare but it's not impossible. I own a fitness business. Sometimes people come into trial and I'm trying to gauge who is standing in front of me to introduce relevant topics (eg. post partum, menopause etc) and I once mistook two friends who were mid 40's as a mid 30's mum and her teenage daughter. I didn't say anything but the non teenager jumped in with her age as she was clearly used to it. She told me afterwards she hates it but it's always been the way and people think her same age husband is her dad.

On the other hand yes some people are completely delusional.

emptythelitterbox · 27/03/2023 11:20

Sickofcoughing · 27/03/2023 11:06

I agree it's rare but it's not impossible. I own a fitness business. Sometimes people come into trial and I'm trying to gauge who is standing in front of me to introduce relevant topics (eg. post partum, menopause etc) and I once mistook two friends who were mid 40's as a mid 30's mum and her teenage daughter. I didn't say anything but the non teenager jumped in with her age as she was clearly used to it. She told me afterwards she hates it but it's always been the way and people think her same age husband is her dad.

On the other hand yes some people are completely delusional.

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Not impossible at all.

It's genetics and avoiding the sun.
I don't look like a teen but do look younger. Doctors have commented on the quality of my skin so I know they're not just being nice.