To wish people would leave me alone in public?

[TheLostNights]

I know I will get some nasty responses but I am so tired of this.
I'm 37 but look late teens/early 20's according to everyone and no, I am not proud or happy about this, it's beyond awkward and embarrassing.
Anyway, because of this maybe, I feel that when I go out alone, older adults seem to be concerned about me. Some examples are:

Was early for work one day so walked up the road into a cul drive sac. I quite easily could have been going to someone's house or posting a letter. Immediately though an older man said 'Are you OK?!'.

Sitting down on some steps to eat lunch and another man comes up to me "Are you OK?! You don't need to sit there, there are benches further up.'

Today, crossing the road. An older man shouts "Be careful!! A car nearly hit you, you were not looking.' (I was and it was miles away and I told him this).

Aibu to just want to be left alone and for people to mind their own business? If I was crying I would understand but as the above examples show, it was nothing like that.

I feel you OP.

Only this week I had a man ask me if I was lost. This was in London, outside Harrods. I was taking a moment to catch my breath and get my bearings before heading off to my next destination. Not in the least bit lost. I don't live in London, but am there 3 or 4 times a year, and it's been that way for the better part of 20 years.

A week or two ago I went to a Queen tribute concert at my local theatre. Went on my own, as I've always been really comfortable with that. A man, in his late 60s I'd say, ended up sitting next to me and yacked my ear off constantly. Even when I started actively turning away and giving monosyllabic answers, he would NOT get the hint.

I don’t believe anyone looks late teens at 37.

However, I don’t deny some men do this to teens and women. It’s because they’re creepy AF, not because of you apparently appearing younger. It’s perfectly normal for a late teen, early 20s woman to walk/eat alone, so why would it?

Every so often we have these, ‘I look like a teen threads’. None has yet posted evidence as far as I know. 😬

A few years ago I was mistaken for a zygote. I was so insulted.

Ditto!

I look very young for my age and get lots of unwanted attention from men or talked down to a lot.

I’ve notice other women my age don’t get as much unwanted attention from men even though they are attractive and it annoys me that they’re approaching me simply because they think I’m young and more naive.

The nearly getting hit by a car stands out to me though - are you sure you’re not unknowingly putting yourself in vulnerable positions and people are genuinely concerned?

It's probably got less to do with you looking young and more to do with blokes just always seem to think we needs or want their input. In everything.

Parking the car for example. Perfectly well. Some bloke just has to to to 'guide you in'. Except you didn't need help and he's now in the fucking way.

You're in the shop looking at the shelves and they think you give a shit what they think is the best brand of beans.

They come from the same stock as the ones who tell you to smile.

You’re giving too much headspace to randoms. You can’t control what other people do, you can only learn to not give a fuck about it.

Do you think may appear sad, lost or vulnerable.

I look for my age but I don't get those response.

OP, totally get this!

I look terribly young for my age, I have the biggest baby face ever (still got the wrinkles mind) and i get the same comments all the time!

Most recent - ooh are you enjoying half term off school?! (I'm mid 30s with a house a job a car)

I get IDd for lottery tickets, red bull, paracetamol. Its humiliating.

For me, it's more of a feeling that people don't think you are a capable adult and treat you like a child. I also worry I'll never be taken seriously at work.

Looking young for your age is one thing but people treating you like a child is not fun.

i was ID’d for lottery tickets into middle age. It’s not a blessing. I looked like a teen in my mid 30s so that when I was pregnant the midwives kept asking me to join the teen pregnancy support group. I did get approached quite a lot sometimes with ridiculously patronising comments but other times just people looking out for me because I’d be in a situation a teen wouldn’t normally be in. I’m now of an age where I am invisible and I could be getting attacked in the street and no one would bat an eye. There’s never a happy mediumz

I look very young for my age as well. I often feel I am underestimated because of it. People talk to me like I am just starting out in the world and I was practically ganged up on for not wanting to eat lunch. They were getting concerned when I kept saying No.

I don't need fucking babysitting.

I long for people to mind their own business. Especially in working environments.

I was once escorted across the road by a an older man. He was my Dad to be fair.

Every so often we have these, ‘I look like a teen threads’. None has yet posted evidence as far as I know. 😬

Well, it IS an anonymous forum. People aren't posting under their real names. It would be hard to post a photo of your face without revealing your identity. I don't think I look like a teenager now, but even if I did - I've admitted to being GC on here. The last thing I'm going to do is post a photo of my face because being outed as GC in my profession would be career suicide.

I KNOW some people have posted photos of their face and then usually thought better of it but it wouldn't be me.

Same. I went to buy a carpet in my mid twenties - with my own money and everything! The middle aged guy selling it to me says "Parents letting you decorate your room are they?". Rage inducing.

There are benefits however.
when answering the door to irritating sales people and religious types being able to get away with saying my mum and dad aren’t in was best excuse ever.

and paying half fares on the bus until I was almost 30 without being questioned.

Maybe you naturally have a nervous resting facial expression? I have hardcore resting bitch face & couldn’t understand for years why people kept asking me if i was upset or angry-I wasn’t! It’s just my neutral expression! Once I had a job interview & the woman said I should try to smile and look friendly, I thought I was smiling!

My sister gets this. She’s very slight and petite. She went to a yoga class recently and someone asked her why she wasn’t in school. She’s 33! She also heard people loudly talking about her in a cafe;m, assuming she’s a teen Mum. She just finds it funny though.

This happens to me all the time, and yes some people do look young for their age.

It's only ever men doing it to women. (Yes woman approach other women but in a completely different way.) No man would ever approach another man this way.

Looking younger than you are doesn't mean you think you look gorgeous. People assumed I was a teenager till I was early 30s because I'm extremely short, flat chested, and have really bad adult acne.

I think the only times I have been approached in this way, I have looked vulnerable or in a state or whatever (e.g. when the car park machine has defeated me and tipped me over the edge I was just about clinging on to).

I hate it because it's the last thing I want when I'm not coping - I generally withdraw into myself. But you have to get on with life.

It has shown me that people are generally kind. I am 52 and probably look 52.

I used to get this. I remember a holiday alone to Mexico and walking up the beach each day one day a man said I could find it easier if took my sandals off and later when they were off another man said why don't you put your sandals on there are stone ahead. They were just trying to be nice but can't they just leave women alone to take their own decisions?

This doesn't sound like an age thing it sounds like you live in a small village up north thing

How dare anyone walk into a cul de sac. I do it quite frequently when I am out for a walk. I live in a cul de sac and people walk their dogs down here. What on earth is odd about it?

I don’t look particularly young for my age but seem to attract ‘helpful’ comments too. I think maybe I have a resting confused face!

That is my goal in life!