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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU to tell this man to back off shouting at the pharmacist assistant?

356 replies

SurferRona · 18/02/2023 22:44

I was in a large pharmacists earlier to pick up antibiotics and a man being served by an assistant in front of me suddenly started shouting at her telling her to ‘say please, if you want me to pay’ that ‘you don’t just say that’ll be £21.01, you say please. Now say please and I’ll pay’, ‘I expect you to be courteous and say please to me, say please and I’ll pay’…. Properly angry. The woman was youngish and looked scared, and didn’t seem to know how to respond, or what to do. So I called across to him to back off, there was no need for that, couldn’t he see he was scaring her? He then turns on me telling me to keep out of it, nothing to do with me. I responded again saying it was to do with me as he was bullying a scared young woman, which was also racist (assistant looked to be of south Asian descent), there no need for it, and he was clearly just having a go at a young woman just trying to do her job. The male pharmacy manager then came over and the man quietened down. He then kept saying he wasn’t racist- but I thought it was as he wouldn’t have behaved like that to a white man serving him, and did quieten down once the male pharmacist came across. WIBU for intervening like that? My other half keeps telling me to keep my neb out of things like that, but I just kept thinking what if it were my daughter…. How else should I have dealt with it? If at all? I have no idea if I just made it worse for the young woman assistant☹️

OP posts:
UdoU · 21/02/2023 12:51

GoodChat · 21/02/2023 12:25

@UdoU 'please' makes no sense to add to your example

Exactly, it doesn't always make sense, so people saying this man was right about a brown woman not bowing and scraping saying please is ridiculous.

BankOfDave · 21/02/2023 13:03

Can we please shut up with the endless wittering on about please and thank you being the only indicators of politeness, irrespective of tone or intent or language used etc. It’s deliberately obtuse to continue on and on AND ON about it when clearly this thread is about a man’s verbal abuse to a sales asst. It is irrelevant whether they were polite or not, his response was unjustified and unacceptable.

Thank you.

GoodChat · 21/02/2023 14:43

BankOfDave · 21/02/2023 13:03

Can we please shut up with the endless wittering on about please and thank you being the only indicators of politeness, irrespective of tone or intent or language used etc. It’s deliberately obtuse to continue on and on AND ON about it when clearly this thread is about a man’s verbal abuse to a sales asst. It is irrelevant whether they were polite or not, his response was unjustified and unacceptable.

Thank you.

Ta.

AutumnDaysConkers · 21/02/2023 15:05

toomuchlaundry · 21/02/2023 12:46

But please isn’t needed in the phrase ‘that will be £2.50, is there anything else I can help you with’ but one poster is adamant it is

Of course it's needed. You put the please after the £2.50.
Seriously it's just basic manners.

AutumnDaysConkers · 21/02/2023 15:08

BankOfDave · 21/02/2023 13:03

Can we please shut up with the endless wittering on about please and thank you being the only indicators of politeness, irrespective of tone or intent or language used etc. It’s deliberately obtuse to continue on and on AND ON about it when clearly this thread is about a man’s verbal abuse to a sales asst. It is irrelevant whether they were polite or not, his response was unjustified and unacceptable.

Thank you.

No one has said please and Thankyou are the only ways to be polite. There are obviously other ways. However please and Thankyou is the most basic politeness that should come to you naturally.

chocolatebrownie123 · 21/02/2023 16:00

Exactly that @BankOfDave

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