To walk away from my MIL when she does this

[Fluttershyy]

So my MIL is a bit of an odd one and doesn’t take no for an answer, as in she just goes on and on and on and on and only tends to get the point when someone looses their rag with her (DH).

2 things this week that she just gone on and on and on about, the most trivial is the one I’ll share here because I just don’t get why she does it

made cheesy veg muffins for my kids (toddler and pre schooler so young). They came out well if I say so myself and were a low effort high yield meal that will do a few lunches and snacks. Great. MIL was over at lunch offered her some, she asked what they were, told her (simple concept right). Then eating them, it was like she was eating rotten fruit, the face on her, she even spat it in the bin and then asked what was in it, explained, then she spent literally the next 5-10 mins disagreeing with me that their primary ingredient was potato, it wasn’t I made them, but it was her hill to die on, she wouldn’t let it go and was insistent they had potatoes in. She doesn’t have a potato allergy or anything she was just insistent they were potato based. In the end I had to say sure whatever walk away. Cue a few hrs later, she brings up the fact I lied that the muffins had potatoes in and proceeded to lecture me how I must have prepped the pots incorrectly and how I must do it instead. I ended up just saying they didn’t have potatoes in and walk away (probably huffily).

what the f is up with that firstly?

Walking away is the best thing to do right, she won’t back down otherwise

Are you reading the same thread as everyone else, @TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl?

Or have you simply decided that you need to demonstrate the fabulous accuracy of your user name to full effect on every post you come upon?

OP, in your position I’d just say, “Yes, whatever. You’re right again.” Then I’d turn the conversation to something like the weather. If she bring it up again I’d repeat what I’d just said.

I couldn’t be arsed to engage. Don’t get cross, get indifferent.

I do not cry or shake if I taste horrible food served to meBut I can't help but sometimes pull an involuntarily disgusted face if tasting something I don't like. I'm not even aware I'm doing it - It's only been pointed out to me from other people.

I presume the non potato potato muffins was just one example of the OP's mother in law and her always rightness.

I am married to a man who can turn absolutely anything into an argument and can never be wrong. As a result it's easier to just not say anything ever other than pleasantries you might exchange with a stranger at a bus stop. Sad.

I’ve got a MIL like this!! Absolutely insistent that she knows the answer to everything. She even makes stuff up and says it with absolute certainty.

The most annoying thing is that she joins in every conversation she hears and is very hard of hearing, so I can never just say something quick in passing to DH. Something like “DH, can you pop in the sports shop please and buy DD a new swimming hat?” turns into a long pointless conversation where she asks me what I’m planning to do with the sausages (her misheard “swimming hat”) she thinks I just asked DH to buy 🤦🏼‍♀️

On the plus side at least yours does childcare 😂

In your opinion. I personally I find your reply a bit high on the aggression front.

Sounds like my late MIL. I would just say -actually no, but if you say so. Or similar. Every time, and then change the subject.

Judging by some of the comments on here there’s a significant proportion of the population who share OP’s MIL’s sense of what is rational

Sounds exactly like my mother - you have my sympathy!

Keyansier is the guy who couldn’t bear anything from a Chinese takeaway and had to pick at it then not say goodbye to his hosts.

So might not be an objective judge here.

Yanbu, OP. Mil sounds a very difficult customer

She sounds unhappy & under confident, I'd have pity on her tbh.

off topic but cheesy veg muffin sound like something my kids would eat. Can you point me at a recipe?

Have these people also told you to grow up, because that's what small children do. Of course you can control yourself. FFS.

I used this one and then finely chopped some left over veg from dinner the night before, made sure there was no extra water in them (don’t judge me lol) tossed it in a little flour and folded it into the mix

www.amummytoo.co.uk/easy-cheese-muffins/

That's the sort of thing a 3 year old would do.

While there's nothing wrong with disliking food, a grown adult should be able to control their facial expressions and remain polite.

And at what stage do you add the potato

You need to channel your inner Jim Carey...

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=alrighty+then&client=safari&hl=en-gb&prmd=ivn&sxsrf=AJOqlzWrAQgawQOssWWSOCCZ5WNYsegeg:1676748789532&source=lnms&tbm=vid&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjY5ejj559AhWILsAKHQf3BCMQQAUoAnoECAIQAg&biw=375&bih=630&dpr=3#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:63b15539,vid:0tJGk4ofc18

What does she she say if you ask her 'are you accusing me of lying?'

@Keyansier

its called manners

try and work on it - screwing up your face and spitting out food cos it ain’t to your taste is very rude. Not to mention totally unnecessary.

Btw you don’t have to say ‘personal/ly’ with ‘I’ every time. ‘I’ is enough.

Random and possibly rude of me to point this out, but hey 🤷🏼‍♀️

Have a day off…

I am personally not able to do as such. As previously explained, my facial expressions are involuntary and unnoticed by me and only made aware to me by other people, mainly my DP.

The imaginary one 😅

And at what stage do you add the potato

😂😂😂👏👏👏
Brilliant @bussteward

Do you really walk around grimacing and gurning without being aware of it?

Do you have any self awareness at all?
Do people cross the street when they see you coming? Move seats on the bus?
So many questions...

If she's bringing her own food from home then chances are she has sensory issues with food.
It also sounds like she has issues with social cues.
She is also hung up on 'being right'.
She cannot see things from someone else's perspective.
She seems to think because you have more than one child than she is allowed 'have' one to live in her house, as if they were kittens or pieces of cake.
There's something going on here. I'd query neurodiversity.