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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To walk away from my MIL when she does this

227 replies

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 16:55

So my MIL is a bit of an odd one and doesn’t take no for an answer, as in she just goes on and on and on and on and only tends to get the point when someone looses their rag with her (DH).

2 things this week that she just gone on and on and on about, the most trivial is the one I’ll share here because I just don’t get why she does it

made cheesy veg muffins for my kids (toddler and pre schooler so young). They came out well if I say so myself and were a low effort high yield meal that will do a few lunches and snacks. Great. MIL was over at lunch offered her some, she asked what they were, told her (simple concept right). Then eating them, it was like she was eating rotten fruit, the face on her, she even spat it in the bin and then asked what was in it, explained, then she spent literally the next 5-10 mins disagreeing with me that their primary ingredient was potato, it wasn’t I made them, but it was her hill to die on, she wouldn’t let it go and was insistent they had potatoes in. She doesn’t have a potato allergy or anything she was just insistent they were potato based. In the end I had to say sure whatever walk away. Cue a few hrs later, she brings up the fact I lied that the muffins had potatoes in and proceeded to lecture me how I must have prepped the pots incorrectly and how I must do it instead. I ended up just saying they didn’t have potatoes in and walk away (probably huffily).

what the f is up with that firstly?

Walking away is the best thing to do right, she won’t back down otherwise

OP posts:
BalloonInvestigator · 18/02/2023 19:39

Do you really walk around grimacing and gurning without being aware of it?
😆

Kennykenkencat · 18/02/2023 19:40

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 18/02/2023 18:23

Do people really eat food they hate to spare feelings?! Why?

Just say “I’m sorry I don’t like that, it’s not to my taste”

It’s more that as an adult you don’t make grimacing faces when you have eaten something you don’t like and then proceed to tell the person who made the food that they made it with an ingredient they didn’t and won’t take no for an answer when they say otherwise.
Lifes too short to argue with stupid

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 19:42

Seaweed42 · 18/02/2023 19:39

If she's bringing her own food from home then chances are she has sensory issues with food.
It also sounds like she has issues with social cues.
She is also hung up on 'being right'.
She cannot see things from someone else's perspective.
She seems to think because you have more than one child than she is allowed 'have' one to live in her house, as if they were kittens or pieces of cake.
There's something going on here. I'd query neurodiversity.

No she doesn’t have sensory issues, she’s just been rude about my food/ the food we have in our house before, so for the most part I don’t cook for her. She even brought some bread with her for toast as a snack (shop bought) so I think some of it is making a point

OP posts:
AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 18/02/2023 19:46

Keyansier
Ok, well I can't help not disliking food I don't like

I can't help feeling that you are a little confused.

(Or maybe a lot confused.)

Milky4 · 18/02/2023 19:48

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 18:53

Ok, well I can't help not disliking food I don't like and being unable to disguise my own facial expressions, sorry that's seems to have upset some people.

😂😂😂😂you're funny. You're on a wind up!

Zwellers · 18/02/2023 19:48

Keyansier. As a adult there is no need to make disgusted faces on tasting a food you don't like. They rest of your posts just show you are rude bully. Grow up.

Lachimolala · 18/02/2023 19:51

Seaweed42 · 18/02/2023 19:39

If she's bringing her own food from home then chances are she has sensory issues with food.
It also sounds like she has issues with social cues.
She is also hung up on 'being right'.
She cannot see things from someone else's perspective.
She seems to think because you have more than one child than she is allowed 'have' one to live in her house, as if they were kittens or pieces of cake.
There's something going on here. I'd query neurodiversity.

Pardon lol?

I must say as an autistic woman I’ve never harboured any desire to steal someone else’s child simply because they’ve got more than one.

dawnc27 · 18/02/2023 19:53

This reply has been deleted

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Rogue1001MNer · 18/02/2023 19:58

'E's not worf it @dawnc27

He was in tears at Rihanna's performance at the superbowl last week
Not happy tears
He cries if he perceives someone's looking at him funny. Or not looking at him enough. Or something 🥱

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 18/02/2023 20:00

Rogue1001MNer · 18/02/2023 19:58

'E's not worf it @dawnc27

He was in tears at Rihanna's performance at the superbowl last week
Not happy tears
He cries if he perceives someone's looking at him funny. Or not looking at him enough. Or something 🥱

Rogue1001MNer
He cries if he perceives someone's looking at him funny. Or not looking at him enough. Or something 🥱

Especially something!

BIWI · 18/02/2023 20:02

JFC @Keyansier

Ok, well I can't help not disliking food I don't like and being unable to disguise my own facial expressions, sorry that's seems to have upset some people

You're 28 years old. You really do need to work harder at this adult thing.

And stop saying sorry when you're clearly not sorry at all.

user1501270679 · 18/02/2023 20:02

Gosh. I really, really, REALLY hope the next time somebody claims on a MIL/DIL thread that MILs are always considered 'in the wrong' on MN, somebody links to this thread.

What a bin fire.

HelloBunny · 18/02/2023 20:11

I get you, OP. My mum does this. She’s deliberately contrary. It’s maddening! Always over something so trivial. I think it’s an attention thing.

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 20:18

HelloBunny · 18/02/2023 20:11

I get you, OP. My mum does this. She’s deliberately contrary. It’s maddening! Always over something so trivial. I think it’s an attention thing.

Yeah I think to an extent it must be, like the time she went around saying my house didn’t have windows

OP posts:
GettingStuffed · 18/02/2023 20:18

Sounds like DH, I learnt a long time ago to ignore him when he's like it

ferneytorro · 18/02/2023 20:18

dontputitthere · 18/02/2023 17:25

@Keyansier well what do you think happened?

To be honest if you think the op is lying not sure why you're even posting...

To wind us all up, he has "form" (and a distinctive user name).

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 18/02/2023 20:21

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 20:18

Yeah I think to an extent it must be, like the time she went around saying my house didn’t have windows

What?!

RightOnTheEdge · 18/02/2023 20:21

I think you must have the patience of a saint OP to just walk away. I couldn't have put up with her calling me a liar!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 18/02/2023 20:22

What on earth does your partner say about his mum, @Fluttershyy? What was she like when he was growing up?

Cherrysoup · 18/02/2023 20:23

ReadersD1gest · 18/02/2023 19:38

Do you really walk around grimacing and gurning without being aware of it?

Do you have any self awareness at all?
Do people cross the street when they see you coming? Move seats on the bus?
So many questions...

🤣🤣

HelloBunny · 18/02/2023 20:23

My mum brings her own food, too!
No restaurant can ever satisfy her, either...

Cherrysoup · 18/02/2023 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Superb! 🤣

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 20:40

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 18/02/2023 20:21

What?!

We bought our first house (she wasn’t happy) came to visit and then when she told people about it, she told people that our house didn’t have windows. It has a normal amount of windows. I think it was a put down, or a dig, or maybe I’m a cynic

OP posts:
Thomasina79 · 18/02/2023 20:40

Your cheesy muffin sounds delicious can I have one.

seriously she is a rude cow and I agree it’s best not to engage with her.

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 20:42

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 18/02/2023 20:22

What on earth does your partner say about his mum, @Fluttershyy? What was she like when he was growing up?

Yeah she was like it growing up, most of it was like insisting old wives tales, like socks to bed cuts of circulation to your brain, and keeping fruit in the fridge gives you a cold and other really daft things

OP posts: