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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't have a middle name

235 replies

NotMyCircusNotMyProblem · 17/02/2023 18:54

Firstly, this is a bit light hearted and I've not lost any sleep over this, nor will I ever but, my parents didn't give me a middle name.

I have elder siblings who both have middle names.

As a child, I did question my mum as to why, but she just brushed it off saying, your name was lovely enough and you didn't need a middle name.

Im now in my 50s and I've never given it much thought until recently - why didn't I get a middle name? Were my parents that fed up with kids they couldn't be bothered to think of one? Did they not think I would feel the odd one out because I don't have one? I can't ask my parents now, they've both passed away.

Maybe middle names in the 60s were not such a big thing then... although all my peers and friends,,, everyone I know seem to have middle names.

So, do you have a middle name, how old are you and AIBU in feeling unloved at not having a middle name?

OP posts:
Staffielove23 · 17/02/2023 21:48

I struggle to see the actual point of a middle name to be honest.

Dacadactyl · 17/02/2023 21:50

Are your siblings Baptised and you aren't?

That's the only reason I can think of.

TitoMojito · 17/02/2023 21:50

bluelollipop99 · 17/02/2023 18:56

YANBU - everyone should have at least one middle name !

Why?

Tessisme · 17/02/2023 21:53

Neither my sister nor I were given a middle name. But our brother was for some reason. I haven't given my children middle names. Their surname is double barrelled and it was all starting to sound a bit ridiculous!

RedRiverShore3 · 17/02/2023 21:55

I wasn't baptised and do have a middle name, DH was baptised and doesn't, DS hasn't got one and hasn't been baptised but it wouldn't have crossed my mind if there was a connection between the two or not

LunaTheCat · 17/02/2023 21:57

Born in 60’s and neither me nor my sister have middle names.

Manicule · 17/02/2023 21:59

I was born in the 60s and don’t have a middle name. Neither does my (slightly younger) sister. Neither did my father (born in the 1920s), nor any of his 6 siblings.

My mum did have one, though. She came from a family that was quite big on middle names so I don’t know quite why they failed to give them to me and my dsis.

My SIL gave her DD her own name as a middle name, but then she is a fully-fledged narcissist…

Tomso · 17/02/2023 22:01

I have no middle name and a plain first name. Then had a plain surname by marriage. Eldest sibling had a middle name and was christened. Then it stopped. I'm the third. All born sixties/seventies. I don't think we were cherished DC like mine 😄

Tomso · 17/02/2023 22:02

Actually though. My parents don't have middle names thinking about it, born 1940s.

JMSA · 17/02/2023 22:05

I have a middle name. Not only are middle names pointless, but mine is also bloody ugly! At least it wasn't my first name though.

Dacadactyl · 17/02/2023 22:06

RedRiverShore3 · 17/02/2023 21:55

I wasn't baptised and do have a middle name, DH was baptised and doesn't, DS hasn't got one and hasn't been baptised but it wouldn't have crossed my mind if there was a connection between the two or not

The only reason I say that about Baptism is because my sister and I were both given our Godmothers first names as middle names. There is a trend in our family of giving your children the first name of their Godmother/father. I was wondering if it could be something similar in OPs family.

savvy7 · 17/02/2023 22:06

Yanbu. I don't have a middle name and I do feel like I missed out, to the point I've considered changing my name to add one of my choosing.

ElfAndSafetyBored · 17/02/2023 22:06

I have one middle name but my brother has two and I’ve always been irrationally jealous. Why did he get one more name than me?
But it was because his middle name (a family tradition) clashed with his first name so needed a buffer in between.
That’s what my mum told me anyway 🤣

GirlOfTudor · 17/02/2023 22:06

My son doesn't have one. My husband's culture doesn't use them so he didn't care either way. I thought about using a family name but couldn't find one I liked enough. I also saw it from the perspective of my profession that involves searching for people's legal names. Those with middle names often have multiple records as they sometimes use their middle name and sometimes don't. Even more complicated when you add in a surname change 🙄

If you want a middle name, there's no harm in choosing one you really love and adding it to your legal name now!

JMSA · 17/02/2023 22:06

I was born in the 70s. Me and my other 70s sibling have middle names. Our 80s born siblings do not. And they're totally fine with it because why wouldn't they be Confused

Timesawastin · 17/02/2023 22:07

bluelollipop99 · 17/02/2023 18:56

YANBU - everyone should have at least one middle name !

What a silly attitude. My late mother and her 3 siblings all had just one.
I have two middle names (thanks Dad🙄) and it's a pain.

nokidshere · 17/02/2023 22:10

I've got 5 siblings and none of us have a middle name. All born in the 60s. We all have really short names too.

Belledan1 · 17/02/2023 22:10

Born early 70s. Both my sibling and I dont. One Job I worked in you had to have 3 letter initials for logging work. I gave myself the middle name Natalie then as I wanted to be called that.

Colourinsidethelines · 17/02/2023 22:11

I was born in the 80s, I have no middle name! I am the eldest and DM always said it took them days to come up with my first name and couldn’t think of another. I have 2 younger siblings and neither of them got a middle name either because I didn’t!

ColdHandsHotHead · 17/02/2023 22:12

I've got the sort of middle name that people find hilarious.

It sucks.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/02/2023 22:14

Aw. My ex FIL, who was born in 1930s didn’t have a middle name, and was always a bit sad about it even until he died, I think. Both his brothers did, like your sisters. Does seem a bit mean to give to some and not others.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/02/2023 22:15

My middle name is one of those “joining” middle names that clearly had no meaning for my parents, but they just shoved in. And was also an incredibly common middle name at the time. Like the “Grace”/ “May”/ “Ray” of its time .

Tomso · 17/02/2023 22:17

Anne or Jane?

Dellaandthedealer · 17/02/2023 22:18

I don’t have a middle name, both my sisters do though. Born in fifties. Not the least bit bothered! My children don’t have middle names either.

Original poster
NotMyCircusNotMyProblem · 17/02/2023 22:19

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 17/02/2023 21:26

Easy to give yourself a middle name if you fancy one OP. In fact, you could have more than one - go for it!

Ooh... maybe I should... now what should I pick... what goes with notmycircusnotmy problem? Grin

OP posts: