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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't have a middle name

235 replies

NotMyCircusNotMyProblem · 17/02/2023 18:54

Firstly, this is a bit light hearted and I've not lost any sleep over this, nor will I ever but, my parents didn't give me a middle name.

I have elder siblings who both have middle names.

As a child, I did question my mum as to why, but she just brushed it off saying, your name was lovely enough and you didn't need a middle name.

Im now in my 50s and I've never given it much thought until recently - why didn't I get a middle name? Were my parents that fed up with kids they couldn't be bothered to think of one? Did they not think I would feel the odd one out because I don't have one? I can't ask my parents now, they've both passed away.

Maybe middle names in the 60s were not such a big thing then... although all my peers and friends,,, everyone I know seem to have middle names.

So, do you have a middle name, how old are you and AIBU in feeling unloved at not having a middle name?

OP posts:
BashfulClam · 17/02/2023 20:52

Both me and my brother don’t have middle names. My mum didn’t want them.

Mamai90 · 17/02/2023 20:52

My dad was one of ten. He was born in the 40s and only him and another sibling have a middle name. We've often wondered why, as they were all very much loved so it's not that.

Babymamma192 · 17/02/2023 20:52

I was born in the 90s and don't have a middle name. My older sister and younger brother both have a middle name though and they were both born in the 90s too.

My mum always just says that my name is lovely enough without a middle name and she couldn't think of a name that goes with my first name.

Both my dds have middle names and if I had another baby then I would give them a middle name too.

honeylulu · 17/02/2023 20:53

My husband and his two closest siblings each have two middle names but his youngest brother only has one. His mum said they'd used 9 names before they got to him and just ran out of ones they liked! Thinking about that isn't Louis one of Prince George's names and it got recycled for the younger brother?

I'm jealous of H's two middle names. Our kids have two middle names!

Conversely my best friend from school had one middle name. Her 3 younger brothers had two. Her parents were very much of the view that boys are more important. She didn't mind - I bloody well would have done!

To be honest though there's no real point to middle names. They're not needed and rarely used! Mine is Anne by the way, not that anyone will be interested!

wannadisc0 · 17/02/2023 20:55

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

AudTheDeepMinded · 17/02/2023 20:55

I have three DS, the two older have one middle name and the youngest has two, to make up for being the smallest! (and also, one of them was after Grandpa, which he pretended to be unfussed about but I could tell was really very chuffed!).

evilharpy · 17/02/2023 20:57

I had two, and hated them both, so changed my name by deed poll to remove them so they didn't appear on things like my passport or driving licence. I prefer having no middle name to the ones I used to have.

I also despise my first name (always have done since childhood) and wish to god I'd changed that at the same time. Unfortunately it doesn't shorten or have an obvious nickname. My parents did a pretty shit job of naming me.

My daughter has a middle name that was carefully chosen as it has lots of options for nicknames/diminutives etc, so she has options if she turns out to dislike her first name. Luckily she seems to like her name.

Tomblibooz · 17/02/2023 20:59

90s kid and no middle name. You also can't shorten my first name so always felt left out that I didn't have a Sunday name or alternative for certificates 😂

My granny had 5 middle names, and went by an alternative version of her first name. When I was really little, I used to wonder how many times she'd been married to get all the names!

Jay3004 · 17/02/2023 20:59

I’m the eldest and have no middle name but my younger brother does. All my family have middle names, I’m literally the only person I know that doesn’t. And my first name is only 3 letters, I often joke that my parents just couldn’t be bothered!

ladycarlotta · 17/02/2023 21:00

To be honest though there's no real point to middle names. They're not needed and rarely used!

Ooh, I feel quite romantic about middle names. Like they add another little dimension, they're the space for something a bit meaningful - a nod to family history, loved ones, etc, or maybe for the name that was a bit too out-there to be a first name.

Mine is a nice family surname, and I really regret not giving my daughter the same one as it generally goes to eldest daughters. But she does have a relative's first name as her MN instead.

Nobody needs one, but they are a fun bonus.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 17/02/2023 21:02

I was born in 80s and don’t have one. Neither does my sibling. I think I’d feel a bit left out if they did and I didn’t. I had an unusual surname so my name was unique but now that I changed my surname when married it’s quite a common first and surname.

RedRiverShore3 · 17/02/2023 21:03

As mine is just a boring one, very much of the time, I don't feel very romantic about it and there is certainly no family history.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 17/02/2023 21:05

I don’t think middle names are that important but I gave my child two. What I don’t get is people who when naming a child will change their preferred first name to the middle name as the whole name flows better in that order. First names are much more important than the flow of a name that will never be said.

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 21:05

Mine isn’t in the least bit exciting or romantic. Just a name. No family meaning or anything. Pointless really.

tigger1001 · 17/02/2023 21:10

I have a middle name but rarely use it. Only on official documents that ask for your middle name and need to match your birth certificate. Don't usually include it in my initials either.

Neither of my children have middle names.

Oblomov23 · 17/02/2023 21:10

Dh doesn't. Ds's don't. I do. Can't see the point myself.

KangarooKenny · 17/02/2023 21:12

My DF is the third/last child and he is the only one not to have a middle name.

ThinWomansBrain · 17/02/2023 21:15

Born early 60's - my siblings (older than me) both have one middle name; I have two, so three forenames all together.
My parents each have one, my mum used her middle name rather than her first name, because she preferred it.

Rec0veringAcademic · 17/02/2023 21:15

Not a 60's child, but both my parents had middle names (after various relatives or because my grandma had the wrong idea of fashion). No middle names for me, enough of the trans-generational bullshit already, they said. (That and there were no female relatives they felt obliged to enoug.)
Embrace your unique single first name, I say. Named after noone but yourself.

drspouse · 17/02/2023 21:15

DH doesn't (he's an only child so no siblings treated differently). I once had to fill in an online form with John Noteveryonehasamiddlename Smith.
He doesn't know why his parents didn't give him one and they are dead so we can't ask!

wellpaddedintherear · 17/02/2023 21:17

My grandad was the eldest,then two sisters and a brother
only one sister had a middle name-none of the others did
he went on to have four kids-my dad is the youngest-no middle names between them
his siblings gave their kids a middle name each
im the eldest of four-first 3 have a middle name beginning with a D,but the youngest brothers starts with an A
my mother couldn’t explain it!
I have 6 kids with 16 middle names between them (named after dead rellies-there was a lot of them)
my brothers kid has just the one middle name

my fil had one middle name
my mil was called Alice Louisa* surname but when she was about three weeks old,her mum changed her mind on her name so swapped them round but didn’t change the birth certificate
its caused endless confusion over the years
both their kids have one middle name each and my dp’s kids have two each
(*not real name)

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 17/02/2023 21:26

Easy to give yourself a middle name if you fancy one OP. In fact, you could have more than one - go for it!

dicdicnurse · 17/02/2023 21:38

I don't have a middle name and nor does my sibling. My DM and her brother didn't have one either so I guess that's why she didn't think it important for us. I used to be really cross about it when I was younger! Not bothered in the slightest as an adult. Both my two have middle names though.

Staffielove23 · 17/02/2023 21:43

Didn’t give my dad daughter a middle name. Didn’t see the point. I have two and it’s a pain having to write them down on forms.

Staffielove23 · 17/02/2023 21:46

Daughter not dad*

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