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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I don't have a middle name

235 replies

NotMyCircusNotMyProblem · 17/02/2023 18:54

Firstly, this is a bit light hearted and I've not lost any sleep over this, nor will I ever but, my parents didn't give me a middle name.

I have elder siblings who both have middle names.

As a child, I did question my mum as to why, but she just brushed it off saying, your name was lovely enough and you didn't need a middle name.

Im now in my 50s and I've never given it much thought until recently - why didn't I get a middle name? Were my parents that fed up with kids they couldn't be bothered to think of one? Did they not think I would feel the odd one out because I don't have one? I can't ask my parents now, they've both passed away.

Maybe middle names in the 60s were not such a big thing then... although all my peers and friends,,, everyone I know seem to have middle names.

So, do you have a middle name, how old are you and AIBU in feeling unloved at not having a middle name?

OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 17/02/2023 19:08

My twin and I don't have middle names. Difference between us is my sibling has a really long name, which they can shorten into various other names. Mine is a one syllable, 4 letter name. 😐

LizzieBrooks · 17/02/2023 19:09

I was born late 70s and don’t have a middle name. My mum hated hers so much she said she didn’t want to inflict that on me or my sister. Don’t know why she couldn’t just choose a nice one. 😕

IhateJan22 · 17/02/2023 19:11

I don’t have one or my siblings, all my friends did, I was born in the 80s. It’s never bothered me much but I did wonder why when I was at school.

CoffeeAndCreativity · 17/02/2023 19:11

I'm 40 and I don't have a middle name, my brother doesn't either.

OldTinHat · 17/02/2023 19:12

I'm in my 50s and don't have one either. My parents both have middle names, saw no point in them so didn't give me one.

I gave my DC middle names though!

ItsLoudInMyMind · 17/02/2023 19:12

bluelollipop99 · 17/02/2023 18:56

YANBU - everyone should have at least one middle name !

Why? They are rarely used.

DM and DF both hate their middle names so none of us were given middle names. We are 70’s born.

Weirdly though me and my siblings have all given our own DC’s middle names.

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 17/02/2023 19:15

Born early 70s. No middle name either.

When I asked him, my Dad said he couldn't afford one. 😁

DH born early 60s also doesn't have one.

No kids, but both my cats have first and middle names. 😻

DoNotGetADog · 17/02/2023 19:15

HazzleMcDazzle · 17/02/2023 19:00

I don't have a middle name (plus I have a really boring first name) and it's always rankled. So much so that I overcompensated and gave my DC two middle names each.

I could have written this exact post myself!

It does make me feel my parents couldn’t be arsed!

Timeforachangeisitnot · 17/02/2023 19:17

My parents did not have middle names, neither my siblings nor 1 do, but strangely all our grandparents did. I was born in the 1960s.
My dad used to tell us that he had to pay by the letter to register our births , ( Scotland) but I do think he was joking.

HollyFern1110 · 17/02/2023 19:17

CloakAndTin · 17/02/2023 18:59

I'm one of 5 siblings, all born in the 60s, none of us have a middle name. The family joke is we were so poor we couldn't afford them! None of us were christened either.

DH doesn't have a middle name - his mum always said the same!

PumpkinPie2016 · 17/02/2023 19:18

I have a middle name - born mid 80s. My brother (born early 80s) and sister (early 90s) also both have a middle name.

My mum was born in the 60s and doesn't have one, nor do her brother and sister who were born in the 50s. Yet my dad and his siblings were born between very late 40s and early 60s and all have a middle name 🤔

I suppose for you, if non of you had one, it wouldn't seem odd, but the fact your siblings do does seem a bit strange. Maybe they just genuinely couldn't find one they liked.

My mum wishes she had been given a middle name as she doesn't particularly like her first name. She generally uses a shortened version of it though, which she doesn't mind.

Choconut · 17/02/2023 19:18

I think this is one of those things that if you have a middle name then you don't really care about it, but if you don't have a middle name then you feel a bit miffed!

Oldnproud · 17/02/2023 19:18

My parents did not have middle names, but both my brother and I do. Both of my children do too, but to be honest, I don't know why! I cant see much point in them.

If I were to have another child now (which ain't going to happen as I'm well past the menopause), I wouldn't give then a middle name.

WeWereInParis · 17/02/2023 19:19

I don't have one, I was born in the early 90s. My sisters don't either, and neither does my dad. I don't care at all.
I only gave my DDs one because DH wanted to.

MrsMikeDrop · 17/02/2023 19:19

My sister and I don't have one, it's great. Never missed it and quicker to fill in forms!

Ludo19 · 17/02/2023 19:21

I fuckin HATE my middle name, born mid 70's. I very rarely use it.

Giveaschitt · 17/02/2023 19:21

We didn't give ds a middle name. Struggled enough to find one name we both liked and agreed upon, thought about what a middle name was actually for and decided there was no actual purpose so we weren't going to spend hours more looking at names to find one to give him!

midsomermurderess · 17/02/2023 19:21

My sister had one, and a confirmation name, My bother and I, none. But our names, until pretty recently, we’re very uncommon, no chance of there being another in class etc.

EmmaDilemma5 · 17/02/2023 19:22

None of my kids have one. We just felt they were surplus to requirement. Also, I never use my middle name, it literally never comes up, nor do I have an opinion of it, so I just didn't want to add the extra admin for my kids.

I wonder for you, whether your siblings got the family names and there went any left they wanted to use?

It definitely won't be a reflection of love, they'd have decided not to do a middle name before they knew anything about you as a baby/person.

Wilkolampshade · 17/02/2023 19:22
  1. No middle name. Mum, dad and brother didn't either. But oddly, or not, both my maternal and paternal grandparents had middle names.
GoodVibesHere · 17/02/2023 19:22

OP are your siblings middle names named after a relative?

I have a young family member with no middle name although the older sibling does.

I wonder whether in some cases there might be disagreements over which relative's name to use for a middle name, or people don't like the relative names (too old fashioned perhaps - e.g. Ezmerelda, Myrtle!) and to avoid family discussion/arguements they just go for no middle name to save hassle. I mean you'd think it would make sense to give a totally non-relative name but maybe some people come under pressure or find it akward to admit ('actually DH, I really can't stand MIL and don't want to use her name for our child' ) Grin

FredPolice · 17/02/2023 19:22

ItsLoudInMyMind · 17/02/2023 19:12

Why? They are rarely used.

DM and DF both hate their middle names so none of us were given middle names. We are 70’s born.

Weirdly though me and my siblings have all given our own DC’s middle names.

I used my DC's middle names when they were little. I used to fit all their names (they, too, have several middle names) into songs when we were doing things like laundry. I can still remember the songs I made up about them. 😬

EmmaDilemma5 · 17/02/2023 19:23

None of my kids have one. We just felt they were surplus to requirement. Also, I never use my middle name, it literally never comes up, nor do I have an opinion of it, so I just didn't want to add the extra admin for my kids.

I wonder for you, whether your siblings got the family names and there went any left they wanted to use?

It definitely won't be a reflection of love, they'd have decided not to do a middle name before they knew anything about you as a baby/person.

EmmaDilemma5 · 17/02/2023 19:23

None of my kids have one. We just felt they were surplus to requirement. Also, I never use my middle name, it literally never comes up, nor do I have an opinion of it, so I just didn't want to add the extra admin for my kids.

I wonder for you, whether your siblings got the family names and there went any left they wanted to use?

It definitely won't be a reflection of love, they'd have decided not to do a middle name before they knew anything about you as a baby/person.

CrawlingAloud · 17/02/2023 19:24

Early 1960s. Like many of my school friends mine is Ann.

Parents lacked imagination back then, and the inspiration that the likes of Mumsnet now provide.

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