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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't have a middle name

235 replies

NotMyCircusNotMyProblem · 17/02/2023 18:54

Firstly, this is a bit light hearted and I've not lost any sleep over this, nor will I ever but, my parents didn't give me a middle name.

I have elder siblings who both have middle names.

As a child, I did question my mum as to why, but she just brushed it off saying, your name was lovely enough and you didn't need a middle name.

Im now in my 50s and I've never given it much thought until recently - why didn't I get a middle name? Were my parents that fed up with kids they couldn't be bothered to think of one? Did they not think I would feel the odd one out because I don't have one? I can't ask my parents now, they've both passed away.

Maybe middle names in the 60s were not such a big thing then... although all my peers and friends,,, everyone I know seem to have middle names.

So, do you have a middle name, how old are you and AIBU in feeling unloved at not having a middle name?

OP posts:
Hbh17 · 17/02/2023 20:33

I was also born in the 60s, and no middle name. Also a first name that can't be shortened. My parents couldn't see the point in either.

cunningartificer · 17/02/2023 20:34

I have a middle name--in fact my parents always called me by this name and not my first name. I didn't know I had two names, which meant I got a shock when I went to school and looked rather slow not to recognise my own name called in the register! I remember asking my parents why they did it and didn't name me the other way around if they preferred my second name... they said they thought I might dislike my (slightly unusual) name and it would make it easy to change to my first name! As I actually like my name it's just been massively inconvenient.

new2mn · 17/02/2023 20:34

What does your birth certificate say? If your siblings have middle names but you don't, maybe there was bad history to your middle name and they removed it when you were little

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 20:35

I have a middle name and it's ok but I never use it for anything. If I have to initial things at work I just do first and last name,
My DC don't have middle names as we didn't see the point, if they want to choose one at some point then that's fine, but they don't give it a thought.

tentinginmarch · 17/02/2023 20:35

NigelHargreaves · 17/02/2023 19:01

I don’t have a middle name and absolutely hate my first name. My sister got lovely first and middle names Envy

I'm not keen on Nigel either tbh

Hopelessacademic · 17/02/2023 20:37

My DD has 2 middle names lol!

We picked a first name that's a bit unusual, then her first middle name is a family name, that's more common and "normal" than her first name, so she could go by that if she wanted.

Her second middle name is my surname as I didn't take DH's surname and just wanted it to be on her birth certificate and passport etc!

Grizzledstrawberry · 17/02/2023 20:37

Same, I'm the only one out of 4 siblings without a middle name. I think it send me a bit crazy so I gave my kids two middle names each 😂

Mosaic123 · 17/02/2023 20:38

I was born in the 1960s. No middle name. My sibling doesn't have one either. Nor did my parents.

My DH has two. My DC ready have one.

I was going to get one for my 50th birthday (deed poll) but decided it was too much trouble to change documents and bank accounts.

bigbluebus · 17/02/2023 20:38

I was born in the 60's and have a middle name - although my GF always hyphenated it with my 1st name to make one name although there's no hyphen on my birth certificate. I the youngest of 3. Both older siblings have middle names too. DB1 has out DFs name as his middle name. DB2 has our GF middle name as his middle name. My names are random.

DH (also born in 60's) is also youngest of 3 and has a middle name as do both his older siblings.

XanaduKira · 17/02/2023 20:40

Apparentlystillchilled · 17/02/2023 18:56

I don’t have a middle name but all my siblings do. I was born in the 70s, so not just a 60s thing.

This is me too - I like not having a middle name (although did give all my kids one!)

RedRiverShore3 · 17/02/2023 20:40

It's a pain when it all has to match for official stuff, DH and DS don't have this bother as they haven't got one

YouSoundLovely · 17/02/2023 20:40

My dh is the younger of two brothers and didn't get a middle name, whereas his brother did. He really didn't miss out, though - his brother got their father's first name, which is an old man name without any of the old man chic. He's not bothered at all, but I do find the act of giving his brother a middle name and him not (and his first name is also very short) a bit sad, notwithstanding he dodged a bullet.

Our three dc have two middle names each. It would have been awful to give ne or two of them only one or none at all.

LlynTegid · 17/02/2023 20:41

My mum doesn't, has no idea why not, is not an issue for her.

The only things to me if you don't have one is that some part of your heritage cannot be remembered (a middle name is sometimes one say of a much loved deceased family member), and if your first name is not to your liking, you don't have another to be known by. For example, Leonard Callaghan, James Brown or Mary Truss, who all use/used their middle name.

CKL987 · 17/02/2023 20:41

My sibling and I don't have a middle name. I've always joked that my parents didn't love us enough to be bothered to choose one. In reality they didn't see the point. I don't feel in the slightest bit hard done by. Thankfully our names aren't super common so there won't be 1000s of people with our name around the world.

EyesOnThePies · 17/02/2023 20:41

I’m the eldest and have no middle name, my younger siblings have one each.

I am not in the least bit bothered. I don’t miss having one, they seem largely pointless. I certainly never felt it was a favouritism thing.

DH doesn’t have one, nor Dc. However we decided both our surnames, hyphenated, was enough names for Dc.

Cocobutt · 17/02/2023 20:42

I know lots of people who don’t have a middle name.

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have one and their siblings do though.
That’s a bit sad.

I wonder if they couldn’t think of anything that sounded nice with it.
I knew my DDs first name before I even got pregnant but it took me months to figure out a middle name that went with it.

RichardHeed · 17/02/2023 20:43

No middle name here. No one needs one, they serve little purpose. I can see why you would be questioning it if your siblings have them.

Ohwowanother · 17/02/2023 20:44

I was born in the 80’s and one of 3 siblings. None of us have middle names.
I have 3 children and they don’t have middle names.
I felt relieved all my life not to have to put multiple names on all official documents.
Both my siblings have given their children unnecessary extra names to either carry on their own name or try to be ‘different’ with their child’s name.
Most people I know hate their middle name so why inflict that on your child. Let them
be their own person

Tribollite · 17/02/2023 20:45

My mum chose my middle name carefully and I love it. She doesn't have one - born during a war (not in UK), her father already dead, her mother said there was no point giving her one as she was better off dead. Her later siblings all have middle names.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 17/02/2023 20:45

Nor do I and I have always resented it. How much effort would it have cost my parents? - answer, nil.

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 17/02/2023 20:46

60s child here, no middle name. It’s never bothered me.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 17/02/2023 20:46

I don’t have one…. none of us do. I’m the youngest of 4 70s babies.

DD has 2 middle names (both family names) but DS only has one. Just didn’t have another family name we liked for a boy.

Nobody on my DMs side of the family has middle names. My DFs side they all have one.
DHs family all have 2 middle names.

I don’t think anyone is really bothered. Other than DH who hates one of his and leaves it off everything.

OnGoldenPond · 17/02/2023 20:47

DH doesn't have a middle name though his siblings do. According to MIL they did have one picked out but then FIL went to register his birth on his own ( not quite sure why). By the time he got to the registry office he had forgotten the middle name, so just gave the name he could remember! Shock

ladygindiva · 17/02/2023 20:48

My dad has no middle name, my mum has four!! We joke as she was a late only child they gave her all the names as they wouldn't be having more !

GlassBunion · 17/02/2023 20:49

Most of my friends hate their middle names.
I despise mine.
Neither of our children have middle names.
They are mid/late 20s and couldn't care less about not having one.

They are utterly useless and is an outdated thing.

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