To give up on heels?

[Mimmi78]

I have had a life long love affair with heels, tall, shiny, colours, kittens, courts and sky highs.
Roll forward to working from home since 2020 and now spend one day a week in my Central London office.
I have recently found a whole day in them excruciating and painful. just can't wear heels all day anymore! I have been lugging them about in a bag and do the train to office in trainers and any other walking!
Aibu - just keep lugging them about like the rest of us!
Yanbu- Join the revolution and here are some fabulous feel good but not horrid alternatives!

Blimey hope you teach your students to judge people on what they do rather than what they look like.
Your reaction seems very extreme to immediately scorn someone based on an item of clothing. Imagine the reaction if you did the same based on someone’s colour or size.

I am not insecure, at all, in fact quite the opposite, very confident to express my opinion that no one should be wearing heels in a school, as it is the worst of all possible examples to the girls in front of you

Very happy and confident to express this, and frequently have

Dont know where you get the feeling I am insecure at all!

its not ok to consider heels just an "item of clothing" - they disable the wearer. Clothing doesnt do that

It's all a bit 'don't wear what they want you to wear, wear what I want you to wear' if you ask me.

I've never really worn heels because I'm pretty tall already and they just made me feel like a giant.

Am kinda glad flats are in as that means there is now so much choice.

"the rest of us"? I haven't worn heels since about 2003.

of course you cant run faster than I can in flats!

There is no comparison with low cut tops, or G string bikinis, - these dont disable the wearer

Remind me to dig out a pair of heels to wear.

Sounds like the women who wore heels were senior enough to be your manager.

I find the idea that it’s feminism and shoes which made us less physically capable are being consigned to history implausible..

I mean yes - it’s mad when you think about how women have been wearing shoes that damage feet and make us slower and less able to walk distances for fashion … BUT what about super long nails which seem more and more in fashion these days? (Not that I ever actually see these in my life). It’s the same thing really - harder to type, pick up things, wipe after the loo (!), cook, use tools, etc etc etc.

In answer to the heels question. A LONG time a go I felt I should wear heels to work but I feel like that changes more like ten years a go. I’d keep a pair under the desk for important meetings but lived in flats 90% of the time at work even, and 100% of the time at home.
Nowadays I keep one or two pairs for earring with a dress for functions that require it… so incredibly rare. I’d go to the pub or a bar in trainers. Still I do feel I need them to wear with a black tie dress or a cocktail dress - fortunately for my feet this happens once a year or so.

Heels are a "fashion choice" like footbinding was a "fashion choice"

It isnt a "fashion choice" if it disables the wearer, both short and long term

The "sad" thing is that anyone thinks wearing an item of clothing that disables a woman for the viewing pleasure of men can be normalised to the extent that it can be considered nothing more than a "fashion choice" and in fact one that became so normalised that some work places in the past felt they could insist on it

Same. My feet got soft during covid and I just can't wear them now. They look dated anyway.

I'm the same OP.

I mainly wear flats now and have some beautiful suede loafers and such.

I do still wear heels sometimes to 'elevate a look' but stick to nothing more than a 1-2 inch kitten heel or block / western heel on boots (both of which are 'on trend' at the moment).

exactly, wear them once, in pain for a week, wear them habitually, many women endure years of pain.

This is not ok, to be held up as a "fashion choice" or something women need to look smart, or professional.

Yanbu

This is what I think about when I think about

an item of clothing designed to disable women for the viewing pleasure of men!

So honestly this is why I don’t think there has been any fundamental societal shift.

For those saying heels are 'outdated' you're a little bit behind.

They were 'out' but kitten heels, especially slingbacks and block/western heels are in.

Its just taking a little time to filter through to the high street but if you look at any retailer - Zara, H&M, etc you'll find these at the mo.

yes, I do get your point with the nails, but there is a big difference, and that is, however bad it looks with the nails on, she can take them off tomorrow, and her hands wont be damaged.

I agree, the nails do look very silly, and I get annoyed being asked to do things for a colleague at work who cant do normal things for herself

( not that my colleagues nails are anything like this! but apparently they are fragile and expensive)

I wear what is comfy, I have some great chunky heeled boots and some great flats and trainers. The key is they are comfy. I do think the stiletto court shoe look has fallen out of fashion but I would say in my place of work we have about 50/50 heel wearers and flats, no stilettos though! I too find it sad there is so much judgement for people's clothing choice. 😥

I really don't think very long nails like that are for men.

Men don't like nails that long.

It's about self-expression. Whether we 'get it' or not is irrelevant.

And when I wear (my 2 inch) heels it's also about self-expression for me. I'm happily married so don't give one shiny shit about what random men I may encounter or work colleagues I'm not remotely attracted to think about my outfit.

And my husband doesn't care about heels either.

For me it's about aesthetics. In the same way I love interior design. And it's about aesthetics to please me...not anyone else.

I'm a heterosexual female and I like seeing them on females, I think they can be beautiful, stop being so close minded and judgemental. And sexist! Me liking them has nothing to do with the viewing pleasure of men, you sound unhinged.

But they are a fashion choice. I certainly don’t feel disabled by heels, I don’t live in them but I enjoy them with the right outfit and for the right occasion. That is my choice. There is no need to wear a heel to look attractive to the opposite sex, certainly not in this day and age. I don’t why you’ve put sad in inverted commas if you actually do find it sad. What I’m referring to in ky post is the ‘only old women, only stupid women’ only unfashionable women, only pathetic women’ wear heels these days. That is being said here to make women who enjoy wearing heels feel shame. I don’t support that in any way and never will. Regardless of the history behind heels, now, heels are a choice. It disgusts me that women go out of their way to shame other women for something as ridiculous as choosing to wear a heeled shoe.

This is when you know it is coming from a place of insecurity. They have to throw in derogatory comments about women to try and make their point. It is always insecurity at play when the insults come out.

That’s exactly how I feel about it, thank you. I find it really horrible to see that happening.

Aibu - just keep lugging them about like the rest of us!

where have you been? I don’t know anyone who lugs heels around anymore. It’s not the 90s!

just as an side, it would be interesting to know ( but impossible to calculate) exactly how much current and past wearing of heels is going to cost the NHS this year. Into the millions, certainly