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Original poster

What did she want people to do?

576 replies

SkivingSnackboxes · 16/02/2023 05:35

Recently went to spectate at a sporting event and we got on the tram to get there. It was rammed, we expected it to be rammed. It's a busy event.

The tram was standing room only, and it was busy Ie sardines.

This pregnant woman was standing in the middle of the aisle she wouldn't move further down so there was a huge gap behind her. She didn't look that pregnant tbh, she kept shouting. im pregnant, I need space, you all need to back off, I'm pregnant I need a seat im pregnant I can't be touched
The only people sat down were kids and old people and the families didn't offer her a seat. The guard came down and told her she needed to move down into the gap or get off. She decided to get off and then asked if the trams were going to be busy all day?

She genuinely wanted random strangers to not go to the rugby because she enforced a halo of 'im pregnant and no one can be near me'

Surely if you're that precious about being pregnant you'd get a taxi?

OP posts:
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8
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 16/02/2023 20:44

I think someone should have given her a seat - one of the parents in the families perhaps? Or an older child? The guard should have helped her get a seat.

Sounds like she was having a bit of a panic attack which can happen in crowds. Perhaps she needed to get to her destination but none the less was panicking. It also horrible to be bumped and jostled when you are pregnant, esp if feeling sick already.

Surprised you were so unsympathetic.

NCSQ · 16/02/2023 20:52

I think it's awful that no one offered her a seat. Elderly people should not be expected to of course, but any child of mine would be expected to stand for a pregnant woman in need.

NCSQ · 16/02/2023 20:52

I once passed out on a busy commuter train and no one offered me a seat.

HelloBunny · 16/02/2023 20:59

Did she ask anyone to give her a seat? Or just say she’s pregnant & hope for an offer? I’d ask, no problem!

SleepingStandingUp · 16/02/2023 21:10

She was clearly a bit over dramatic but I can't believe no one would offer her a seat. If make DS 7 stand for a pregnant woman.

LostidentityM · 16/02/2023 21:11

Pregnancy affects everyone differently. Usually on MN, they look down on anyone who hasn't had an easy ride of things. I would give someone the benefit of the doubt (and my pregnancy was relatively straightforward)

Supersimkin2 · 16/02/2023 21:13

Awful that DC didn’t give her a seat. Tiny Tarquin’s arteries weren’t furred enough yet for his doting mummy?

Idkrealorfake · 16/02/2023 21:24

Do you really not understand what she wanted people to do? Seems pretty clear to me.

Really shit that no one gave her a seat. The guard should have stuck up for her.

Bensmum1988 · 16/02/2023 21:25

I used to think I had to have a very visible bump to justify wearing a ‘Baby on board’ badge on the Tube until I fainted while standing on a packed Tube during the first trimester. I feel normal now I have a bump so it’s irrelevant how pregnant someone looks. I have also been nauseous on a Tube, which was definitely worsened by someone practically standing in my lap. There is also the worry of being bumped or even falling, which would be even more of concern for those who have miscarried in the past. Pregnancy can be a difficult time for some, for many reasons. Having a taxi across London twice a day, for many weeks, would have cost a huge amount of money and is an unreasonable suggestion even if it’s a one-off journey.

Gabby8 · 16/02/2023 21:28

She sounds a bit entitled but I think it’s bad and rather sad nobody offered her a seat, that being said I remember had to stand in a queue with a toddler on my hip 20 odd weeks pregnant for half an hour and nobody offered me one of their seats. I think people are just inconsiderate and entitled in general now. I half thought about asking someone to move but in the end I couldn’t be bothered with the hassle- it was a pharmacy so possible everyone just felt too ill to give up their seat and although I felt ill too I’m pretty physically fit for a pregnant lady (although suffer from low blood pressure). I also left a sporting event early as crowds started pushing and shoving - it can be scary being pregnant worrying for your safety you are more vulnerable.

AGoldenNarwhal · 16/02/2023 21:34

Someone should have offered her a seat.

As a parent, I would always pull my child onto my lap to sit if someone was standing. Even at 7 months pregnant myself, I expected my 5yo either to sit on the edge of my lap, to sit on the floor or to stand if there were other adults standing.

LocalHobo · 16/02/2023 22:14

I don't see pregnancy as an illness but I do think children travelling with responsible adults should always give up their seat for adults over 40ish.

Thatboymum · 16/02/2023 22:16

I wouldn’t have offered her a seat I’d have offered her some advice that she’s only pregnant not disabled and isn’t the first or last woman either

Iggii · 16/02/2023 22:19

Is it very wrong of me to hope that some of the "it's not an illness" crew experience just one day of hyperemesis and SPD In their next pregnancy?

Mississippi6 · 16/02/2023 22:56

Thatboymum · 16/02/2023 22:16

I wouldn’t have offered her a seat I’d have offered her some advice that she’s only pregnant not disabled and isn’t the first or last woman either

🙄

MelaniesFlowers · 16/02/2023 23:00

Thatboymum · 16/02/2023 22:16

I wouldn’t have offered her a seat I’d have offered her some advice that she’s only pregnant not disabled and isn’t the first or last woman either

“Only pregnant”? You are aware women experience pregnancy differently, yes?

I was in a lot of pain from 17 weeks and had to give up work at 29 weeks because I couldn’t walk properly.

Thatboymum · 16/02/2023 23:06

MelaniesFlowers · 16/02/2023 23:00

“Only pregnant”? You are aware women experience pregnancy differently, yes?

I was in a lot of pain from 17 weeks and had to give up work at 29 weeks because I couldn’t walk properly.

Show quote history

I’m very aware of that yes, I have a rare neurological condition that meant when I got pregnant the pressure in my brain was so bad I lost my eyesight and hearing on one side and also the use of my left arm and leg whilst I was pregnant, coupled by the usual pregnancy ailments too and i stand by my comments because I wouldn’t have expected special treatment or half a carriage to stay away from me, she’s only pregnant and dramatic at that

DahliaMacNamara · 16/02/2023 23:20

Bloody hell, @Thatboymum , did you limp along insisting it was but a flesh wound as well? You know you were literally entitled to occupy a seat on public transport? As in, there were seats set aside for people who are pregnant/disabled/elderly?
Whatever you decided to accept for yourself, it doesn't follow that others have to emulate you.

7eleven · 17/02/2023 00:50

Shame on you, OP, for judging her rather than helping her get a seat.

SleepingStandingUp · 17/02/2023 01:03

LocalHobo · 16/02/2023 22:14

I don't see pregnancy as an illness but I do think children travelling with responsible adults should always give up their seat for adults over 40ish.

I'm 41, I'm far more able to hold on to the bars and straps than probably anyone under 12. Why would I want some little kiddy falling all over jammed bus whilst I still in elderly splendour at 41????

Lots of older teens will give up their seat for my 7 yo, which I'm always grateful for and I would expect him to give it up to someone infirm or pregnant. Not someone my age.

Would you honestly sit whilst making your own young kids stand?

Valhalla17 · 17/02/2023 01:12

When I was heavily pregnant I was at Baker Street Station in London. There were train issues so it was heaving. I was a bit taken aback by the crowds and feeling quite vulnerable. A woman spotted me in the crowd and headed right for me, barged into me deliberately and knocked me over. I managed to get myself up and got on a train, of course it was like sardines. I burst into tears and a kind woman gave me her seat.

Surely it's not much to expect another human being to notice that someone pregnant might be feeling vulnerable in that situation, and give them a seat. Quite frankly regardless if they were "well" or not, it's also safer to have a pregnant woman sitting down on transport. They are carrying a new life after all!

Valhalla17 · 17/02/2023 01:13

And YES kids are quite able to and should be made to stand. I was raised to always give up my seat for another adult or "elder".

wingingit1987 · 17/02/2023 01:36

SleepingStandingUp · 17/02/2023 01:03

I'm 41, I'm far more able to hold on to the bars and straps than probably anyone under 12. Why would I want some little kiddy falling all over jammed bus whilst I still in elderly splendour at 41????

Lots of older teens will give up their seat for my 7 yo, which I'm always grateful for and I would expect him to give it up to someone infirm or pregnant. Not someone my age.

Would you honestly sit whilst making your own young kids stand?

Show quote history

I’m 35. I read the “adults over 40ish” comment and sat here panicking that I could expect myself to age dramatically in the next few years 😂. Is that supposed to be old age now??

ConcordeOoter · 17/02/2023 01:44

A whole carriage and nobody could bring themselves to work out a way for a bump to sit down.

What
The
Actual
Fuck

Mammyloveswine · 17/02/2023 01:49

I'm shocked no one gave up a seat for her!

Although I can remember being heavily pregnant and giving up my seat for someone with a bigger bump who was struggling.

Poor woman.

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