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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What did she want people to do?

576 replies

SkivingSnackboxes · 16/02/2023 05:35

Recently went to spectate at a sporting event and we got on the tram to get there. It was rammed, we expected it to be rammed. It's a busy event.

The tram was standing room only, and it was busy Ie sardines.

This pregnant woman was standing in the middle of the aisle she wouldn't move further down so there was a huge gap behind her. She didn't look that pregnant tbh, she kept shouting. im pregnant, I need space, you all need to back off, I'm pregnant I need a seat im pregnant I can't be touched
The only people sat down were kids and old people and the families didn't offer her a seat. The guard came down and told her she needed to move down into the gap or get off. She decided to get off and then asked if the trams were going to be busy all day?

She genuinely wanted random strangers to not go to the rugby because she enforced a halo of 'im pregnant and no one can be near me'

Surely if you're that precious about being pregnant you'd get a taxi?

OP posts:
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8
Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 15:12

pictoosh · 16/02/2023 15:09

I'm quite happy to waste my time rolling my eyes at all you grama merchants. I'm on holiday this week so I'm chill.

So ‘Chill’ you’ve posted on this thread 5 times in 5 minutes 🤭 Nothing on this site is ‘worthy’ of time wasting but everyone needs a hobby..

pictoosh · 16/02/2023 15:19

I'm right though.

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 15:20

pictoosh · 16/02/2023 15:19

I'm right though.

You are but you have to include what you are doing in this ‘rightness’ it is hugely ironic ☺️

Ursuladevinia82 · 16/02/2023 15:29

pictoosh · 16/02/2023 15:09

I'm quite happy to waste my time rolling my eyes at all you grama merchants. I'm on holiday this week so I'm chill.

What a shame to be spending your holiday on mumsnet posting nonsense like this.

I am in car waiting to pick up son from rugby. Nothing better to do! 😂

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 15:45

pictoosh · 16/02/2023 15:08

Maybe she was in distress, maybe she's a self-absorbed diva. Who knows and really...who cares?

Well exactly. It's all very well to take the default position of 'I think she is ND or has mh issues' but what if she isn't/doesn't? What if she is just an entitled pregnant woman shouting on a busy tram?

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 15:47

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 15:45

Well exactly. It's all very well to take the default position of 'I think she is ND or has mh issues' but what if she isn't/doesn't? What if she is just an entitled pregnant woman shouting on a busy tram?

Show quote history

It’s all very well to argue the opposite but you don’t know either

Mothertess · 16/02/2023 15:48

Op literally said the only people sat down were children and old people or can people on this thread not read?Why should they get up for a pregnant woman? I certainly wouldn't ask my 4 year old child or 70 year old grandma to stand in her place.

She sounds precious and OTT. Pregnancy isn't a disability and if she didn't like how busy it was, should have gotten off (before losing the plot) being instructed to.

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 15:51

Mothertess · 16/02/2023 15:48

Op literally said the only people sat down were children and old people or can people on this thread not read?Why should they get up for a pregnant woman? I certainly wouldn't ask my 4 year old child or 70 year old grandma to stand in her place.

She sounds precious and OTT. Pregnancy isn't a disability and if she didn't like how busy it was, should have gotten off (before losing the plot) being instructed to.

She said families or can’t you read 😬

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 15:53

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 15:47

It’s all very well to argue the opposite but you don’t know either

Show quote history

So that kind of proves @pictoosh's point really.

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 15:54

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 15:53

So that kind of proves @pictoosh's point really.

Show quote history

Hence my comment to him/her.

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 15:57

I will say I had a poster say to me 'you sound on the edge' while preaching about awareness of mental ill health and neurodiversity. This is why we love mumsnet. It's ok to be downright unpleasant to strangers from behind a screen but irl we of course must consider every possibility for why they are the way they are.

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 16:00

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 15:57

I will say I had a poster say to me 'you sound on the edge' while preaching about awareness of mental ill health and neurodiversity. This is why we love mumsnet. It's ok to be downright unpleasant to strangers from behind a screen but irl we of course must consider every possibility for why they are the way they are.

Yes I saw that and commented on that too, very unpleasant.

Mothertess · 16/02/2023 16:00

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 15:51

She said families or can’t you read 😬

Show quote history

'The only people sat down were kids and old people and the families didn't offer her a seat.'

Children wouldn't be on their own so obviously their families would be with them so Why would their parents offer the pregnant woman their children's seats?

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 16:03

Mothertess · 16/02/2023 16:00

'The only people sat down were kids and old people and the families didn't offer her a seat.'

Children wouldn't be on their own so obviously their families would be with them so Why would their parents offer the pregnant woman their children's seats?

Show quote history

It could be read either way, How convenient to the narrative is it that zero parents were sitting down. I know what it said because I can read, you came in hot there 😂

Mothertess · 16/02/2023 16:06

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 16:03

It could be read either way, How convenient to the narrative is it that zero parents were sitting down. I know what it said because I can read, you came in hot there 😂

Show quote history

I came in 'hot' because op said children and old people were sitting, not whole families and majority of the comments are people asking why noone offered her a seat or that they would have when it states in the original post why. You were certainly quick to try and correct me, even though you can read. Hit a nerve?

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 16:10

Mothertess · 16/02/2023 16:06

I came in 'hot' because op said children and old people were sitting, not whole families and majority of the comments are people asking why noone offered her a seat or that they would have when it states in the original post why. You were certainly quick to try and correct me, even though you can read. Hit a nerve?

Show quote history

Yeah I’m totally devastated due to what a aggressive stranger thinks about me, I obviously can’t read and am having this dictated as we speak.

AnuSTart · 16/02/2023 16:17

Festivfrenzy · 16/02/2023 05:55

Sounds like she was having MH issues - hopefully she found a seat with some peace and quiet on the next train x

This.
I've been pregnant lots of times and tried never to be an arsehole.
For some people they think it makes them special.

If she'd asked someone individually to let her sit as she was really suffering then all well and good.
I've met a few 'performative pregnant women' and it's never great.

AnuSTart · 16/02/2023 16:19

Bollocks. I quoted the wrong post. I meant pregnancy is not an excuse to be a dick. Yet some people use it!

Sugargliderwombat · 16/02/2023 16:27

Sounds on the edge of a panic attack or something. Someone should have offered her a seat. That's what priority seats are for (children can stand!!!)

Lostthewilltolive1970 · 16/02/2023 17:43

My kids were always taught to give up there seat to any adult, not just pregnant ones. But I suppose that's a whole other MN subject 😂
She sounds like she was full of anxiety. I don't think I'd relish the thought of packed public transport post pandemic. I think COVID made us all think twice about personal space.

Mississippi6 · 16/02/2023 18:45

Lostthewilltolive1970 · 16/02/2023 17:43

My kids were always taught to give up there seat to any adult, not just pregnant ones. But I suppose that's a whole other MN subject 😂
She sounds like she was full of anxiety. I don't think I'd relish the thought of packed public transport post pandemic. I think COVID made us all think twice about personal space.

It’s not only Covid, if you catch cold/ flu, it can have consequences for the foetus, I understand why she wanted some personal space

DragonsFurry · 16/02/2023 20:35

One of the families should really have offered her a seat. She was probably feeling v hormonal hence the outburst.

katepilar · 16/02/2023 20:39

She sounds she was obviously distressed. We dont know why exactly. Hopefully, OP you will never find yourself in that situation.
Plus, not everyone lives in a world where they think taxis when they need to get somewhere.

cherish123 · 16/02/2023 20:39

She had huge sense of entitlement. I am sure she could have managed to stand for a journey.

Ofcourseshecan · 16/02/2023 20:43

MenoEek · 16/02/2023 06:23

Surprised the guard didn’t help her get a seat.

Yes. There must have been someone able-bodied who could have given up their seat. Shame.