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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What did she want people to do?

576 replies

SkivingSnackboxes · 16/02/2023 05:35

Recently went to spectate at a sporting event and we got on the tram to get there. It was rammed, we expected it to be rammed. It's a busy event.

The tram was standing room only, and it was busy Ie sardines.

This pregnant woman was standing in the middle of the aisle she wouldn't move further down so there was a huge gap behind her. She didn't look that pregnant tbh, she kept shouting. im pregnant, I need space, you all need to back off, I'm pregnant I need a seat im pregnant I can't be touched
The only people sat down were kids and old people and the families didn't offer her a seat. The guard came down and told her she needed to move down into the gap or get off. She decided to get off and then asked if the trams were going to be busy all day?

She genuinely wanted random strangers to not go to the rugby because she enforced a halo of 'im pregnant and no one can be near me'

Surely if you're that precious about being pregnant you'd get a taxi?

OP posts:
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8
teaandtoastwithmarmite · 16/02/2023 12:16

When I was in the early stages I.e not showing was probably when I needed the seat most. I remember DH and I going to Notting Hill carnival and I was only a few weeks along. It was so hot on the tube and I was getting really bad cramps I was very uncomfortable

Emotionalsupportviper · 16/02/2023 12:18

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 16/02/2023 12:16

When I was in the early stages I.e not showing was probably when I needed the seat most. I remember DH and I going to Notting Hill carnival and I was only a few weeks along. It was so hot on the tube and I was getting really bad cramps I was very uncomfortable

The first trimester is when the foetus is most vulnerable, too.

Barneysma2 · 16/02/2023 12:22

People on here are so fickle. The op has come on here and said this woman was demanding a seat and saying for people not to come near her so people are commenting defending the pregnant woman. I can guarantee if the pregnant woman had come on here and started a thread on here how no one would have offered her a seat and everyone was standing near her and she didn't want them too, everyone would be commenting saying how entitled she was and just because she is pregnant doesn't mean she should automatically get a seat. 🙄

Grumpybutfunny · 16/02/2023 12:25

whynotwhatknot · 16/02/2023 10:48

when i was young we were told to give upour seats for any adult -we either sat on o9r parents laps or held their hand

We also forward faced them and used backless boosters which are now frowned upon. Luckily the kids parents were considering their safety over the comfort of the lady concerned

UdoU · 16/02/2023 12:27

Barneysma2 · 16/02/2023 12:22

People on here are so fickle. The op has come on here and said this woman was demanding a seat and saying for people not to come near her so people are commenting defending the pregnant woman. I can guarantee if the pregnant woman had come on here and started a thread on here how no one would have offered her a seat and everyone was standing near her and she didn't want them too, everyone would be commenting saying how entitled she was and just because she is pregnant doesn't mean she should automatically get a seat. 🙄

No, they really wouldn't, except in your own head.

Ursuladevinia82 · 16/02/2023 12:32

Barneysma2 · 16/02/2023 12:22

People on here are so fickle. The op has come on here and said this woman was demanding a seat and saying for people not to come near her so people are commenting defending the pregnant woman. I can guarantee if the pregnant woman had come on here and started a thread on here how no one would have offered her a seat and everyone was standing near her and she didn't want them too, everyone would be commenting saying how entitled she was and just because she is pregnant doesn't mean she should automatically get a seat. 🙄

I would sympathise

GoodChat · 16/02/2023 12:33

Teateaandmoretea · 16/02/2023 08:01

If I was concerned for my children's safety, I'd pick them up

you would honestly stand on a bus holding a child? 😲

On a different thread kids should be backwards facing in the car till 7 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes of course I would. It's better than them being crushed or flung.

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 12:37

Barneysma2 · 16/02/2023 12:22

People on here are so fickle. The op has come on here and said this woman was demanding a seat and saying for people not to come near her so people are commenting defending the pregnant woman. I can guarantee if the pregnant woman had come on here and started a thread on here how no one would have offered her a seat and everyone was standing near her and she didn't want them too, everyone would be commenting saying how entitled she was and just because she is pregnant doesn't mean she should automatically get a seat. 🙄

Yep I've already suggested that but everyone is pretending it wouldn't happen. We all know the aim of 'aibu' is to make the OP feel like a massive dick.

Ursuladevinia82 · 16/02/2023 12:38

@AllOfThemWitches and @Barneysma2

do you have children?

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 12:41

Ursuladevinia82 · 16/02/2023 12:38

@AllOfThemWitches and @Barneysma2

do you have children?

Hold on, should you not scour the thread for every poster who doesn't agree with you before you do whatever you're attempting here?

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 12:45

Maybe she’s previously lost a child during pregnancy through being bashed, you’ll never know. It’s crap that no one got up for her but standard, I used to have to get on a packed train to go to work when I was heavily pregnant and no one ever got up so I made damn sure I was given some personal space, hope that’s ok with you.

Ursuladevinia82 · 16/02/2023 12:45

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 12:41

Hold on, should you not scour the thread for every poster who doesn't agree with you before you do whatever you're attempting here?

Show quote history

Huh?

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 12:46

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 12:37

Yep I've already suggested that but everyone is pretending it wouldn't happen. We all know the aim of 'aibu' is to make the OP feel like a massive dick.

Show quote history

I’d say nothing of the sort I promise, is it ok to disagree with OP now?

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 12:50

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 12:46

I’d say nothing of the sort I promise, is it ok to disagree with OP now?

Show quote history

I have no idea what you're on about tbh. My point is that had we heard this from the other side, people would still be declaring 'yabu.' OP couldn't have offered a seat as it sounds as though she wasn't seated herself. And the woman was not behaving in a reasonable way by the sounds of it. Would you be shouting at people on public transport?

DaveyJonesLocker · 16/02/2023 12:55

I'd have found that very stressful if I was her. Someone should have offered her a seat. She was clearly very stressed about the situation. I would not know when rugby or football were on in my area, not the faintest clue, I don't follow the sports.

Ursuladevinia82 · 16/02/2023 12:56

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 12:50

I have no idea what you're on about tbh. My point is that had we heard this from the other side, people would still be declaring 'yabu.' OP couldn't have offered a seat as it sounds as though she wasn't seated herself. And the woman was not behaving in a reasonable way by the sounds of it. Would you be shouting at people on public transport?

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Well we know that people would be saying you being unreasonable… you and @Barneysma2 !! 😂

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 12:57

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 12:50

I have no idea what you're on about tbh. My point is that had we heard this from the other side, people would still be declaring 'yabu.' OP couldn't have offered a seat as it sounds as though she wasn't seated herself. And the woman was not behaving in a reasonable way by the sounds of it. Would you be shouting at people on public transport?

Show quote history

I don’t know how to make it clearer for you 🤷‍♀️ Potentially yes if I was pregnant and being forced into a tight spot, we know nothing about her situation and if she was the OP she’d be able to expand more on this wouldn’t she. I think it’s a damming indictment that people think it’s entitled for a pregnant woman to want a seat I really do.

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 12:58

Ursuladevinia82 · 16/02/2023 12:56

Well we know that people would be saying you being unreasonable… you and @Barneysma2 !! 😂

Show quote history

So you're just talking out of your arse then? Happy for you to quote me if I've been 'unreasonable.' At least I'm not comparing pregnancy to disability! :)

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 12:58

Also it’s pretty outrageous to suggest she should ‘just get a taxi’.

Ursuladevinia82 · 16/02/2023 12:59

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 12:58

So you're just talking out of your arse then? Happy for you to quote me if I've been 'unreasonable.' At least I'm not comparing pregnancy to disability! :)

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What are you on about?! You sound on the edge!

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 12:59

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 12:57

I don’t know how to make it clearer for you 🤷‍♀️ Potentially yes if I was pregnant and being forced into a tight spot, we know nothing about her situation and if she was the OP she’d be able to expand more on this wouldn’t she. I think it’s a damming indictment that people think it’s entitled for a pregnant woman to want a seat I really do.

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She wasn't being 'forced,' she was expected to do what anyone else would be asked - move down or get off.

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 13:00

Ursuladevinia82 · 16/02/2023 12:59

What are you on about?! You sound on the edge!

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That's the second time I've seen that today on mumsnet, how odd.

Ursuladevinia82 · 16/02/2023 13:01

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 13:00

That's the second time I've seen that today on mumsnet, how odd.

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Directed at you?! 😂

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 13:01

AllOfThemWitches · 16/02/2023 12:59

She wasn't being 'forced,' she was expected to do what anyone else would be asked - move down or get off.

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Verbally forced yes, stuff yourself in there or get off. If I was sitting down and saw someone distressed like that I would get up.

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 13:02

Ursuladevinia82 · 16/02/2023 12:59

What are you on about?! You sound on the edge!

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What a ridiculous and offensive thing to say @Ursuladevinia82