I'm wasting my children's lives by cleaning

[wastingyouthondishes]

And I go through the same routine every day.
I wake up, think this is the day I get the whole hpuse clean before they get back from school, spend the next 6 hours cleaning, sigh because I've not even finished 2 rooms, pick them up from school and try to finish while they scratch eachothers eyes out or feign diarrhea so they camt possibly pick up a barbie. I have a toddler at home all day who constantly swipes every fucking item onto the floor. He's recently discovered how to empty a drawer and this week I've not had a clear floor in any room for longer than 2 minutes.

It comes in ebsand flows, I always find myself posting this stuff when I reach toddler stage, but now I'm old enough and I've had enough kids (4) to realise that I'm wasting my toddlers last days at home with me before school starts and my children's lives after school.

I'm not a pig (all the time) and I don't live in a bomb site always but if the police or an ambulance had to enter my home for an emergency today I'd be contacted by social services for potential death via lego induced fall! Oh and throwing toys down the stairs! Toddler is 2 and still learning but I can't keep up with the mess.
DH works full time and he's spending every day after work helping me clean and then making dinner and tidying up after too and I'm still not making a dent because my kids keep bringing everything out before I've even put it all away.
considering locks on every door and just locking each room when I've finished and the kids can live in the bath!

I go to bed every night upset its not done and I've not gone to the park but I can't live like this. We are decluttering but it's slow and they sneak stuff back in the house from the bags.

Its not always this bad but its been over a week and the kids keep taking toys into my room because their floor is full! despite me tidying all day!
I need it all out don't I? Aghhh!!!!!

-pure rant-

Surely this is a problem in your head and not actually an issue.

Sounds like a form of OCD to me.

Likely that all the solutions mentioned won’t help you feel much better….you need help with your mindset towards it.

Hope you can get some help….living doing cleaning all day and never feeling satisfied can’t be a good way to live for anyone.

Im a 1 hour a week person. Fairly low standards and fine with it.

Declutter the toys, I have 3 small kids and 2 toy boxes which I go through regularly and chuck out the rubbish. Plus if they have one thing out, say colouring bits, it all goes away before anything else comes out, like the lego.

For inspiration watch the Stacey Solomon programme on BBC tonight, great storage ideas

you've just written down my life. This is it to a T.

I'm obviously not spending 6 hrs cleaning. We stop and play and watch TV and mumsnet and bums and go shop or park have lunch and second lunch and tea and supper and midnight snack. It does feel like I'm never finished cleaning though, and washing clothes and tidying up and cooking meals and washing dishes only to stop after bedtime and look around at a mess.

as I say I can usually spend a dedicated hour or 2 to tidy before guests Come round but this week the little ones just gone bloody mad and the washing machine was smelling so a load had to be done again and I left the washing for a few days while we were painting and it's picked up loads anyway.
there's always another job and I'm absolutely 100% done.
Right I've cleaned up after breakfast. I'll put a load in the machine and head out to the park for a bit. You're all right, the time flies by. When we get back hopefully It'll be nap time and I'll get those clothes folded and put away. AGAIN.

This is light hearted!

I have 3 DC and at one point was at home with all 3 when they were under five... we prioritised our cleaner ahead of many other expenses. She still comes once a fortnight and has done since DC3 was born. She properly cleans the kitchen and bathrooms, and dusts, hoovers and mops the rest. The value of the cleaner has not only been in the actual cleaning (though it is great knowing that it is all done really well at least once a fortnight - we do usually manage another clean of it ourselves between her visits) but also because it forces us to whizz through the house clearing/tidying on the Sunday night before she comes on a Monday morning. Whole family does it, it doesn't take long, makes a massive difference.

Also when I was at home with last toddler DC I had a couple of set points in the day where we tidied rather than got stuff out or played. Eg at 11.30am we'd spend 15 minutes tidying together, then DC would watch CBeebies for 15mins while I got the lunch out, then ideally they'd have a sleep (mine never slept at night so toddler naps went on well into the third year!). Same again at tea time. Kitchen was usually a disaster zone by the end of the day, but the rest of the place was passable.

I suspect the toddler is emptying stuff/ throwing cushions on the floor to get your attention because you're off cleaning all the time. Take them with you while you fold clothes if putting them away is a priority, or give them some time and play with them! I'd be climbing the walls if i was stuck in all day with someone who did nothing but housework, let alone a toddler!

As long as the kitchen and bathroom are clean, does a bit of mess really matter? Just get your children (including the toddler) to sweep up the toys into boxes once a day.

This can’t be right OP, either you have waaaaay too much stuff and no organising system, or you live in a castle and have so many rooms you can’t keep track.

I also dont understand the thing about the diahorrea!

We moved house, only have 3 but the littlest is 2. Moved at Xmas time last year and since then I feel I'm still not on top of it. I know the issue is too much stuff and storage but it's finding the time and energy between life and sickness. I did a Christmas cull but all that stuff is still hidden. Even the clean up from Christmas decorations has been an ordeal. I've empty storage because I havn't been able to actually sort stuff into it. And we havnt had about 3 days straight since Xmas where we've all been healthy. I feel like this is the first time since I don't know when where I've been floored with colds.

I can well imagine the 6 hours because you start with a coffee and scroll and then empty the dishwasher whilst it's brewing and then realise that there's gone off stuff in the fridge and clear that but the bins are full so you empty them and actually those boxes could be binned, and did I look up something so we can store stuff in that press neater, and here's the Tescos delivery and FFS I've just banged my shin on the dishwasher drawer because I didn't finish emptying it. And the place is worse than it started. Then you realise the 2 year old is quiet.

If I stayed indoors with my 2 year old she would rip the house apart. It would be a living nightmare. I take her out everyday twice a day without fail as any morning we spend in ends up in absolute bloody chaos, mess and tears. She’s like a puppy that chews skirting boards, get the toddler out the house and burn off the energy.

I’ve got twin 2yr olds and even just reading this stressed me out 😅

1. Declutter instead of cleaning.
2. Look at all your storage solutions and see what could be done better to allow toy rotation.
3. Lower your expectations.
4. Try to organise someone to help with your youngest for a portion of time or a day each week so you can do thing’s properly and just be with them happily the rest of the time x

Declutter and some storage for what you want to keep. A wise woman once said to me your not going to be on your deathbed saying I wish I did more housework. You will miss this time when they've grown up and moved out. Spend time with them while you can take toddler to a playgroup the one's I went to encouraged the children to put the toys away. The younger ones copy the older ones. Have a look at soft play. They often do toddler sessions cheaper in term time. If the weather is nice take them to the park after school. They aren't going to remember how tidy the house was but the fun times they had. They don't need so many toy's they want you spending time with them. I used to sit for hours just reading book after book to my children. Daughter would take it back and pick another one. Even encouraged her older brother to tidy after himself. My children are severly autistic. If they can do it any child can.

Every time he empties out something unnecessarily or loses interest immediately, make him pick it up again.

Play a tidy up song (you tube)every hour or so. Be consistent. Get into a routine so toddler knows the drill. To begin with, offer some sort of treat when tidying is finished eg park, snack, tv. Calmly keep reiterating that x won’t happen until it’s tidy. It’ll take ages at first and it would be easier to do it yourself but persevere. Short term pain for long term gain.

I do a big clean, provably around 4/5 hours every month where I'll do all the annoying jobs, cleaning ovens, skirting boards, walls, the stair glass etc. General tidying before I come downstairs in the morning I do upstairs, just putting whatever's been left out away, making beds, bringing laundry basket down etc. Whilst cooking dinner I'll load the dishwasher, wipe the counters, put anything left out on the table away etc. Once a week I'll give the toilets, sinks, shower screens etc a quick scrub. I'll run the hoover around for maybe 10 mins a day. Once the kids are in bed I'll spend maybe 20 mins 2/3 times a week just putting laundry away etc. I used to find my house was constantly a bomb site and I'd spend hours a day just trying to get on top of it. Now it's just quick bursts here and there and I find it easy to stay on top of and it doesn't keep me away from the kids. Maybe try finding a day to do one big clean, get it how you want it and then find a groove to maintain it with short sharp bursts of cleaning? Works for me!

Op I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if it's been mentioned.

Can you box/bag/hide some toys - put them in the garage or loft then rotate them every few weeks or something? They have renewed interest in the hidden toys and it saves so much mess as you only have half the amount of toys available at any one time.

Allocate a certain time to tidy up? Have a set 'tidy up song' with toddler to help put everything away. See if they can fill this box before the song ends for example. Give them a reward afterwards as an incentive.

Need to put something away before they get a new toy out.

Although it's hard to see the mess all day, maybe just save half an hour nearer the end of the day to tidy up, otherwise it really is just a losing battle.

This lady has some good tips. I follow her on Facebook. She admits her house used to have a lot of clutter.

My house will never be a show home my house is lived in. Its clean but not always tidy i have 3 girls who like to play but dont like tidying up as long as my kitchen and bathroom is clean we slowly do everything else. Maybe when they are teenagers i may get a show home 🙈

If you take your kids out then they aren't at home to make a mess....;-)

Every day dishes are done and put away (bring generous, total 1 hr?), also are toys (although this is probably pontless). Washing is done and put away a few times a week. I have a cleaner who spends about 2 hours a week cleaning my house (which is pretty clean and tidy, and quite a large house). But that's all the time that is spent cleaning. I don't understand how and what you are doing to spend so much time cleaning??

Ohhh I see, missed this post. Yes, well that's normal, welcome to mumhood. 80% of your time is spent cooking & cleaning

There must be some form of OCD at play as no one needs to clean for that amount of time.

Take the toddler out and they can’t make a mess then.

Oh stuff the blessed cleaning! Why does everything have to be clean? What is your toddler doing while you are cleaning?

Decide on basics: toilets cleaned once a week, spills wiped up or vacuumed up.

Believe me, you will not lie on your deathbed thinking "I wish I had done more cleaning."

Children are happier when they know that any mess they create (which they inevitably will) will not cause a decline in their parent.

Why do so much if it makes you unhappy, as it clearly is doing? Completely pointless waste of life.

Get out there with your toddler and play in the park, go to the library - anything but cleaning!

I thought this was a genius idea. She does buy the toys they like. But children often only play with something a few times.

www.mirror.co.u
k/news/uk-news/mum-rents-childrens-christmas-presents-25450973

Right so I'm actually in a really similar position, 4 kids, youngest one is 18months and we live in a small cottage with way too much stuff which in turn creates too much mess.

I have slowly been ruthlessly getting rid of 80% of our possessions, I'm not there yet but I can see the light!

Our problem has steamed from my mil buying every child sack fulls of toys several times a year(mostly things the kids have never shown an interest in) and our guilt at not just charity shopping the lot before they enter the house.

You need to get rid of the excess "stuff" it will make having a tidy up a breeze.

I 100% concur OP!

Friday I finished work early, cleaned, tidied, etc…. In literally 30 mins it was destroyed by the whirlwind known as DD. Came in stripped of uniform in living room. Helped herself to snacks - cue crumbs in kitchen.
Went in her toy room and created carnage. Sprinkling of various toys strewn around house.
Black socks that leave cottons sprinkled around the carpet drives me insane.
Of she has a bath she takes toys in there, then have to be fished out, dried and the bath cleaned.
Really need an award based system so the little horrors clean up their own toys or they’ll put in “recycling” or donated to charity!
DD is messy. Like her dad. 🤦🏼‍♀️🙄
Trails of destruction ….. 🤣