....to think men are, sorry, but AWFUL

[TrainteaAnnie]

Straight woman, mid thirties. Have had three 3 year relationships. Everyone one seemed like the 'nice' guy, the kind you can trust..
One caught with porn addiction, one found dm'ing other girls on social media, one outright cheated while drunk on a lads holiday.
I'm dating a lovely man now, but I honestly just had this feeling like... It's inevitable, at some point, he's gonna be like all the rest. I can't trust him although he's not given me reason not to.
And then there's life, every night I come on Mumsnet and read another horror story of some poor married woman, often with young DC completely blindsided by a discovery of infidelity. Or a woman married for 40 years to her best friends finding out he's used prostitutes for their entire marriage.
In the news, Megan Fox being cheated on. That horrid situation with Joe Westerman.
It's everywhere, endlessly. Men driven by their dicks ruining women's lives. Women who trust and love them. It makes me feel ok physically sick thinking about it all. I feel like I never want to talk to this guy I'm dating again even though, maybe 10 years ago, I'd be in love with him. I just emotionally can't do it anymore. Men are awful.

Help!

Believe me, no one is jealous of your marriage.

We’re just concerned that you are unable to understand saying things like “It is hard when the men you have in your life are great” like it’s something to be proud of.

I was just thinking how exhausting it must be to constantly go around correcting women and making multiple accounts to back yourself up.

Enjoy your life being afraid of all men when not all men are not awful.

I love sex as well with my man.

Firstly, I'm not correcting anyone. Secondly, I swear on my family's life I haven't made any other accounts to back myself up. Looks like there are others that agree with me.

@PartridgeInAChair

I could never be jealous of a woman who is so naive as to not understand that notwithstanding their own “perfect set up”, huge swathes of the male population are awful.

Who read stats about male violence and dismisses those who have suffered it by announcing “well my Nigel is marvellous”.

Who responds to women who are rightfully angry at the overwhelming misogyny in society by smugly stating “I’m sorry you haven’t been lucky like me”.

Why in earth would I be jealous of anyone who is so blind to the reality of the world around us.

IRONY ALERT!

I think men divide women in to two camps : Whores and angels . If they brand a woman as a white then it justifies their bad actions .

Ditto.
my husband is lovely, but if something happens to him I’d consider a relationship with a woman, but probably not another man.

Sorry meant if men brand a woman as a whore it justifies their bad actions

Well that escalated weirdly.

IME those who feel the need to randomly insert their great sex life into conversation tend to be having really shit sex.

bit like cheated on wives who make declarations of love to their hubs on socials.

no one is buying it

Don't be silly. There's a third camp.

Mumsnetters.

I agree with you OP - and it's not from reading MN all day.

It's from the appalling experiences of my daughters and family, as well as the never ending horrific news and programmes (mostly on R4) about how awful many men are and what's happening in society (mostly because of the internet). It's terrifying and only getting worse.

Oh bore off Johnny boy you genuinely bring no valid or helpful points to the thread.

You’re just getting off on the women sticking up for the Not All Man brigade because their lives are oh so perfect they are genuinely blind to see society’s issues of how women are treated and perceived by men.

Seriously go and jerk off somewhere else.

That’s nice. Have a great evening and some great sex with your husband.

You lucky old sod😉

Yep.
You and two other accounts who all happen to be posting furiously at the exact same time.
👍🏼

@2023usernameNew
My ex's dh, apparently quite the charmer and I wonder just how faithful he is.

Great post. I’m afraid that when it comes to sex, I just don’t trust men anymore. I have been disappointed too often. And I don’t mean with partners, I mean with cousins, BILs, friends, etc. I have known men cheat on their partner with sex workers. And I’ve known men I respected who were caught grooming underage girls online, viewing indecent images of children, harassing female colleagues, etc.

Clearly, judging from the statistics, lots of other women feel this way. Until very recently, women couldn’t opt out of relationships. They needed men. They needed them for financial protection, physical protection, social acceptance, a roof over their head, etc. To be a single woman over 30 was shameful. So women put up with the most unbelievable abuse, and settled for the most awful men, because anything was better than being alone.

Today, a woman can choose to be single - i.e reject the very idea of living with a man, full stop. A lot of men just can’t deal with this. They haven’t caught up with the fact that women don’t need them anymore. They might like them, or fancy them, or even love them, but they don’t need them. If they are going to form a relationship, it will be of equals, and it will be because they really love the guy, and really want to be with him, not because they need him. If a woman has a career, and owns her home, she’s not going to allow some boring, farting oaf to move in and ruin it. Men just can’t understand this. I’m sure this explains the rise of misogyny, especially online. Men yearn for the days when they had the upper hand - when women needed them, and they could take advantage.

I voted YABU although I can see where you’re coming from.

this forum is going to attract people mentioning the difficult times in their relationships because it’s a safe space to seek advice or outside opinions when you think something is off. Ordinary people who have ordinary relationships are less likely to post about their relationships here; it might seem like a lot of people have relationship issues because it’s a vocal minority that do post?

megan fox is a celebrity, her relationships are always going to be more transactional and different to the rest of us. The media will also sensationalise to attract viewers to their headlines, they may have even been paid by Megan’s PR team to write something etc.

ultimately I do think there’s some normal, decent men out there which is why I went for yabu

LexMitior, where is that statistic from and also what do you mean by young women have more choice than ever over their relationship status. I am not young at 44 but I absolutely did have choice over who I had a relationship with, have got married to or whether I wanted to at all, I was 'young' in the 00s hardly the 1950's!

If a woman has a career, and owns her home, she’s not going to allow some boring, farting oaf to move in and ruin it. you'd be surprised. Plenty of threads on here that are basically just that. Hopefully there are fewer women prepared to accept low quality men, but they definitely exist in significant numbers.

Just listen to yourself. You sarcastically state that because some women realise that not all men are rapists/murderers/adulterers, etc. their lives are absolutely perfect to the point where "they are genuinely blind to see society’s issues of how women are treated and perceived by men.".

Well, that's a real sweeping statement. Or, perhaps you forgot to type "some men"?

You can believe your theory all you like, the plain fact is you're 100% wrong.

If anything, I think the freedoms for women have regressed and we had far great expectations of what we we entitled to as women. We didn't have to look polished, Instagram ready and there was substance and reflectiveness that you were expected to have an intellectual view on. Phones have taken away the level of concentration needed for that depth of thought IME, something that made a deeper connection between the opposite sexes.