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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

On holiday and Annoyed!

348 replies

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:04

First day of holiday today and had an altercation with another guest. I have never had an argument with a stranger before so feeling a little deflated and upset. DH as usual totally dismissed my feelings and told me to just” get over it”. This other guest kept looking over our table disgusted a few times. First I thought my child was being noisy (toddler) so I told him to be quiet which he did, second time he was sucking a slice of lemon which I think is fine as he likes it and she was shouting something in another language with her family and screwing her nose and mouth at my toddler.

I was sitting opposite her on table behind so she was directly in my eyeline. Husband was sitting on the right opposite my son so no one on the seat directly infront of me so I could see her every reaction. I avoided looking at her at this point and just kept interacting with my son. Once we got up to move she was being very obvious by pointing and shouting and her whole family (3 kids and husband) were turning around looking at our table. My DH pretended he didn’t notice this and proceeded walking outside with our son I stayed back to pack his beaker etc. I then asked her if everything okay and if we did something to upset her she started yelling in English now saying it’s bad for the environment to waste food. My son and myself had eaten our food but husband had some left in his plate which she wouldn’t have seen till he got up to leave. I told her it’s not her business and she said I was destroying the planet and should be ashamed! I wish I had asked her what’s worse for the planet having 3 kids or wasting food but I obviously didn’t say it’s not nice. I was really upset and embarrassed as other guests were looking my way.

What would you have done? We have to spend next 6 days here. I’m really annoyed at this woman. It’s a small resort and we can’t go out so I will be bumping into her at every meal time. Only one restaurant here too.

OP posts:
CohenTree · 15/02/2023 22:17

Stay away from her for the rest of the holiday and if you do encounter her, just give her a blank stare.
Don't let this B get to you.

Mummy322 · 16/02/2023 00:02

Sorry everyone I didn’t get a chance to get back on here till now. Wow lots of responses! I don’t know if this woman is a bully or a racist or just crazy but she did single us out. We have done nothing that other guests have not done either. And no we did NOT pile pastries high onto our plates and leave as one poster suggested!

I won’t forgot the anger and distasteful way she looked at my family. It had nothing to do with food wastage or a messy eating toddler. Both of which are incorrect.

We are south Asians btw. Tbh I don’t care anymore about this woman. She obviously has her own issues and thought we would be an easy target.

I haven’t gone actively looking for her and have tried to just focus on my family. Maybe we have been seated close together but I don’t care to give this b*h any more time or energy.

OP posts:
Localocal · 16/02/2023 01:27

No good advice, just sorry this woman has been so horrible to you. You are not the one who doesn't belong there.

bananaAgogo · 16/02/2023 05:58

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:11

Do I need to feel embarrassed? Would you have left it as my DH is saying or would you have asked her what was wrong like I did?

No you don't. Your DH doesn't want to cause a fuss that's all and the woman can sense that and is even worse to you. Don't back down. She is a bully, so treat her as such. She probably only understands Big Stick mentality so use your words well

Aussiegirl123456 · 16/02/2023 06:47

She sounds nuts, OP. Enjoy your holiday and try to forget about her x

BlueHeelers · 16/02/2023 07:06

Don’t engage. Ignore.

I’m with your husband on this.

Peppermintpatty24 · 16/02/2023 17:42

You know what?, I would have just ignored the beatch, (deliberate misspelling), unless she got up into my face....then we'd (she'd) have a problem. Just carry yourself with dignity, and don't waste any oxygen on her 💐

Aly1977 · 16/02/2023 17:43

You have every right to be upset I know I’d have reacted the same way how dare she behave that way, I have worked as a kids rep/rep do you have English speaking reps on the resort? If so I would have a word with them about what’s happened and ask if they or the hotel management can have a word, it’s defo not ok for her to behave that way at all and I’d be livid I really hope it doesn’t spoil your holiday, sending you a big hug x x x

Bogeyes · 16/02/2023 17:45

Just laugh in her face

Grammarnut · 16/02/2023 17:45

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:08

my DH keeps saying I shouldn’t be upset and he’s getting angry that I’m letting a stranger spoil our holiday.

He's right. Ignore the silly woman. Leaving food is not going to destroy the planet, spilling oil all over the Niger delta will, she should try complaining about that instead. Tell her to mind her own business if she says something similar again and then ignore her - everyone else probably will!

Grammarnut · 16/02/2023 17:46

Aly1977 · 16/02/2023 17:43

You have every right to be upset I know I’d have reacted the same way how dare she behave that way, I have worked as a kids rep/rep do you have English speaking reps on the resort? If so I would have a word with them about what’s happened and ask if they or the hotel management can have a word, it’s defo not ok for her to behave that way at all and I’d be livid I really hope it doesn’t spoil your holiday, sending you a big hug x x x

Don't go to that trouble. She's not worth the bother. Just ignore her.

Mumof32017 · 16/02/2023 17:46

I’d have told the nosy bitch to fuck off but that’s just me. Can’t abide obnoxious arseholes like that.

Mischance · 16/02/2023 17:48

Ask to be moved to a different table.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 16/02/2023 17:52

She could well have gone home the day after the incident.

she was rude. She may have been racist, it’s hard to tell from here. You confronted her, as I would have too. You’ve not seen her again. Perfect!

I really hope you’ve not let this one off incident spoil your holiday.

Vynalbob · 16/02/2023 17:58

She is bonkers.
No I wouldn't have asked (as I couldn't give a flying xxxx) but you were trying to be sociable so YANBU
Feels completely batxxxt so maybe you're right....
Please don't hide away but if you're sitting together make sure your OH is looking their way.

tbh I'm a bit unsociable so would make it my side hobby to irritate them ...
Smile & wave, smile & wave

If it carries on have a word with the manager maybe

Adkim · 16/02/2023 18:01

I'd look down my nose at her, with distain, then flick her away with a sweeping hand gesture. End of any recognition.

blahblah33 · 16/02/2023 18:08

I wouldn't have asked her what was wrong but I don't think you were wrong in doing so. I'd have pretended I hadn't seen her and got on with lunch. Had she said something to me first I'd have laughed and told her to eff off and that's that. Crazy woman! Don't feel embarrassed, she should be embarrassed, it will be her people are looking at.

fatchilli123 · 16/02/2023 18:10

I'm horrible, I would be packing every last scrap on our plates in a napkin or two and presenting them to her as a gift telling her she needs to save me from my wastrel ways 🤣and bounce off happily in the knowledge that it would pee her off big time 😂

ScotsGranny2 · 16/02/2023 18:12

I'm glad to hear that you have moved on a little from your earlier encounter and are now focusing on your own family and enjoy your holiday. Sometimes doing and saying nothing is best as she has no ammunition. Have a great holiday!

AlBG · 16/02/2023 18:12

This is really really strange behaviour. She sounds at best unhinged, imagine being that worried about what other people aren’t eating! Avoid and ignore - laugh it off, water off a ducks back, have a fab hols and try not to think further about her x

RyanRenolds · 16/02/2023 18:13

Ignore ignore ignore, she's rude and racist, she doesn't deserve a second thought. Enjoy your holiday x

Annemaria · 16/02/2023 18:19

I’m on your side. Try not be be upset, although it’s difficult. Just say: “ Bon soir Madame Je Sais Tout as you walk past her then ignore her.

user1465390476 · 16/02/2023 18:20

How awful but I do love a good feud on holiday. Last one was with a French man who was really arrogant and expected everyone to move out of his way. I quite enjoyed giving him dirty looks knowing I’ll never see him again.
I know it’s hard but just try to enjoy the rest of your holiday, as much as you can have a holiday with a toddler.

menopausalbloat · 16/02/2023 18:31

Fuck her and her nonsense. Completely ignore her. If you're in her eyesight, move your chair so you don't have to look at her pathetic face.
Enjoy your holiday. If she gets up in your face, tell management.

Justbefair · 16/02/2023 18:34

My goodness, after seeing what some people leave on their plate after their 30th round in AI, this is just so petty and ridiculous. Sounds like she has a problem and you won't be the only other guests or most likely staff she has done this to. Please try to ignore and next time maybe all lick your plates and glasses? You could even make it part of the holiday interest to sit away from them and watch from a distance? X