To wonder why some men hate women so much?

[girlfriend44]

What's with all the misogyny?
Why do some men hate women so much.
Men can't exist without women?
All men have a mother!
Can't understand the likes of Wayne Couzens either he was married to a woman and had a daughter, yet he raped and killed a woman.
Why didn't he care that his daughter now has to grow up knowing her father hated women and killed one?

It's a good question and I don't have any answers. I wish I knew. I think getting to the root of this is crucial to dealing with VAWG.

<waits for the "not all men" and "women do it too" posts . . .>

A culture of toxic masculinity makes some men feel they're entitled to treat women as inferior and can take what they wants from them including their lives. Many men don't want to challenge this system because they've spent so long benefiting from the privileges it grants that all attempts at equality feel like oppression to them.

And the MRAs and incels use those attempts at equality to further their rhetoric that women are actively trying to harm men which then pushes the ideals of toxic masculinity even more.

I think it may be linked to testosterone, which is why men are so much more violent than women.

I got into a disagreement with a man on SM the other day. Basically along the lines of a woman asking for something because of what she was wearing. As if that wasn't depressing enough, some women were backing him!
You just can't reason with stupid

After every step forward in women's rights there is always a period of pushback from those who don't like us "knowing our place."

Caroline Criado-Perez's newsletter this week is on the same topic and is well worth a read.

open.substack.com/pub/carolinecriadoperez/p/invisible-women-men-who-hate-women?r=8zvnz&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

Because they can't have sex with us. Because we have he audacity to reject them and they cannot cope.

It feels to me like the genders have turned on each other and there is a lot of tribalism between us now, maybe its social media, maybe the push for equality i'm not sure.

Oops, that should be "not knowing our place".

Basically some men don't like the fact that many women won't kow tow to men and their wants/desires.

Hundreds, actually thousands of years of social conditioning based around distrust and sexual hatred. Society hates women so why wouldn't men? Lots of women tend to hate other women too (internal misogyny is hundreds of years old too), although its usually expressed in a different way.

It’s for similar reasons that many people hate members of the “other”. The same reasons that some women hate men, the same reasons some white people hate black peoples, the same reason some Pakistani hate Indians, the same reason some tenants hate landlords, the same reason gangs hate members of other gangs…

They blame them for their problems, usually without basis but with sufficient foundation to convince themselves (or be convinced by others) that it’s a fair blame.

Some men hate women because they blame women for their place in society - this is the premise of incel culture. Men are only respected in life if they are what women find attractive - almost no unattractive men are successful. That creates a bizarre chicken-and-egg style narrative where some men think that if women found them attractive then they would be successful (rather than the, more likely, reality that if they were successful then women would find them attractive). They then blame women for not finding them attractive - if women changed then their life would be better. That’s the crux of it really.

In addition, with increased equality and autonomy, women are taking from men what used to be theirs. The best jobs, the best opportunities, housework-free lives, childcare-free lives etc - all of that has been stripped away by women establishing themselves as equal. Some men don’t like that. Some men find that their lives are harder because of it.

Their attitudes are obviously wrong, but it’s not hard to see how they’ve either ignorantly convinced themselves into that belief or been manipulated by others into thinking that way. These men hate women because if we prioritised their desires over our own then their life would be better - they view us as powerful and uncaring and they completely fail to recognise that we’re entitled to prioritise our happiness over theirs.

There’s a woman on Twitter who posts most days the reports of things that men do to women.

The replies are nearly all from men telling her she’s unhinged, that by calling the perpetrators men she’s implicating all men, that women do it too, that she needs a good shag, that she should never work again etc (you get the gist!).

All those men spend so much energy in calling out cannot understand that in fighting the people calling this out instead of calling out the perpetrators themselves, they are part of the problem.

Rules of misogyny spring to mind, especially these ones….

10. The worst thing about male violence is that it makes men look bad.

11. Women’s ability to recognise male behaviour patterns is misandry.

12. Angry women are crazy. Angry men have trouble expressing themselves.

13. Women have all the rights they need: The right to remain silent.

"Women have very little idea how much men hate them' " Germaine Greer, 'The Female Eunuch ' 1970

DOI: I knew Sarah Everard (I used to work with her) so I'm not necessarily the most clear-headed on this particular subject.

For me, I think a lot of it is around unprocessed anger and fear. I don't think we teach our kids to deal with anger appropriately (which is a perfectly natural and normal emotion that we all experience from time to time). When there's no outlet, anger toxifies, and can (in certain personality types) lead to violent outbursts, assaults and attacks, and a perceived need to 'punch down'.

I also think we've got a culture that, thanks to thousands of years of religion ruling society, still seeks to hand men the control of girls and women — everything from their bodies to their behaviour. Combine that with long-term repressed/unprocessed anger, and you get a really nasty outcome.

To clarifiy - when I say many women hate other women, I mean they buy into the thousands of years of tropes represented in literature and culture etc. None of these ideas are new. People get very angry about women, especially women who are "out of control" of society and dont play by the rules.

I haven’t seen this rules before but rule 13 resonates with me.

A few years ago, I was invited to speak on a topic professionally (but it is a topic where my personal experience was relevant). At the end of the event, there was a panel discussing what was said which included the head of my city’s council. To be clear, nothing I said was relevant to the council or a criticism of them, they were completely irrelevant to the topic in hand. The head of the council, when asked for his thoughts, said “well, she’s a very angry young lady, isn’t she?”. I’m grateful that another man on the panel jumped in and said “of course she’s angry, we’re all bloody angry”. Nothing I said was “angry” in my opinion. I didn’t shout, I didn’t swear, I was invited to speak at an event organised by others and I was asked for my opinion based on my professional experience on that matter. But all of that was dismissed as “she’s an angry lady, ignore what she’s said”.

@NecklessMumster I remember reading The Female Eunuch as a teenager in the 1990s and being shocked by that line, incredulous even. Since the advent of the internet, men's hatred of women has become incontrovertible, almost mundane I feel. Depressing, but at least we can see the enemy more clearly now.

I read it young too, I've never forgotten it, it's depressing that it's still relevant but I think there is more conversation and vocabulary around it now.

And men hating women, doesn’t even make sense!
What did women ever do?

Now, women hating men would make total sense, everything they’ve done and continue to do, it would be understandable if women would want revenge.
Still, most of the women really seem to, still, like and value men and want them in their lives.
Even if the man clearly doesn’t see women as equal people to them.
It’s absolutely crazy!

@Chickenly here are the full list of rules

It’s always been the case- well since some man created religion.
This is not some new thing. It’s always been the case but now women (and some men) are calling it out and challenging misogyny.
It starts with teaching the story of Adam and Eve. Eve is a bitch and poor, poor Adam is the victim. Islam is used to justify harming women and girls. Women are bitches who should stfu and stay indoors, servicing men.
This bollocks is used as justification for hating and harming all females the world over.

@Dijoduo

the same reason some Pakistani hate Indians

Let me guess... you're Indian

Try to be a little balanced instead of picking on one minority.

Cavemum thanks for posting that, so true.

No, I’m not… by what possible logic have I picked on one minority? Did you not read how many minorities were listed in my post before you highlighted and copied just one of them and decided to accuse me of something you know isn’t true? I listed many, many, many groups in my post. That was the actual point. I’m neither Indian nor Pakistani - and I said nothing offensive, I stated an indisputable fact.