To think parents who let their kids 'play out' are just completely abdicating responsibility for their kids' behaviour?

[MaybeIWillFuckOffThen]

We have a little walled playground near our house - little climbing frame, slide, stepping stones, toddler swing, very clearly aimed at a young primary/pre-school audience.

It's currently being completely taken over by a huge group of 10-12 preteen/early teen boys playing very rough games of football with real leather footballs. The bang the balls off the walls and hoof them in the air so they go careering everywhere at speed, they run around roughly after the ball pushing and shoving each other and getting in other people's personal space, they fight and shout aggressively and swear. Not a parent in sight of course so no-one to appeal to to get them to moderate their behaviour/find a more suitable venue (like say the massive park 5 minutes walk away). I've had a word now and again but generally just get mutinous stares and/or backchat. I can't really take my kids (2 and 6) there to play any more as it isn't safe for them and the atmosphere is so aggressive.

Why do people just turn their kids out of doors with no idea where they're going/what they're doing? It makes it impossible for other parents - either they have to tell your kid off for you (immediately in the wrong) or they simply have to either put up with inappropriate, loutish behaviour or give way to it and leave.

This. I have a toddler DS and he's cuddly, affectionate, the most friendly little boy you could meet. It's a bit sad other parents may view him negatively simply because he's a boy.
We need to make men and boys part of the solution - calling out behaviour when necessary yes - but not by demonising them without reason.

I just don’t believe these boys, who are being ‘rough’ and ‘flying about’ and being fast are playing football within the confines of a tiny space between play equipment. If they were they wouldn’t be rough and flying about.

What I suspect is that they ARE playing next to the little park, and the ball rolls by the OP’s toddler occasionally.

Nonone should be playing football in a muddy clearing, it’s dangerous and filthy and probably full of dog shit

Absolutely spot on

It's a massively important part of development to play out and develop freedom in small steps, it's relationship building and exercise. It's unhealthy keeping your child indoors.

OP, I have no idea why you are getting the backlash you are. I think you are being very reasonable. There is a bigger park close by more suitable to play football in from a practical point of view. There is also an area within the contested playground more suitable to play football in, than the immediate area around the small kids' equipment. The boys avoid both options. There is some argumentation for staying away from the Big Bad Park, but the second option surely would have been a good compromise.

If I were the mum of one of the boys involved, I would be unhappy with them doing this. And yes, their parents should have a vague idea where they hang out (in general), with whom, doing what. If the football boys struggle to find a safe space for them to play in, then it is upon their parents to contact the council and petition for a more suitable space, not for the football boys to usurp a space meant for much younger kids.

People keep on talking about the development of the football kids, their independence, etc., but do not seem to take into account that playing on the playground equipment also has important developmental benefits for your kids (who don't have an alternative).

Which not one person on this thread has said. All they have said is that the boys can play on any of the millions of free public football pitches provided rather than in an area designed for toddlers.

Thing is they aren't actually doing anything wrong, are they? They are just playing football. They are just as entitled to use the park as you are. Perhaps you need to take a more cooperative approach rather than telling them off, eg explain the ball is scary for your toddler and suggest they keep their game in a different area of the park? Kicking a ball against a wall isn't a crime.

Surely at least the op can take her 2yr old to the play park when the older children are at school? Or are they all playing truant now, too?

My DD plays ball games at the park opposite the house on the green , the bigger park has teenagers who swear and have drink ,drugs and smoking . She and her friends know this park is safe for them I'm sure if an adult asked nicely they would move the game.

Yes, they are doing something wrong. They are playing football in a 'little walled playground with play equipment designed for toddlers' rather than on the actual football pitches provided nearby.

Sadly they might need a big grumpy Daddy to speak to them about playing footie in a little kiddies playground.

No?

Exact same behaviour as the football OP mentioned though - which my post was mainly about?

Am I now allowed to include my personal experience, as other posters do?

YANBU.

I took my children (aged 3-7) to a park yesterday and there was several groups of children aged I reckon 11/12+ in the park and they completely took over. They hogged the swings, the roundabout, even the climbing frames and slides and they seemed to either not give a damn or find it amusing.

And to the posters saying wait til you’ve got pre teens/teens, I certainly won’t be allowing my children to roam the parks and behave like them and I was never allowed to.

Playing football is not the same as blocking children from using equipment and smoking FGS.

So you went to the park and witnessed children using the equipment?

I kind of don’t disagree with this. But the delivery made me sick in my mouth.

Well 11-12 is the age where you can still use the park it's not exclusive to young children. Better that than in the house staring at a screen, ask them politely can your children have a go. They move .

11yo children playing in a park?

Did you call 101?

Disgraceful behaviour

Yes, that’s the ONLY option here is for a grown man to threaten 8yo boys.

Should grown men also scare 8yo girls?

I don't know why you are getting such a hard time. Clearly a playground designed for toddlers and preschoolers is not an appropriate place for older kids to play football. If they are not considerate enough to understand that they are not mature enough to play unsupervised.

You think this isn't true? I know we don't like to think about it.

Where did I say threaten? I said speak.

By that logic OP shouldn’t be there either with her 6yo

The backlash is mainly for suggesting that parents are abdicating responsibility by letting their older kids play out. I get the OP’s frustration but when you let them go out you can’t possibly know exactly where they are and what they are doing the whole time, you can only hope they are behaving nicely but you can’t guarantee that the friends they are with are also behaving.

IF my child told me exactly what they’d been doing, or mentioned that someone had got cross with them, then I would talk to him/her about being considerate and not annoying others but I wouldn’t insist on accompanying them to the park to supervise.