MIL has my Valentine gift

[CloudySuns]

About 5 years ago, DH bought me a few gifts for valentines day including a mug, it was very distinctive being red with 'love you' on it.

I really liked this mug. It would cheer me up whenever I looked at it, it was a perfect size for my coffee, comfy handle, just a nice mug. I used it daily.

A few years ago we stayed with MIL between house moves for 4 weeks, and I took my favourite mug.

I noticed her using it a few times, fine, okay, fair enough we were staying there. But when we moved out, and I couldn't find this mug. I swear I packed it but it wasn't in the box with other mugs.

The next time we visited MIL, I noticed my mug in her cupboard. I thought oh good, I can't have packed it! I brought it out and said I'd been looking for it and phew there it was!

She said NO that's her mug. That someone bought it for her. I asked who? She couldn't remember.

This mug is very distinctive, even with a little scratch I made by accident the first week I had it, so I know it's my mug.

Of course I'd be a right knob to have argued further, so I put it back in her cupboard. It's just a mug but every valentines day I think about it and it irks me! It was my mug!

Oh, please do this! It's worth £14 IMO.

Then after the substitute mug has been secretly swapped, when she's next at yours, say "oh look, great news - I found my mug!"

Her reaction may be interesting. If she knows she nicked it, she'll either be confused or know you've done it, but be unable to say anything without admitting it or looking bonkers.

Or if she's genuinely confused then the problem has been solved amicably, job done.

good point.

It will make her head spin on her shoulders to know there are 2 IDENTICAL MUGS and she probably won't know which one she stole.

Seriously, its a mug. It’s just stuff, let it go.Laugh about it, batty old dear nicked a mug, life’s too short.

@Xol ...exactly...I either rely on the 'communal' mugs in the office kitchen or bring in something fairly cheap and mundane.

She put you up for 4 weeks. Let it go.

Agree! This would be hilarious! At work once someone left out a tray bake. We ate it. Went back in 10 mins later and the tray bake was back. Everyone was baffled, there was no mistaking everyone’s obvious confusion. That’ll smoke her out for sure.

I think she's taken you for a muggins. 😂

Of course I'd be a right knob to have argued further, so I put it back in her cupboard. It's just a mug but every valentines day I think about it and it irks me! It was my mug!

@CloudySuns I don't understand this at all. Why would you be "a right knob" to just say directly this was a valentines day present from DH, I love it, heres the scratch on it, I brought it here previously and I've been looking for it?

I just don't understand if you like it that much why you just didn't say it was your property and you were taking it back.

It's not knobish. Knobish is stealing your mug and pretending its hers.

It is just a mug but I am petty so if this was me, it'd be my hill to die on.

Take the mug.

I'd take it back and leave her a picture of the mug just to be nice and all that 😂

I don't want to make it a Thing.

But you care enough to start a thread. YANBU. Just take it next time you’re there - no discussion.

Exactly this!
So bizarre.
You most definitely would remember.

@CloudySuns Rescue it back.
”Purify” it by washing under running water imagining her vibes being washed away.

Ideally you’d have just quietly taken it from the cupboard.
Good 🍀 Luck!

I think: a permanent marker and write in the bottom of the mug something sinister: you know what you did. Give me back
So that when she tips it up or pours her drink she knows you know.
Or just initial it on the bottom and say: "see mil, I told you it was mine"

Soak it overnight with a denture tablet dissolved in it. That should leave it clean and feeling like you’ve cleansed MIL from it. Even better if the tablet is stolen from MIL’s house.

Wouldn't it be funny if you stole your mug back then in a few months found an identical one (even with the scratch) in a packing case........😆

We did pay her a month's rent! And I cooked/cleaned/did DIY jobs for her. But I do still think she was very generous to let us stay.

Okay I think I'll have to just be miffed forever about my mug, but leave it with her. I can't bring myself to get it back and then worry every time she comes over!

I think she must genuinely believe it's hers. Hopefully I'll get over it...

Though...I might do the pen idea on all my remaining mugs in case she takes a fancy...

You're being a mug not taking it back!

Blimey just shove it in your bag next time you're over.

Steal the mug back. Have one of those photo mugs made for her, with a photo of your love mug on it.

You're too nice OP, take it back! You will honestly be annoyed forever. Take it from someone who is similarly frustrated by little things and can't get over them 😂Or buy a new one and consider it £14 worth of mental health boosting!

That’s next-level guerilla tactics, I love it

We’re invested now @CloudySuns . You have to get the mug back. Do it for us even if you don’t want to do it for you. Big handbag or tote bag next time and shove the mug in there as soon as MIL leaves the room for the loo or something. It’s your mug. You know it is.

Your missing mug deserves to go home to you.

I’m on the other side of the world in Australia and I need to know that you’ll get the mug back. Send DH to get it. GET THE MUG.

Sounds to me like MIL has convinced herself that her son, your dh bought the mug for her (conveniently) and not you!

Buy yourself the mug and then take £14 from the budget for MILs bday or Xmas, whichever is next.

We’re invested now @CloudySuns . You have to get the mug back. Do it for us even if you don’t want to do it for you.

@BananaBender is right!

DO WE MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?

😢