Page 8 | MIL has my Valentine gift

CloudySuns · 2023-02-14T07:57:45+00:00

About 5 years ago, DH bought me a few gifts for valentines day including a mug, it was very distinctive being red with 'love you' on it. I really liked this mug. It would cheer me up whenever I looked at it, it was a perfect size for my coffee, comfy handle, just a nice mug. I used it daily. A few years ago we stayed with MIL between house moves for 4 weeks, and I took my favourite mug. I noticed her using it a few times, fine, okay, fair enough we were staying there. But when we moved out, and I couldn't find this mug. I swear I packed it but it wasn't in the box with other mugs. The next time we visited MIL, I noticed my mug in her cupboard. I thought oh good, I can't have packed it! I brought it out and said I'd been looking for it and phew there it was! She said NO that's her mug. That someone bought it for her. I asked who? She couldn't remember. This mug is very distinctive, even with a little scratch I made by accident the first week I had it, so I know it's my mug. Of course I'd be a right knob to have argued further, so I put it back in her cupboard. It's just a mug but every valentines day I think about it and it irks me! It was my mug!

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 12:18

It's a mug ......

Teaandtoast3 · 14/02/2023 12:22

Next time you are there put it in your handbag. Job done

SpeckledlyHen · 14/02/2023 12:23

Does her name start with a V and contain 4 letters? If so, that would be an old "friend" of mine.

She stole/kept everything or anything that belonged to someone else and then insisted it was hers. So if you lent her a top for a night out, then asked for it back she would insist it was hers.. It runs a lot deeper than this but I can't go there and type it all out.

I once left a travel mug in her car by mistake, many months later it was on her draining board when I went round to her house, I said "oh great! that's where my travel mug went" and she insisted it was hers.. Even after I pointed out it had my name engraved on it.. She then asked if I was calling her a liar....

She is no longer a friend.

UdoU · 14/02/2023 12:27

Next time you’re at MIL’s, take a large hand bag and take back your mug.

And then pleas ignorance if ever notices it missing.

Datchat · 14/02/2023 12:29

Similar thing happened to me a couple of years ago, I had a really lovely mug with quite a distinctive floral design on it, I made the mistake of using it at work and one day it went missing and a couple of days later I caught one of the new starters making her coffee in it, I commented that it was my 'lost' mug only to be greeted with a smile and a flat denial before she strolled of with it...I waited till the 'new starters' induction day (which was off site) and went and nicked it back and 'spirited' it off home. Might seem petty but I felt an immense sense of satisfaction knowing I'd got back what was mine !

ItsCalledAConversation · 14/02/2023 12:29

You’re being mugged off.

Steal it back in the most undetectable way possible (rope in children/ other family members etc if necessary) possibly under pretence of sleeping over/ cover of darkness.

When she finds it back in your cupboard deny all knowledge.

UdoU · 14/02/2023 12:31

ItsCalledAConversation · 14/02/2023 12:29

You’re being mugged off.

Steal it back in the most undetectable way possible (rope in children/ other family members etc if necessary) possibly under pretence of sleeping over/ cover of darkness.

When she finds it back in your cupboard deny all knowledge.

MIL will just steal it back so mug should be hidden behind the cans of food OP never eats when MIL comes visiting.

endoftheworldniteclub · 14/02/2023 12:35

UdoU · 14/02/2023 12:31

MIL will just steal it back so mug should be hidden behind the cans of food OP never eats when MIL comes visiting.

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Or she coukd knit some sort of mug cozy to put over the mug when mil visits.

endoftheworldniteclub · 14/02/2023 12:37

Maybe the colours for the mug cozy could be blue and white like mil’s all other mugs.

Emotionalsupportviper · 14/02/2023 12:43

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 08:03

DH is totally with me, he knows it's the one he bought.

He said he would pinch it back for me, or just tell her it is my mug but I don't want to make it a Thing. I mean, it is just a mug.

He did buy me another nice mug when I told him! But it's not quite as perfect as the stolen mug...

Plus do I want it back now she's using it?

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Of course you want it back, if only so that you can ceremonially smash it and dump it in the bin.

I wouldn't let this rest - I would be plotting a counter attack (ie stealing it back) and then would make a point of publicly using it every time she came round. If she challenged me I would say - "It IS like yours, isn't it? I thought I'd lost it but luckily it turned up under a car seat." Then I would take a leisurely sip whilst looking her directly in the eye, drying her to challenge the veracity of my statement. BRING IT ON!

OR

Next time you are at hers drop it onto a hard floor.

BananaBender · 14/02/2023 12:43

@SpeckledlyHen Did you get your travel mug back from the lying person?

OP should get the mug back then padlock it in the cupboard so MIL can’t take it. Perhaps one of those mobile phone jails to lock it in? Put it on the bench when MIL is going to visit and make a joke about how you found it and you’re making sure it can never go missing again.

Emotionalsupportviper · 14/02/2023 12:44

*defying, not drying

SpeckledlyHen · 14/02/2023 12:46

BananaBender · 14/02/2023 12:43

@SpeckledlyHen Did you get your travel mug back from the lying person?

OP should get the mug back then padlock it in the cupboard so MIL can’t take it. Perhaps one of those mobile phone jails to lock it in? Put it on the bench when MIL is going to visit and make a joke about how you found it and you’re making sure it can never go missing again.

No, never got it back, along with loads of other stuff she took. I did get a bit of wicked revenge though (it involved pints of milk poured into her wellies and a hot summer).

Epicstorm · 14/02/2023 12:47

I’d buy the new mug (irritating though it may be). Then I’d sneak it into MIL’s cupboard ( just for the sake of peace) and take my original.

TomatoSandwiches · 14/02/2023 12:50

Depends if I liked my mil I would just let her have it but make a joke about how we all know it was originally mine, perhaps even get her a matching one with " DIL loves you too "
If I didn't like her I'd probably accidently drop it.

thegreencomet · 14/02/2023 12:56

Steal it back. Put a horrid mug from a charity shop in its place. If she notices it while you are still in the house and wonders where this odd mug in her cupboard came from, say someone must have given it to her.

UdoU · 14/02/2023 12:59

endoftheworldniteclub · 14/02/2023 12:35

Or she coukd knit some sort of mug cozy to put over the mug when mil visits.

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This is ingenious.

Kiitos · 14/02/2023 13:05

Collaborate · 14/02/2023 10:12

This is the kind of thing my mum used to do - turned out it was the early stages of dementia - seeing something and assuming it was hers.

Same 🙁
I know this is a lighthearted thread but unfortunately that was my first thought too

endoftheworldniteclub · 14/02/2023 13:06

UdoU · 14/02/2023 12:59

This is ingenious.

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If op can’t knit I’m sure someone on MN can help her out. I can’t knit sadly. ☹️

OhwhyOY · 14/02/2023 13:09

Just take it! She's probably not going to notice, and if she does just deny all knowledge. She's almost certainly pinched it from you in the first place. Then if she sees it at your house just say 'no DH got that for me, I can show you the receipt if you want!' If it's annoyed you this long it will annoy you forever, just take it! If she complains she's missing a mug and seems genuinely upset buy h3r a new mug for birthday or Christmas.

Xol · 14/02/2023 13:13

Datchat · 14/02/2023 12:29

Similar thing happened to me a couple of years ago, I had a really lovely mug with quite a distinctive floral design on it, I made the mistake of using it at work and one day it went missing and a couple of days later I caught one of the new starters making her coffee in it, I commented that it was my 'lost' mug only to be greeted with a smile and a flat denial before she strolled of with it...I waited till the 'new starters' induction day (which was off site) and went and nicked it back and 'spirited' it off home. Might seem petty but I felt an immense sense of satisfaction knowing I'd got back what was mine !

I had a similar thing at work once. We had a number of miscellaneous mugs, some people brought their own in, and I did too because I like a large mug of tea when I have it . Someone senior in my department took a fancy to my mug and always used to grab it if she got to the kettle first. What was particularly galling was that she only used to have one cup a day, so the used mug just stayed on her desk gathering dust the rest of the day. I took to washing the cup and hiding it in my desk overnight, but for various reasons that wasn't always possible and we got into a silent battle of "Who will get to the mug first?"

Eventually, and inevitably, I decided the only recourse was to take my mug home and replace it with something bog standard and unenticing. For some time afterwards, I used to see colleague hunting in a frustrated way amongst the mugs every morning, which I have to say I found quite gratifying.

Marshmallowmountain · 14/02/2023 13:15

WeCome1 · 14/02/2023 07:59

Have you told DH? I would get him to pinch it back. I’m petty though.

Yeah I’d do this 😂

WeepingSomnambulist · 14/02/2023 13:19

Xol · 14/02/2023 13:13

I had a similar thing at work once. We had a number of miscellaneous mugs, some people brought their own in, and I did too because I like a large mug of tea when I have it . Someone senior in my department took a fancy to my mug and always used to grab it if she got to the kettle first. What was particularly galling was that she only used to have one cup a day, so the used mug just stayed on her desk gathering dust the rest of the day. I took to washing the cup and hiding it in my desk overnight, but for various reasons that wasn't always possible and we got into a silent battle of "Who will get to the mug first?"

Eventually, and inevitably, I decided the only recourse was to take my mug home and replace it with something bog standard and unenticing. For some time afterwards, I used to see colleague hunting in a frustrated way amongst the mugs every morning, which I have to say I found quite gratifying.

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Why didnt you just keep your mug in your desk?

That's how it is done everywhere I have worked. Community mugs in the kitchen. Personal favourite mugs in desks.

Xol · 14/02/2023 13:22

WeepingSomnambulist · 14/02/2023 13:19

Why didnt you just keep your mug in your desk?

That's how it is done everywhere I have worked. Community mugs in the kitchen. Personal favourite mugs in desks.

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Various reasons which are too long and tedious to set out here.

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 14/02/2023 13:28

@CloudySuns You need a new mug.

You need one that says I LOVE YOU MORE on it.

My mum tried to tell me that the Snoopy PJs (that DH bought for me) were hers after I found them in her laundry pile...erm, no
I removed them and took them straight back to his house where they'd be safe

She also tried similar with a handbag years earlier. She'd tipped out all of my stuff and shoved all of hers in it while I was at work - I let her keep that, but maybe I shouldn't have.