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AIBU?

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Original poster

MIL has my Valentine gift

368 replies

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 07:57

About 5 years ago, DH bought me a few gifts for valentines day including a mug, it was very distinctive being red with 'love you' on it.

I really liked this mug. It would cheer me up whenever I looked at it, it was a perfect size for my coffee, comfy handle, just a nice mug. I used it daily.

A few years ago we stayed with MIL between house moves for 4 weeks, and I took my favourite mug.

I noticed her using it a few times, fine, okay, fair enough we were staying there. But when we moved out, and I couldn't find this mug. I swear I packed it but it wasn't in the box with other mugs.

The next time we visited MIL, I noticed my mug in her cupboard. I thought oh good, I can't have packed it! I brought it out and said I'd been looking for it and phew there it was!

She said NO that's her mug. That someone bought it for her. I asked who? She couldn't remember.

This mug is very distinctive, even with a little scratch I made by accident the first week I had it, so I know it's my mug.

Of course I'd be a right knob to have argued further, so I put it back in her cupboard. It's just a mug but every valentines day I think about it and it irks me! It was my mug!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
SisterAgatha · 14/02/2023 11:29

So I meant to say that it’s 100% worth the £14. Even if you can’t see it now 🤣 Opening my cupboard door and seeing those mugs is worth every penny.

Bemyclementine · 14/02/2023 11:30

Just steal it back and feign ignorance.

SoosanCarter · 14/02/2023 11:33

Make her a frothy coffee and spit in it

Topsyturvy78 · 14/02/2023 11:40

Just take it back and don't mention it. A family member of mine was insisting a water bottle of my daughter's was her's. I knew it was my daughters because I had two others different colours and I had put a pink top on a purple bottle because they're her favourite colours. So knew she couldn't have bought a single one exactly the same. I know my sister if someone has something she wants she will just use it and claim it as her's. But when it's something she's took off my disabled daughter I wasn't letting it lie.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 14/02/2023 11:43

Topsyturvy78 · 14/02/2023 11:40

Just take it back and don't mention it. A family member of mine was insisting a water bottle of my daughter's was her's. I knew it was my daughters because I had two others different colours and I had put a pink top on a purple bottle because they're her favourite colours. So knew she couldn't have bought a single one exactly the same. I know my sister if someone has something she wants she will just use it and claim it as her's. But when it's something she's took off my disabled daughter I wasn't letting it lie.

Did you take it back?

Devoutspoken · 14/02/2023 11:43

It's a mug

endoftheworldniteclub · 14/02/2023 11:44

Devoutspoken · 14/02/2023 11:43

It's a mug

It’s a memory.

PeachyIsThinking · 14/02/2023 11:47

I like the idea above with DH ‘finding’ it but if I wanted to be less confrontational I’d get someone on Etsy to make a copy of the original and do a sneaky swap next time you’re there. She can hardly ask if you have the mug with the scratch you made can she? Get DH to do the swap to reduce potential MIL dramas.

WeepingSomnambulist · 14/02/2023 11:49

I have 2 sons and I cant imagine marking my territory like this. Nicking a "love you" mug from my son's partner would be mad. She might as well climb into your bed.

Topsyturvy78 · 14/02/2023 11:50

I did but DD wanted to take it with her when she went for a sleepover and she took it back. I'm really annoyed because it's her favourite and will drink more out of it than her others when it's hot. I don't drive so when I take her out I have our water bottles in a backpack. She does drive and doesn't even go shopping. I know her husband wouldn't spend £8 on a water bottle.

sugarapplelane · 14/02/2023 11:51

Just take it back when you’re next round there. Covertly of course.
MIL has no shame (and I would bet she knows it’s not hers)so you shouldn’t either.
I imagine she won’t have the guts to then ask you where it is as she’ll know she was in the wrong in the first place.
she knows!!!

PonyPatter44 · 14/02/2023 11:51

This is the best thread I've read in weeks. I am fairly sure the Balkan War started in much the same way as this...

Topsyturvy78 · 14/02/2023 11:52

It is a bit weird. I get the impression she only wants it knowing her son bought it and pretending he bought it for her.

ItsaStupidSillyThing · 14/02/2023 11:53

Honestly op, YANBU, what a cheek! I don't know what it is about mug thieves but there are quite a few. Dh bought me a large Christmas mug when we first met, it was for my hot chocolates and the kind you see in movies. When I moved in with dh I couldn't find it, asked my df and dm if they'd had it after house move and they swore blind they didn't. I was uoset because you couldn't now get anything as nice anywhere anymore. Then, years later in DF's cupboard what did I find? My bloody mug! He was sheepish and had no memory of how it got there!

My dm also used my personal everyday mug when she stayed (that I've had and kept lovely for years) without my knowledge, there are plenty of other cups but no she used mine, she's doesn't wash it properly and leaves tea in it, it ended up all stained. Dh hid it from her😂

APlaceOfGreaterSafety · 14/02/2023 11:53

I’d have stolen it back by now. If you can call it stealing when it’s your mug in the first place.

Maybe even calling MiL up afterwards to tell her I found that mug I’d been looking for if I was feeling particularly petty 😇

GloomyDarkness · 14/02/2023 11:55

MIL did this with a war of the worlds CD I'd bought one of the kids for nostalgia reasons and they'd loved.

I suspect at one point IL had a copy - we did in house I grew up - but it was probably on tape.

DH and FIL agreed that it was DC and FIL had memory of getting rid of their copy when tape broke - but she took it and put it in her collection and made sure it stayed there. There was a lot going on for us at the time - house move -and child wasn't that bothered so we left it.

I did assume it was genuine confusion but it got mentioned a lot of trips over which I thought odd- by then kids had no interest. IL never had it on it has sat gathering dust and I think it would have been played more if child had had it.

In our case didn't seem worth the argument - in your may be worth stealing back.

cassandre · 14/02/2023 11:57

I would definitely take it back, it has sentimental value to you and she's nicked it.

Then once I had it back I'd buy the new mug off eBay and give it to her as a gift. Say you took your mug back as it has sentimental value to you, but you know she liked the mug so you wanted to give her one of her very own to keep. Then you have the moral high ground 😂

cassandre · 14/02/2023 11:57

But you will also have got the message across that the original mug was yours not hers!

3487642l · 14/02/2023 11:59

OP, there seems to be some consesnsus on how to resolve mug-gate....

Please tell us you and DH are planning the heist?

And when the mission has been accomplished, please include a mug-shot!

NotQuiteHere · 14/02/2023 12:07

Your MIL might have been genuinely thinking that it is her mug. Could it be that when you stayed with her she thought that you had bought it for her and now completely forgot the circumstances?

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 14/02/2023 12:09

NotQuiteHere · 14/02/2023 12:07

Your MIL might have been genuinely thinking that it is her mug. Could it be that when you stayed with her she thought that you had bought it for her and now completely forgot the circumstances?

Why would OP buy her an I Love You mug Confused

uncomfortablydumb53 · 14/02/2023 12:12

Take a large handbag and just put it in when you're there next
I doubt if she'd have the nerve to bring it up again
Definitely don't spend £14 on a replacement
You can sterilise it with a drop of bleach in water if you wanted to

Serialcatmum · 14/02/2023 12:16

Break it. Break the mug.

Whoops.

Sticky fingers and all 🤣

2bazookas · 14/02/2023 12:16

Just steal it right back without saying a word.

2bazookas · 14/02/2023 12:17

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 14/02/2023 12:09

Why would OP buy her an I Love You mug Confused

Show quote history

Its entirely possible DH bought a valentine ILY mug for both his wife and mother.