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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In an apocalyptic scenario, would you survive long?

262 replies

fourikeachairs · 13/02/2023 23:22

I wouldn't! At all. I cannot run fast or fight, I'd be a goner immediately the zombies or aliens or whatever descend. When I watch a movie of tv with this theme I can't ever keep up with the characters when they make a quick plan about who is going to do what where, and when they give each other silent hand signals eg going into a room they think is occupied I'm just like huh what do you mean? Grin

If you reckon you'd survive a good while if the shit hits the fan, what are your best survival skills? Are you good at going with the flow, being flexible, thinking quickly on the go?

OP posts:
TheVanguardSix · 13/02/2023 23:31

Not with my weak bladder. Just imagine if the protagonist of a zombie movie, or say, Sigorney Weaver in Alien, had a weak bladder. What a sub plot!

EmmaEmerald · 13/02/2023 23:33

I wouldn't want to. Someone on here said they wouldn't want to deal with the "tinned anchovies and anarchy" stage. Ditto.

Lindy2 · 13/02/2023 23:37

Surviving an apocalypse seems like very hard work. I don't think I'd have the energy for it really.

Forestcantrun · 13/02/2023 23:39

Zombie apocalypse is one of my distraction scenarios… I ask patients every day when I’m stitching or doing painful interventions😀

I have come to realise this is what I’ve been training for all my life🤣 Obviously lot of NHS emergency experience, can sort out injuries while on the move.

I now run, so I’m fit, not fast but can run! I’ve speedy tactical decision making skills, planning experience and more importantly, I’ve been dying for an excuse to drive like I’m escaping zombies.

Pick me🤣🤣

Justmuddlingalong · 13/02/2023 23:40

I couldn't be arsed with it. Dealing with unapocalyptic life knackers me as it is. If the leccy still worked I'd just have a cuppa and accept my fate.

NewNameForXmas · 13/02/2023 23:40

I have stored fat so could do without calories for a good while. Not good at running though!

LozzaChops101 · 13/02/2023 23:43

I think I’m too much of a people pleaser to survive the apocalypse. Although I’m dead good at foraging and making fires and things so if I was alone I could probably last a solid week 😆

Tbh I’d die of complications from acid reflux or something equally sexy without the protection of Big Pharma.

Itisbetter · 13/02/2023 23:44

In a holes up and defending a safe spot scenario I’d be excellent, but ds is disabled and I’d die trying to save him as would dh and his siblings. We’re totally fucked if it comes to running or hiding, slow and VERY noisy.🤣.

boatyardblues · 13/02/2023 23:45

EmmaEmerald · 13/02/2023 23:33

I wouldn't want to. Someone on here said they wouldn't want to deal with the "tinned anchovies and anarchy" stage. Ditto.

Agree. I was about 1/3 of the way through Cormac McCarthy’s The Road when I realised the character that topped themself at the beginning made the right call. I don't want to be eaten or enslaved or starve thank you very much.

BankOfDave · 13/02/2023 23:46

It really depends how bad PMT is tbh. I will either kill all of them single-handedly making Lara Croft look like David Brent, or will just have a nice sit down and wait.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 13/02/2023 23:47

I have a hunker down and wait for the worst to sort itself out plan. I'm fat, unfit and would be fucked if I lose my glasses, so I have bugger all chance in a run and kill scenario.

If everything was to go to plan then I would rock it, of course that wouldn't be likely but still it's kind of fun to think through.

I've mentally plotted how we'd fortify our home and adapt it to self sufficiency, where we'd get supplies and how they'd be stored and preserved, what livestock would be needed to keep us in food (rabbits are top on the list, they breed quick, give meat and furs, easy to care for and feed), what fruit and veg could be planted for short and long term crops, what would make good bartering supplies.......

Big fan of zombie/dystopian movies, TV shows and books so find myself thinking about it fairly often.

Plasmodesmata · 13/02/2023 23:48

I'd just accept my fate and go be a zombie. Much easier than running away from them all the time. I'm sure brains are probably quite tasty.

Spongeboob · 13/02/2023 23:48

Nope. Terrified of zombies, blind as a bat without my glasses and 5ft nothing. Lone parent of smallish child and live on the edge of a bad estate. We'd be buggered even though we're 2 minutes from a supermarket. I do have an interest in legal weapons, I have an extremely accurate replica of Lucille, a small crossbow, bows and arrows and various BB guns (rifle, shotgun and handguns). Probably wouldn’t help us much. Also vegetarian Grin

BadgerLovesMash · 13/02/2023 23:49

I've thought about this alot! Not sure how well I would survive. But in the case of zombies, my plan is to steal a boat. Ever seen swimming zombies?! Nope! I will just have to overcome my fish allergy, sea sickness and figure out drinking water! 🤣🤣

EmmaEmerald · 13/02/2023 23:49

Forestcantrun you ask your patients what they'd do in a zombie apocalypse?

boatyardblues I don't even want to read books like that. I enjoyed the film the Happening but that was different.

I genuinely don't know why anyone wants to survive an apocalypse.

harrassedmumto3 · 13/02/2023 23:49

I'd be frigging hopeless Grin

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 13/02/2023 23:49

Forestcantrun · 13/02/2023 23:39

Zombie apocalypse is one of my distraction scenarios… I ask patients every day when I’m stitching or doing painful interventions😀

I have come to realise this is what I’ve been training for all my life🤣 Obviously lot of NHS emergency experience, can sort out injuries while on the move.

I now run, so I’m fit, not fast but can run! I’ve speedy tactical decision making skills, planning experience and more importantly, I’ve been dying for an excuse to drive like I’m escaping zombies.

Pick me🤣🤣

It has in app purchases, but if you want a fun distraction/addition to your run lookup the app 'Zombie's Run'. It's a role play based interval training app, so you walk for a bit then you hear zombies coming or gunfire and have to speed up to escape.

mrsfollowill · 13/02/2023 23:51

I'm just too slow! I'd put up a good fight if I had a handy shovel- reckon I could lop zombies heads off easy so if it was just one on one I'd manage. I have menopausal RAGE as well which would really help.
Being stealthy/fast- nah- I'd be zombie fodder for sure. I've told DH that if we ever are in this scenario him and DS should just flee ( they are fast runners with stamina) and I'll catch them up if I can.
If we were in a compound (or other protected space) I would be very good at cooking though and bits of first aid and general common sense! I think I have thought about this too much really Grin

RandomCatGenerator · 13/02/2023 23:53

LozzaChops101 · 13/02/2023 23:43

I think I’m too much of a people pleaser to survive the apocalypse. Although I’m dead good at foraging and making fires and things so if I was alone I could probably last a solid week 😆

Tbh I’d die of complications from acid reflux or something equally sexy without the protection of Big Pharma.

This made me laugh!

Wbeezer · 13/02/2023 23:54

I'm very resourceful, and I have lots of practical skills but I'd be toast if my specs broke!

Rollercoaster1920 · 13/02/2023 23:54

I missed the loo rolls and pasta in 2020 so I'm already eaten by zombies by the time you finish this sentence.

PatriciaHolm · 13/02/2023 23:56

Yes, but only for as long as it took the zombies to realise all they needed to do was take my glasses. I would then fall down the nearest stairs.

Skyrimisveryrelaxing · 13/02/2023 23:57

you cant live off rabbits they arent very good for you at all.

Cherryblossoms85 · 13/02/2023 23:59

This is what my novel would be about if I ever wrote one. Only a slight twist in that it's rebels hiding from evil surveillance government. It was so clichéd I gave up.

SoShallINever · 14/02/2023 00:00

Look, I'm in the middle of the menopause, bring it fucking on. Who wants some?