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AIBU?

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Original poster

In an apocalyptic scenario, would you survive long?

262 replies

fourikeachairs · 13/02/2023 23:22

I wouldn't! At all. I cannot run fast or fight, I'd be a goner immediately the zombies or aliens or whatever descend. When I watch a movie of tv with this theme I can't ever keep up with the characters when they make a quick plan about who is going to do what where, and when they give each other silent hand signals eg going into a room they think is occupied I'm just like huh what do you mean? Grin

If you reckon you'd survive a good while if the shit hits the fan, what are your best survival skills? Are you good at going with the flow, being flexible, thinking quickly on the go?

OP posts:
PissedOffNeighbour22 · 14/02/2023 04:06

I used to have a plan worked out with my ex-h. But these days I don't think I could be arsed so wouldn't survive long.

We couldn't leave the house because of how slow the toddler walks. Between the wails of 'but I don't want to go in the buggy', 'but I doooooo want to go in the buggy', ' I want a cereal bar' etc on repeat, I'd probably throw her to the zombies myself 😄.

I must say 'ow, mi back' at least 50 times a day so anything that requires me to lift, move quickly or not have a soft bed means I'm out. I'm sure someone would get fed up of me tutting whenever anyone broke a law too. I don't think I could cope with seeing the looting and people running riot.

DP would fare better as he has some survival skills, but he's the jumpiest person I know so a few zombies popping out from behind doors and his heart would give out.

sashh · 14/02/2023 04:10

I'm heading to the Welsh border.

I've taught 'equality and diversity' in a lot of places, when I teach it in Birmingham there are loads of students who know various languages, have different cultures, basically diverse groups.

Teaching in a small place on the Welsh border the class was all white, most knew some Welsh but otherwise they were English speakers so we did 'E and D for the zombie apocalypse'.

That group had wonderful skills, off the top of my head:
Shooting.
Skinning and butchering rabbits.
Driving a tractor.
Making alcohol.
Throwing knives.
Building fires.

Morestrangethings · 14/02/2023 04:14

LozzaChops101 · 13/02/2023 23:43

I think I’m too much of a people pleaser to survive the apocalypse. Although I’m dead good at foraging and making fires and things so if I was alone I could probably last a solid week 😆

Tbh I’d die of complications from acid reflux or something equally sexy without the protection of Big Pharma.

Similar for me. Without migraine relief medication I’d be begging to die:

I could be the person in the movies who sacrificed myself to the zombies so everyone else could get away. But fair is fair, I’d want a gun and a bullet to shoot myself just as they attacked me.

Beesandhoney123 · 14/02/2023 05:14

I left out any need for meds, as would be too depressingly darwinesque, what with family requirements for inhaler and ptsd meds.

Buddythecat1 · 14/02/2023 05:42

Honestly it wouldn't even be zombies that scare me. It would be other people.
People don't give a shit when it comes to their own, they'll fight, assault whoever or whatever for supplies or weapons.
Like a pp, I'm checking out early ✌️ but y'all have fun

LadyOfTheCanyon · 14/02/2023 05:45

Nope, I'd be stoving my own head in within seconds of the first air raid siren going off.

People scare me much more than zombies.

SunshineAndFizz · 14/02/2023 05:50

Whenever I watch these types of movies I always worry about the minor practical inconveniences (rather than obvious things like food or fighting).

Are they brushing their teeth everyday? How bad do they smell? How often do they change their clothes? What if they get their period?

I need answers!!!

exLtEveDallas · 14/02/2023 05:54

My Zombie Plan used to be foolproof - I worked and lived on a secure camp, I knew the codes to both the armoury and the ammunition store and the combination to the ‘secret tunnel’ to the stores. I’m also a great shot, married to a great shot and had a well behaved, compliant daughter that was up for anything.

Now I’m a fat, unfit civilian with no access to weapons, a house with big windows and an anxious, argumentative DD who always knows best.

I’m screwed!

Onwayoutsoon · 14/02/2023 06:03

Forestcantrun · 13/02/2023 23:39

Zombie apocalypse is one of my distraction scenarios… I ask patients every day when I’m stitching or doing painful interventions😀

I have come to realise this is what I’ve been training for all my life🤣 Obviously lot of NHS emergency experience, can sort out injuries while on the move.

I now run, so I’m fit, not fast but can run! I’ve speedy tactical decision making skills, planning experience and more importantly, I’ve been dying for an excuse to drive like I’m escaping zombies.

Pick me🤣🤣

😂

ThoroughlyEnjoyable · 14/02/2023 06:08

I could spin things out for a few weeks by claiming I'm a soothsayer

milkyaqua · 14/02/2023 06:11

Are they brushing their teeth everyday?

Just made me feel better about my ridiculous store of toothpastes and brushes. I will die with great teeth!

CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/02/2023 06:12

I think I'd be ok for a bit. I can walk and run, not far or fast but I have stamina. I can sew, crochet, cook and grow vegetables. My partner is a handy man and my daughter is a dancer so very flexible and fit and able to climb up stuff / info windows collecting food and opening doors. We have a dog for protection who is a lurcher so could keep up with our running about. He is a whiner though so would likely give our game away. Dog is definitely the weak link

Offensiveapprently · 14/02/2023 06:13

I wouldn't make it very far with the noisiest kid in the world two metal cat carriers with cats, a large dog, a rabbit in an indoor hutch and a small fish tank. It's not " every woman/man/fish/cat/rabbit/dog/kid for themselves " in our house. You take us out we are all going.😀

Penguinsaregreat · 14/02/2023 06:14

It depends if I’ve taken my HRT.
Without it I could quite easily kill any f***
without batting an eyelid.
Ds is trained to use a gun and can shoot on sight. Both dh and I ( when I’ve taken my HRT) are very calm and rational thinkers. Our house is covered entirely by cctv which we would calmly monitor. We could all get to the pub and take refuge. We could all kick the shit out of anyone attacking us.
Would I want to survive? Probably not.

SprungIsSpringing · 14/02/2023 06:15

I can't shoot. I can't hunt. And I'll almost certainly pick the wrong mushrooms.

I'll be dead within a week.

chatnicknameyousuggested · 14/02/2023 06:22

Ah, I can see those of us with neuro issues - due to our brains being 'different', zombies can smell us and are repulsed by our superior cerebal matter. We possess a special immunity which makes us wise and dashing resistence leaders.

There's got to be an advantage in having MS sonehow...

mondaytosunday · 14/02/2023 06:22

Nope. Definitely not fit enough. Plus I have type 1 diabetes and even if I could get hold of some insulin it needs to be kept cold. And it expires so ....

Nimbostratus100 · 14/02/2023 06:24

not really a topic for casual entertainment given what millions are facing right now

Appleskypietoday · 14/02/2023 06:26

I wear glasses and hearing aids. I can’t see me lasting long. My OH would survive so I’ve told him he needs to look out for the kids.

Mummadeze · 14/02/2023 06:28

I am brave and don’t give up. I hate conflict but in extraordinary circumstances I feel like I would rise to the occasion.

Switchwitch · 14/02/2023 06:30

All zombie films and shows involve spending every day trying to get into a zombie infested house/shelter and then trying to get out of it again.

I'd rather just die that spend every day doing that.

emptythelitterbox · 14/02/2023 06:32

I used to be prepared but not so much now.
Besides, I'm old.

Octopusmittens · 14/02/2023 06:34

BankOfDave · 13/02/2023 23:46

It really depends how bad PMT is tbh. I will either kill all of them single-handedly making Lara Croft look like David Brent, or will just have a nice sit down and wait.

😂😂😂

Zombie hordes would be no match for a bunch of women with PMT.

LBF2020 · 14/02/2023 06:35

When this question comes up in conversation with friends.. it seems to come up quite a lot? They say they will head to our house as my DH has a small armoury, knows how to make bullets and is in to survival stuff etc.. He does long range target shooting - no animals shot here, but I guess in a zombie situation that would soon change, we have lots of deer around here. I think everyone we know would descend on us so we'd either get murdered by them or we'd build a new colony 🤣

Adrelaxzz · 14/02/2023 06:39

I am a demon at packing in a hurry. We once got the wrong day of our flight and I had to pack for 5 of us in 15 minutes on my own. I don't think I missed anything. I am also a grumpy bugger without good sleep so lord help the Zombies is my pillow is shite. I went to Karate for a year in 1985 and still have some moves so reckon I can handle any attacks.
I am also a big optimist (see above). Which will either result in me rallying the troops or being shot for being annoying.

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