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Original poster

In an apocalyptic scenario, would you survive long?

262 replies

fourikeachairs · 13/02/2023 23:22

I wouldn't! At all. I cannot run fast or fight, I'd be a goner immediately the zombies or aliens or whatever descend. When I watch a movie of tv with this theme I can't ever keep up with the characters when they make a quick plan about who is going to do what where, and when they give each other silent hand signals eg going into a room they think is occupied I'm just like huh what do you mean? Grin

If you reckon you'd survive a good while if the shit hits the fan, what are your best survival skills? Are you good at going with the flow, being flexible, thinking quickly on the go?

OP posts:
MotherOfPuffling · 14/02/2023 00:00

Ooh @Spongeboob you have some COOL hobbies and kit! Alas I am in the same boat as @PatriciaHolm. Add in the Parkinson’s and the asthma and it’s a question of whether I’d actually survive long enough to be eaten by zombies…

Onnabugeisha · 14/02/2023 00:01

I think I’d be alright. They’re the walking dead, not the swimming dead so I’d just cruise out to an island with my family & their partners and we would live off the land and sea. Between us we have the skills to do most anything.

So, I’d be bee lining to steal a luxury yacht if the apocalypse happens.

MotherOfPuffling · 14/02/2023 00:01

Figuring out my escape route in the event of a zombie apocalypse is one of my go-to distractions when I’m bored though. I used to walk past a cemetery on my way home from work and had all my plans ready 😂

Ponderingwindow · 14/02/2023 00:06

I’d be dead as soon as my main prescriptions ran out. Just the supply chain disruptions we deal With these days are terror enough for me.

pizzaHeart · 14/02/2023 00:08

I’m unfit, anxious, very urban type addicted to unlimited supply of hot water, electricity and internet. I also have weak bladder and can’t live without black tea more then 12 hours. I wouldn’t survive for long on my own. I would follow DH - he’s got much better survival skills.

ItWillWash · 14/02/2023 00:09

I have a plan for Zombies/Alien invasion that I'm fairly confident in. I live near the sea and our marina is within a few minutes walk from three major supermarkets.

My plan is to raid the supermarkets at the first sign of trouble for alcohol and nonperishable foodstuffs and then to steal a yacht. As long as I don't get eaten on the way to the supermarket I think I'd last a few weeks out at sea.

The only flaw in my plan is that I cannot navigate so will probably get lost at sea and die of starvation eventually.

BreadInCaptivity · 14/02/2023 00:12

SoShallINever · 14/02/2023 00:00

Look, I'm in the middle of the menopause, bring it fucking on. Who wants some?

😂😂😂

SweetSakura · 14/02/2023 00:12

Not on my own. I have a debilitating neurological condition and without my medication I would be housebound. But my children amaze me with their quick wit and ferocity and since they were toddlers I have been certain they would thrive in an apocalyptic scenario so if nothing else I hope they would keep me alive for a while as a back up supply of meat Grin]

MakingTheVeganYorkshirePud · 14/02/2023 00:12

I'd be shit. I'd just get into bed and hope the apocalypse passed quickly. Sod running about and hiding on top of buildings.

SweetSakura · 14/02/2023 00:14

MotherOfPuffling · 14/02/2023 00:00

Ooh @Spongeboob you have some COOL hobbies and kit! Alas I am in the same boat as @PatriciaHolm. Add in the Parkinson’s and the asthma and it’s a question of whether I’d actually survive long enough to be eaten by zombies…

The zombies would probably reject me, I'm rattling with so many medicines Grin

AffIt · 14/02/2023 00:22

I have a horrible feeling I'd be really good at it.

I have long suspected I have 'a certain degree of moral ambiguity', as Martin Blank says in Grosse Pointe Blank (although I hide it well) and I think that alone would serve me well.

I'm also a really good aim.

GerronBuzanDoThaWomwok · 14/02/2023 00:23

I'd watch and wait, and enrage my children by insisting no one could take any risks by leaving the house. My husband would mutter that we were all loons and go back to watching Ukraine podcasts. But if I ran out of Barry's tea then I'd be loping down the street and no fucker would stop me. Ditto re. any strange creatures that interfered with DD social life, held up youngest son's rugby, oldest son's exhausting country-wide social life or interrupted middle son's revision. They would rue the day 😂

Apocalyptichorsewoman · 14/02/2023 00:23

I reckon I'd stand a fighting chance. 🤣🤣

I've got a horse, martial art skills, two cricket bats, and I'm a nurse. And I'm from Barnsley.

SD1978 · 14/02/2023 00:25

Reckon I'd be ok for a bit, then would piss someone off and get a knife in the back....

BreadInCaptivity · 14/02/2023 00:26

I think I'd react in a very "Shaun of the Dead" way.

I can imagine throwing the record collection at zombies whilst DH was screaming at me me "no, for fucks sake don't throw the Billy Joel at them, give them your Abba LP's!!!"

I'd probably remember to lock the doors, do a freezer inventory (pondering just how long that frozen MN chicken will really last for) before thinking, fuck it, I might have food for weeks, but my booze stash isn't worth a damn so risk a dash to the local pub (armed with my best knives and kitchen aid bowl as head protection) for an end of the world lock in and accept the inevitable whilst scoffing (and remembering that I hate pickled eggs and pork scratchings) whilst downing a pint of gin Gin

So I guess that gives me about 20 minutes as my village is overrun....

mediumbrownmug · 14/02/2023 00:37

Hasn’t everyone been preparing for this already? When my now DH and I got together, he actually gave classes on this and we even had/have a solid plan in the event that zombies take over (fyi, we agreed not to let each other turn if bitten). He has a friend with an underground shelter and iodine pills, and we have an emergency bag packed.

We’re good. If it ever happens and you’re nearby, message me; and if you aren’t a zombie (or other invading life form) feel free to join us. 😁

dottyshihtzu · 14/02/2023 00:37

I'd be crap in a zombie apocalypse, I think I'd choose to "opt out" pretty sharpish.

Just 'surviving' instead of 'living' would be so bloody miserable. And in a world with no rules and no law, I reckon feral humans would probably be scarier than the zombies, so no thanks!

Underminer · 14/02/2023 00:37

I have long planned for this. I plan to set up a Fuck This Shit group. You’re invited. Bring booze and snacks and we’ll binge eat and drink ourselves to death so at least if our fellow humans want to try eating us in their desperate bid to survive, we’d at least be premarinated.

I genuine couldn’t be arsed in an apocalypse. All than running, jump scares and survive crap, being robbed, not knowing who to trust. Nah. I’m calling early doors in style!

CoorieInByTheFire · 14/02/2023 00:45

Depends if they want to eat us or just kill us. I reckon if it’s the first I’d be in with a small chance because I’m small and underweight and full of nasty mucus. On the other hand I’m also diabetic, deaf, shortsighted, and rubbish at breathing, so I’ve already volunteered to be the fall guy if anything happens so my friends can get away.

If it’s a War of the Worlds scenario I’ll probably kill them off if they eat me, so I guess I’d live on in everyone’s memories, which would be nice. “Remember that Coorie, she was so gross she poisoned them when they ate her.”

DramaAlpaca · 14/02/2023 00:48

I hate relying on a man, but in this instance I'd be glad to have DH in my corner. He can shoot so could defend us, he can fish so we wouldn't starve, and is so calm he can talk himself out of any difficult situation. So I'd hide behind him like a complete wuss and let him take control. Even though it'd seriously piss me off to do so. I'm a planner though, and have a larder stocked with tins, so together we'd be OK.

EmmaEmerald · 14/02/2023 00:50

mediumbrownmug · 14/02/2023 00:37

Hasn’t everyone been preparing for this already? When my now DH and I got together, he actually gave classes on this and we even had/have a solid plan in the event that zombies take over (fyi, we agreed not to let each other turn if bitten). He has a friend with an underground shelter and iodine pills, and we have an emergency bag packed.

We’re good. If it ever happens and you’re nearby, message me; and if you aren’t a zombie (or other invading life form) feel free to join us. 😁

He gave classes?

no, everyone is not preparing for this. I'm prepared to exit but that's it.

Cassy92 · 14/02/2023 00:52

My DH and I talk about this at length.

His plan is - he would stick with me the entire time we're holed up in the house as clearly I'd have everything covered. But the moment we have to brave it outside he says he's leaving me, the kids and the dogs - we'd just slow him down 😂

I said that's fine because while he might be quicker, he's more stupid, and wherever the safe haven was we were aiming for, he'd get lost on the way.

He said that's probably true. But he'd also be perfectly happy just hiding somewhere and looting houses, eating beans out of cans - whereas I'd make him cook them and he can't be arsed with that shit.

As I say - talked about it at length 😂

Casilero · 14/02/2023 00:55

I've thought about this quite a lot, and I reckon that as long as I could secure the cellar from zombies/marauders, we could probably survive long enough for the zombies to be dead or the marauders to have moved on. We've got quite a lot of canned/dried goods down there, plus log burner and fuel. Wine obviously. Some water but also water purification tablets, candles, solar panels so we'd at least be able to charge our phones to see if the situation had calmed down at all.

If the apocalypse happened suddenly though, whilst away from the cellar, or without enough time to secure the cellar, then no, we'd be absolutely fucked so I'd probably just aim to get bit asap.

thewinterwitch · 14/02/2023 00:59

I sometimes forget I don't own a semi-automatic rifle. But I am well set up to survive societal breakdown, loss of power, and foodstuffs, heating, etc, being unavailable. If I had to run from the zombies, that would not be good; but I can easily shelter in place for a fairly long period, six plus months at a guess, without even being a prepper. This is cheerful news!

mediumbrownmug · 14/02/2023 00:59

EmmaEmerald · 14/02/2023 00:50

He gave classes?

no, everyone is not preparing for this. I'm prepared to exit but that's it.

Show quote history

Yes, he used to teach classes on how to survive a zombie/alien/miscellaneous apocalypse and pack an emergency bag, and so on. It was a fun thing he used to do when we met, but hey— if the zombies ever do invade, we’re totally ready!

And yeah, it was a joke about everyone preparing; but since we’re all having fun with it, why not?