Really fucked off that my time doesn't matter

[Imlookingatapicture]

Name changed as outing... hence the terrible user name 🤣

Me: Single no children
Friend A: married with children 9 & 7
Friend B: married with child aged 3

I've arranged with friend (A) a Sunday meet up twice. Paid deposit twice.

First time eldest had sporting event so she cancelled the morning we were due for lunch. Fine, I explained I'd paid deposit, she paid it back straight away.

Rearranged, for last Sunday. Got a message on sat to say son had an event, but 'don't worry I've transferred you deposit'. I turned down a different Friend to attend, it's not really about the £5 deposit....

So I'm a little peeved when she asks if we rearrange can we invite mutual friend (B). Yes, that's fine.

Friend A works part time, friend B SAHM - all live pretty much in same town. I work full time. 2 days a week I'm in the office which is a 2 hour commute each way, train at 6.45 so super early start.

Friends A&B have rearranged for the day I'm in the office, and the next day. So I get in just after 7, I leave the house at 6 the next day. I explained (again) that that is the one day that's not good for me as will be knackered and up early next day.

Friend B - 'haha, you'll be fine. Count yourself lucky you won't be up all night with kids!'

Friend A has responded with a laugh emoji.

O can literally do any other day other than a Wednesday. I feel I've been cancelled on at last minute twice, but 'it's OK I've given you the deposit back'. And now my time is a laughing emoji.

I get that it's more difficult to arrange with kids, I really do. But I feel like they think I have nothing else going on.

AiBU to be quite fecked off at this stage??

I got three hours sleep due to insomnia but I can’t be tired since I don’t have kids. Righto. I have insomnia and a back issue that wakes me when I move. I have hallucinations from tiredness, I understand why toddlers cry when they are tired because sometimes I want to sob with exhaustion. I must be imagining it as I don’t have kids…you can fuck off with that!

Step away from these friendships until they’ve got themselves organised. Then they can initiate arrangements and pay deposits etc. Good luck

Agree with the above post. Don't agree to meet up at the time that doesn't suit you. You've been open about your availability to them so no need to try to do something you have said you can't. A "you know I can't do that date". Just let them know that you sympathise with how busy they are and that you'll look forward to whatever they've arranged when they let you know when it is. Leave it to them to do and pay deposits. Turn up if you want to.

However, there is a chance if you leave it to them that you won't hear from them again. It would be a good idea to spend time with other friends who don't treat you like this or take up a new hobby and meet some new people/widen your social circle.

You are not less important than them. They're just self-centred.

@Perky1 your point is wholly irrelevant

Well that'd just bloody rude and I say that as a single parent. The lady has a super lingerie day with 4 hours of commuting, that is gonna wipe ya

Childless people can be just as tired as parents, what a ridiculous thing to say that they can't.
People like you annoy me with the stupid statements that no one could possibly be as tired as a parent.
I say that as a parent!
At least she was honest with her reason, unlike the friend who gave a sons sporting event bull.

Well they would very likely have known about the sports event earlier than she told you.

Yanbu. I'm a LP. And I get very annoyed with the assumption of my friends with children that those who don't have children somehow have lesser a life and no demands on their time and can't just be available at all time.

Everyone has a life and no one's time is more or less valuable than another's regardless of what that time is spent doing.