To think some people outsource life

[ExistenceOptional]

Some outsourcing of life is fairly normal. Using some childcare, having a weekly cleaner for those who can afford it, dog walkers, etc. But there comes a point where people seem to outsource a lot of life that is not work.

So people who have several nannies so the child is only brought to them for the fun bits of life. Having firms in to decorate your house for Christmas and put up a tree. Having staff to plan, organise and run your child's birthday party with you just showing up to welcome parents and smile as you watch. Having staff to choose and buy your kids Christmas presents.

I used to nanny for families like this and I think you just end up outsourcing life outside of work. Trying to live a personal life like this must be really unfulfilling.

I'd be rather concerned that whoever I was outsourcing to would end up having a double dose of tedium because I couldn't pay them enough to outsource their own unwanted chores. I'd be thinking about them cleaning my toilet and then having to go home and clean their own.

I could outsource to a well-programmed robot, perhaps, but otherwise I'd feel guilty.

Are there any limits to what you can acceptably outsource?

I worked with someone who employed a wet-nurse so that she and her husband didn't lose any sleep.

There was a documentary series some years ago about Norland nannies. They used to offer a hotel service for babies and toddlers. They were throwing a 2nd birthday party for a child whose parents were travelling - as they had been for his 1st birthday.

I’d outsource my fulfilment. Get someone to send a monthly wellness report to me while I got on with something else.

Those kind of nanny jobs where the employer expects you to do three jobs at once are the worst. The nanny always ends up neglecting the kids because that can't be seen, but they get complaints if the house is not clean and well maintained.
If a binman was expected in the same time to empty bins, clean up rubbish in the street, and deliver the post, I would be saying exactly the same. But it is usually women's jobs that are treated this way where an employer tries to crush three jobs into one.

I outsource as much as I can. It's great not having to do mundane tasks as I work long hours and can then spend time with my children.

Is this a serious question? I have an employee, who I pay very well, salary plus pension/NI contributions, sick pay, maternity pay, holiday pay etc. Her job is 'Nanny/housekeeper' and the things you describe above are her literal job description. So yes, she does them. She doesn't 'run around' because she does the housekeeping and cleaning while the kids are at school. She is free to leave at any point if she finds a more satisfying or better paid job. She is in no sense a 'poor woman'. She had a different career before having her own kids and now works part-time for us because she loves childcare and the location/hours work well for her.

Several other posters have answered you above, but I assume you haven't built your own house, grown all your own food? Do you clean your own windows and fix the roof if it breaks? And plumbed in your own washing machine and dishwasher? If not, is there a reason why you feel it's okay to outsource these tasks but not the ones I've outsourced? Do you feel the lack of them is affecting your personal fulfilment?

And as to the fact that she 'literally keeps my kids alive', given that we give them breakfast and dinner and school gives them lunch which I pay for, she isn't actually keeping them alive, just doing some basic school admin and ensuring they are dropped off at sporting activities etc. Your hyperbole isn't helping your case.

@womanwithbooks You did not say you employed her as a cleaner when the kids are at school and to nanny afterwards.

But who DOES do this, other than ultra-rich celebrities living incredibly unusual lifestyles?

Why are we conflating 'someone who hires a cleaner' with 'someone who barely ever sees or spends quality time with their child'? They are two entirely different things.

I find the more I can outsource, the more time I can give to my family. While I’m decorating the house for Christmas, I could be spending that time doing something festive with the children (they’re too young to join in). I’d rather be present at my DCs party and enjoy it with them than be stressed because I’d spent hours catering. We’re not wealthy but I do outsource all I can because I want to spend every available minute enjoying my family, not running round after them.

I used to nanny for families like this

So you have professionally and personally benefited from 'families like this' but now you're slagging them off?

People outsourcing are usually giving someone a job. The party planner, gardener, cleaner etc. are likely small business owners trying to make a go of it and very grateful for the outsourcers. Much better than spending money on useless crap to fill your home and eventually landfill with or just letting it sit in the bank, watching the number go up and up.
People with money have to do something with their money but usually people will criticize whatever they do with it.
Some people are outsourcing because they have fulfilling careers that may change the world. Like the people trying to find the cures for horrible diseases. Or even a hospital surgeon who wants to focus on fixing someone's heart rather than thinking about that pile of laundry in the basket.
And even people with less life-changing jobs, and without life-changing money in the bank, like myself, may just choose to outsource because they are crap at things.
Thanks to nannies and nurseries, one parent (usually the mother) doesn't have to sacrifice their career. By the time kids reach school age day-time childcare is mostly outsourced anyway, so speeding it up a year or two is hardly missing out on life. They're experiencing another aspect of life - work life. Work has always existed. It is life.
Could argue that you've outsourced the farming and the fire making. To really enjoy life to the fullest, forage your own food, chase down that deer, and get rubbing some rocks together for your campfire.

... and I'm not really sure why I'm bothering arguing on this but it is not 'doing three jobs at once'. It is one job - nanny/housekeeper - with a number of responsibilities.

Just like teachers have to teach, and plan lessons, and mark work, and attend parents evening.

In my job, I have to do my core role, plus manage staff, plus pitch to clients, plus do paperwork, plus manage a budget etc.

Most roles have more than one task, all of it is usually laid out in the job description when hiring. It's not some kind of trick. Our nanny has been with us for over a decade now and that's despite a number of job offers from elsewhere so she can't be that miserable. So I think it's only you judging!

Exploitation of women in lower paid occupations is a related, and more important, issue. But this seems of secondary concern in the framing of the thread title and original post.

That would be a conversation worth having. As to 'outsourcing' and whether other households are fulfilled and happy with their work/life balance, that's of no interest to me albeit it's a constantly recurring theme on this site. No one is placed to give a blanket conclusion as how rewarding others find their lives. That is for them to judge.

That said I had a very senior colleague who was about to be a single mum who was hiring an experienced nanny as “mothering isn’t my skill set”.

I outsource:

Growing veg & fruit for my kids and family
Growing animals/or hunting them and killing & butchering them for my kids & family
Transporting meat & veg to the shops for my kids & family
Growing cotton etc for clothes that my kids & family wear
Weaving cotton etc into thread and material for my kids & family
Making clothes
Skinning dead animals/making plastic for shoes for my kids
Putting satellites into space so my kids & family have phones & internet
Making televisions from scratch for my kids & family
Teaching my kids Maths & English etc etc
Transporting my family around the country in planes, trains & buses
Writing books that my kids will read
Making films that my kids will watch
Etc
Etc

My life must be SO unfulfilling as a result of all this outsourcing. I guess yours is quite different, eh OP?

We both work and outsource-
Cleaning
Gardening
DIY
Decorating
Car valeting
Ironing / dry cleaning- 24 hr collect and return service
Food shopping- Ocado
Have Amazon prime for ease of delivery
Window cleaning

We love it as it makes our time together so much more enjoyable.

I pay a window cleaner. An oven cleaner. The window cleaner also cleaned out the gutters for us this morning.

I can't say that doing those things would in any way enrich my life.

If I were superrich I would have a personal chef.

God no… I’d love to outsource bits of my life. I’d love a cleaner. A part time nanny. Someone to do all my work admin.

If I had the money I would outsource a lot of things including have my own personal chef to cook me dinner each evening.

What is wrong with just turning up for the pleasurable bits and not having to have all the mental load.
There is so much I really would love to do
if I could outsource all the boring and hard work bits.

@TongueTwistr tell me the birthday party bit isn’t true 😢

Their choice. Some people don't enjoy doing those things and if they can afford it to pay someone else to do it, then that's up to them. Personally I enjoy things like decorating the Christmas tree and organizing a birthday party, but that doesn't mean everyone does. I think it is only a problem if people feel pressured into achieving some notional perfection of a decorated house or a party and that's why they pay someone else to do it in a perfect, slick kind of way.

It will be true. Norland Nannies hotel service was mainly for parents dropping off babies and toddlers for a week or more at a time. But when I read an article about it the writer when visiting said there was one young baby who had already been there for six months.

I also know someone who used to employ three nannies for days, nights, weekends. That did seem a little sad if I'm totally honest.

I’d outsource everything if I could (kids are grown so not that). I don’t find any of the stuff you mention as fulfilling (apart from the children). I’d have someone to deal with all the letters/post/life admin if I could as well.

@Haffiana 😂😂😂😂😂. But so true.