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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sonographer unsure on sex

165 replies

Anonymousoneo · 12/02/2023 23:06

I had my 20 week scan last week and I can't get what the Sonographer said out of my head. He was pretty sure it was a girl but he wasn't certain he said there's nothing obvious between legs but he couldn't get a clear enough shot to confirm for sure. He said he would be very surprised if baby turnt out to be a boy. I'm so nervous to go out buying girly bits🥲

OP posts:
TallulahBetty · 13/02/2023 08:50

No scan is 100% anyway - private places will make you sign a form to say you understand that.

Our NHS trust won't even tell you the sex - how would you cope then?!

vdbfamily · 13/02/2023 08:50

Many many people choose not to know sex of baby and yet still manage to prepare for their arrival. First few weeks they will live in vests and babygros and there are lots of designs that are beautiful and
unisex.

Pottedpalm · 13/02/2023 08:51

I see more baby clothes in grey, mocha, mustard shades (with cream/white) than blue or pink stuff these days. And dresses are a pain and look silly on tiny babies.

wildlifeobserver1 · 13/02/2023 08:55

What’s your AIBU?

WandaWonder · 13/02/2023 09:05

We waited till our child was born, like people did before the finding out thing, people managed

TetherEndOfMy · 13/02/2023 09:07

vdbfamily · 13/02/2023 08:50

Many many people choose not to know sex of baby and yet still manage to prepare for their arrival. First few weeks they will live in vests and babygros and there are lots of designs that are beautiful and
unisex.

This was me. Didn't find out the sex. Was a wonderful surprise. Went for bright colours and designs. Lots of second hand scandi stuff, and next baby grows. All with quite maximalist designs. Don't think I've ever bought my son anything baby blue. He still looks like a walking rainbow at 4 and his favourite outfit consists of pink leggings, a black sparkly tutu skirt and a big jumper with spiderman on it. Of course his taste is influenced by mine, and won't be to everyone's liking, but still, a solid example that it's completely unnecessary to buy into the 'blue for boys, pink for girls' BS.

purpledalmation · 13/02/2023 09:08

Buy gender neutral colours. What an odd reaction. It's a baby and it's healthy. It's not a doll you dress in 'girly bits'.

WimbyAce · 13/02/2023 09:12

I didn't find out with both of mine. Their first baby clothes were lovely bright colours as I didn't want grey. Were given other bits when they arrived, it's not a problem.

Reugny · 13/02/2023 09:14

CombatBarbie · 12/02/2023 23:43

When I got my scan and lived in London there was a big notice in the waiting room stating do not ask the sonograoher the sex, they will not disclose. Mine actually asked me..... But then I was white/British.

They can never be 100% sure, I've known them get it wrong within the family.

In Germany with my 2nd she actually told us the sex on the nuchal scan at 13 weeks.

I live in London and had no issues being told the sex of my baby. I even told them the various religions in my family.

However we didn't want to know so discovered when she was born.

xogossipgirlxo · 13/02/2023 09:19

If you really want to know, perhaps consider private scan? Or just buy neutral clothing for first few weeks and then go crazy once baby is here and you know what you're having. Anyway, enjoy your pregnancy, it's going to be a nice surprise in the end 😁

MaryShelley1818 · 13/02/2023 09:21

OP - get a private scan, and if you'd like to buy some typical girls clothing for her then do that and enjoy it.

These comments are typical of MN, there's a particular type of woman on here who just delights on trying to make other women feel bad. They think that by dressing their sons in a pink princess tutu and babygro that somehow makes them oh so cool and superior. And that it's fine for Boys to be dressed as princesses but for some reason not girls.

My boy has a huge range of clothing as does my daughter, they can wear/play with/do whatever they want BUT as babies I dressed them in stuff I liked. DD mostly wore DS's animal hand me downs and I loathe pink BUT if you want girly clothes then you enjoy them, your baby.

Some of the comments on here are so spiteful and nasty, and tbh says a lot more about them than your choice to buy pink clothes! Hope they are teaching their children to care less about trying to look cool in Frugi and more about being kind and thinking about other people's feelings.

Newmum0322 · 13/02/2023 09:28

Mine said the same. I had a private scan a few weeks later to confirm because we needed to get things ready (and I didn’t want to wait) and it was confirmed a girl.

Glad I did go out and buy her clothes because literally everyone bought us 6-9 size clothes and said they thought we’d be inundated with new born stuff 😂😂

LakeTiticaca · 13/02/2023 09:32

The picture isn't always clear, depending on the baby's position so rather than having irate parents blaming the sonographer for them getting the "wrong" baby, they will err on the side of caution.

TheFeistyFeminist · 13/02/2023 09:33

Our baby came home from the hospital in a red babygro.

I firmly believe that clothes are just clothes and colours just colours, but if you want to hedge your bets there are plenty of neutral options out there.

Ariela · 13/02/2023 09:33

Girls can wear blue and boys can wear pink! Indeed DD will not wear pink (doesn't like the colour) and has always preferred blue. Her best friend as a toddler always wore pink (a boy).

As for not knowing, it's great when people ask 'Do you know what you're having?' and you can say with delight 'Yes, A BABY!'

Glittertwins · 13/02/2023 09:34

Skiphopbump · 12/02/2023 23:12

At 20 weeks I was told I was having a girl. The next scan the sonographer was doubtful but the baby was in an awkward position. Next scan was very clear baby was a boy!

Same here. Awkward little sod was facing the wrong way so it wasn't clear what was umbilical cord and what wasn't!!

Itawapuddytat · 13/02/2023 09:36

When I had my first baby the sonographer said she couldn't really see very well but she thinks that the baby might be a girl. We bought a lot of neutral coloured things (yellow, white etc, a red pram+red carseat) but also some pink/flowery things too. The baby was a boy Smile We used most of the things anyway - we only put aside the "too girly" ones for the next baby "if it's a girl", which is exactly what happened ( when I was pregnant for the second time I had two scans, one with NHS, one private, just to be sure this time)

BillyNighysWife · 13/02/2023 09:38

These days you don't know gender until the child is old enough to decide their own

@JustAnotherManicMomday

I think you have misunderstood the OP. She wants to know the sex of her baby, not the gender. To a certain extent you can ‘decide’ on your gender when you are older, but you can never decide your sex. Sex is in your chromosomes.

TetherEndOfMy · 13/02/2023 09:40

MaryShelley1818 · 13/02/2023 09:21

OP - get a private scan, and if you'd like to buy some typical girls clothing for her then do that and enjoy it.

These comments are typical of MN, there's a particular type of woman on here who just delights on trying to make other women feel bad. They think that by dressing their sons in a pink princess tutu and babygro that somehow makes them oh so cool and superior. And that it's fine for Boys to be dressed as princesses but for some reason not girls.

My boy has a huge range of clothing as does my daughter, they can wear/play with/do whatever they want BUT as babies I dressed them in stuff I liked. DD mostly wore DS's animal hand me downs and I loathe pink BUT if you want girly clothes then you enjoy them, your baby.

Some of the comments on here are so spiteful and nasty, and tbh says a lot more about them than your choice to buy pink clothes! Hope they are teaching their children to care less about trying to look cool in Frugi and more about being kind and thinking about other people's feelings.

Girls absolutely can be dressed in 'typical' girls clothing. I don't think that's the issue. It's the fact that the OP is acting like this is all they should be dressed in.

PurpleFlower1983 · 13/02/2023 09:42

Private scan or neutral stuff.

Topsyturvy78 · 13/02/2023 09:48

You don't need to know the gender to prepare properly. We never found out with either of ours. My ex had three girls before I met him. Then we had a daughter together. So when we were expecting again he was saying will be another girl I only get girls. But he left that hospital on a high because we had a son. You will have gifts bought when they are born so I wouldn't worry about it. I am glad we waited and not find out on a screen.

TallulahBetty · 13/02/2023 09:58

Everyone saying private scan - NO SCAN IS 100%

Forgotthebins · 13/02/2023 10:00

Yep better make sure so you can decide which stereotypes to start enforcing. Or… look forward to meeting the little individual you are growing inside you, who is much more important than whether their clothes are pink or blue?

Maireas · 13/02/2023 10:04

purpledalmation · 13/02/2023 09:08

Buy gender neutral colours. What an odd reaction. It's a baby and it's healthy. It's not a doll you dress in 'girly bits'.

Yes, that's what I thought. Strange thing to focus on.

Survey99 · 13/02/2023 10:07

If you want a second opinion you can pay for a private scan.

Otherwise buy neutral colours until the baby is born.

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