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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sonographer unsure on sex

165 replies

Anonymousoneo · 12/02/2023 23:06

I had my 20 week scan last week and I can't get what the Sonographer said out of my head. He was pretty sure it was a girl but he wasn't certain he said there's nothing obvious between legs but he couldn't get a clear enough shot to confirm for sure. He said he would be very surprised if baby turnt out to be a boy. I'm so nervous to go out buying girly bits🥲

OP posts:
PlantDoctor · 13/02/2023 00:10

My sonographer wasn't sure either so we paid for a private scan. That was really fun anyway as we had lots of photos to show off!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/02/2023 00:10

CherLloydbyCherLloyd · 13/02/2023 00:07

Oh I’m not saying you are lying - I’ve just not heard it myself. I live in a far less diverse area than that myself. I wonder if there could be a cultural element (as some cultures prefer one sex over the other for various reasons)

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That was what my friend thought - that it was to do with the different communities in the area - but the hospital obviously couldn’t say this to her.

Butterfly44 · 13/02/2023 00:10

They couldn't tell at my 20 week scan. I went and had a private 3D one ..which was lovely...and got told there :)

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/02/2023 00:13

Cuppasoupmonster · 13/02/2023 00:09

I don’t think that’s particularly unusual though, most babies have a mixture of ‘boy/girl’ and neutral clothes.

I just get sick and tired of the same old snide remarks popping up whenever OP mentions ‘girly clothes’ or whatever - I think it’s very unlikely she meant she will dress her baby in pink and glitter forever more. Just that it would be nice to buy a few lovely things that are clearly stereotypically ‘girl’, because neutral colours can be a bit dull and frankly nobody is going to put their baby boy in a pink and purple flowery baby grow. It’s mainly for the public’s benefit anyway so they can go ‘awww what a lovely baby girl/boy’ without getting it wrong and feeling embarrassed.

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I very much think each to their own in terms of baby clothes colours etc - so don’t disagree with you. I just thought if OP was a first time Mum it might be worth mentioning that the “girly bits” often aren’t v practical or what a baby needs.

By all means buy a bright pink sleep suit with unicorns on (or whatever - or don’t if you’d rather not), but it’s often not til the baby is born that people realise a baby girl doesn’t need eg dresses. Equally with ds, a few people bought him baby sized jeans and shirts which, whilst cute, are kind of wasted on a baby!

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 13/02/2023 00:24

With dc2, I wasn't planning on finding out and then my dad died and I mentioned to the sonographer that he hoped it was a girl. Although it wasn't our Trust's policy to tell (don't think its cultural as we're in rural Scotland), she said she would if she was sure but couldn't confirm either way because baby wasnt cooperating. I picked out some of my favourites from dc1's stuff (boy) and bought some neutrals.

Dc2 arrived. Definitely a girl and within a week we were drowning in an avalanche of pink flowery stuff bought by friends and family.

Based off that and dc2's current behaviour (as an opinionated 4 year old who refuses to wear anything "neutral"), I'd get a couple of neutrals and then buy more after they're born.

AaaaaandBreathe · 13/02/2023 00:26

4d gender scan, they're great.

lifeinthehills · 13/02/2023 01:37

You have to see what suits them anyway. DD 1 had lots of blue items. They just seemed to suit her well. DDs 2-4 had more pink. It just felt right. I tended to put my boys in darker blues and the younger one in bright colours.

LadyJ2023 · 13/02/2023 03:02

We didn't find out properly till 4 weeks before the twins girls were born as they never wanted to let the scan see them properly. The sonogrophers said they thought at least 1 was a girl but could never totally verify.

Fraaahnces · 13/02/2023 03:18

I was carrying twins. One made it abundantly clear that he was a boyo. Would have been very disappointed if I hadn’t wanted to find out! 🤣 Meanwhile, the other baby was sitting with their legs tucked tightly under their bum with the cord wrapped on their lap. Whenever they were prodded, they tucked up even more tightly. The sonographer said that she couldn’t see anything at all, but that was the behaviour normally exhibited by girls and because I was carrying twins, I would have plenty more scans to confirm this. I had the same thing happen, then the obstetrician (locum, thank goodness!) swore blind that it was DEFINITELY a boy…. Said that she had had more than 20 years experience and had NEVER been wrong. The sonographer in the background widened their eyes and looked at me and very subtly shook their head. I thanked the doctor and waddled out. Next scan showed that the baby was definitely NOT a boy. So much for “Never been wrong…” liar.

palelavender · 13/02/2023 04:57

At the twenty week scan, blind Freddie could have seen the gender with both my children. The person doing one scan chuckled and said, "He's certainly not shy!" I did know from the amnio so it wasn't a surprise.

Lordofmyflies · 13/02/2023 05:01

Just buy multi packs of white vests and babygrows. Tbh, most babies have a habit of spraying mustard yellow poo up their back for the first 6 months anyway. At least you can bleach white.

Forgooodnesssakenow · 13/02/2023 05:04

We didn't find out with either child, we bought baby grows, furniture etc in colours we liked. I liked a lot of cute prints, so eldest ended up in lots of animal prints, teddy bear prints, burnt orange, teal, strong colours seemed to be all the rage 5 years ago. Youngest is 1.5 and the trends seemed to change because she ended up in lots of grey, beige and other neutrals with teddy bear, elephant, hearts etc more low key prints.

Eldest had a white crib with white sheets, youngest a next to me with grey sheets and a Moses basket with yellow. Both went in the navy pram we chose by virtue of the navy being heavily on sale when we shopped. (amazing bargain, joolz geo down from 1k to £600 and we had vouchers we'd gotten for our wedding leftover totalling £300 so we got an amazingly sturdy pram we'd never have spent £1k on otherwise)

We got lots of pink and blue and dinosaur and floral once they were born from people as gifts. Then we bought what we liked after. You literally need 2/3 packs of baby grows, same of vests, some nappies and a safe sleep surface for them coming home, bottles and formula if not breastfeeding.

28January · 13/02/2023 05:41

So the sonographer said he wasn’t sure, that is not uncommon . You will just have to wait until baby is born.

VestaTilley · 13/02/2023 06:48

Why do you need to know the sex? You know boys can wear pink don’t you? Those scans are often wrong - we’ve had two friends whose babies were born the opposite sex to what they were told they were having.

“girly bits”? This isn’t the 1950s. Dress your baby in every colour of the rainbow and love them whatever. This pigeonholing of kids before they’re even born is so unhealthy.

Cosmos123 · 13/02/2023 07:18

Popplcroft · 12/02/2023 23:17

What are girly bits? I assume you’re not thinking of buying dresses, tampons or the like for a newborn?

buy what you want

Tampons😂

plumduck · 13/02/2023 07:22

What "girly" bits do you want? If you really want to then buy a few "girly" clothes and then return them if it's a boy?

Cosmos123 · 13/02/2023 07:22

I knew I was having a boy but still bought a lovely soft pink blanket to take him home in.
It was so soft and georgous.

I never thought about it.

3kidswouldfinishanyoneoff · 13/02/2023 07:25

Op, have you ever wondered where all the mean girls from school ended up......well now you know it's Mumsnet.

Congrats on your pregnancy 💖

BrendaWearingBaffies · 13/02/2023 07:34

Not a big deal. Just buy some babygrows in neutral colours. Babies don't care what they wear.

RampantIvy · 13/02/2023 07:44

I don't understand the obsession with wanting to know the sex before the baby is born unless it is for health reasons.

I had no idea until DD was born. To me it is like knowing what you are getting for Christmas or birthday before you unwrap your present. It spoils the surprise.

"Hi friend, I have just had a baby girl"
"Yeah, I know"

Bellaphant · 13/02/2023 07:49

Ww had the same: she said 'i wouldn't bet your house on it though ', as she hadn't seen anything, but she also said that not seeing anything suggests girl.

We had a scan at 36 weeks and jokingly asked 'still a girl?' to be told no!

It's more common than you think X

plumduck · 13/02/2023 07:59

RampantIvy · 13/02/2023 07:44

I don't understand the obsession with wanting to know the sex before the baby is born unless it is for health reasons.

I had no idea until DD was born. To me it is like knowing what you are getting for Christmas or birthday before you unwrap your present. It spoils the surprise.

"Hi friend, I have just had a baby girl"
"Yeah, I know"

It helped me think of a name

cptartapp · 13/02/2023 08:00

I wanted to know the sex both times. I know more than one person who woke from anaesthesia to find everyone else knew before them, and they had to try and process the information all groggy and disorientated.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 13/02/2023 08:05

Turnt?!

Soakitup37 · 13/02/2023 08:08

Amazed by the snarky remarks here, on a forum called MUMs net. You should be ashamed.

Everyone speculates about the baby’s gender and will use it to find out what to buy. The pregnancy forums are FULL of the question of what is the gender, gender guesses etc. it’s part of the fun of pregnancy.

op didn’t have to say she wasn’t grateful the baby is healthy - that goes without saying.

op it very often is the case that they can’t tell as clearly for a girl, and in any case they don’t like to give a 100% guarantee as you just don’t know before baby is born. A private scan might be the way to go if you want a chance to have a good look at check again.

you can buy whatever you like, you don’t need permission from anyone here.