Why the hell do some parents do this?

[Atethehalloweenchocs]

Went out for a nice celebration lunch. It was a step up from your regular restaurant, the kind of place where chef sounds out an amuse bouche, there is one menu for the day, the waiters put on white gloves to bring your plates and cutlery etc etc. But pretentious, but had heard good things and it was amazing food. And expensive, but a celebration so we splashed out. Near us was a group which a young couple with their two children. One was a babe in arms who cried - fair enough, babies cry and after a while of not being able to quiet him or her, dad went out and walked around outside. Much appreciated that he did that. However, the other child, a girl of about 5 or 6, was allowed to sing, at the top of her voice for over an hour. The same line over and over, which I finally worked out was 'I don't care' from Let It Go. For a fucking hour. I get it is hard to manage kids in public sometimes but you could see people looking from all over the restaurant. If we had been in the local pub I would not have thought twice. But in a place which is way out of most peoples usual daily reach, am I unreasonable to think those parents should have said something to this child and told her to stop?

Doesn't matter if the child does have SN. Not okay. If the parents didn't react you should have quietly asked them to stop the child(red) or take them out. Why even bother the waiters? This is clearly not ok.

My kids are not toddlers anymore and we stuck to family type places anyway, and still do. But I can't get my knickers in a twist about other peoples kids unless they're actually taking food from my plate. Yes it was probably annoying but what the hell. Life's too short to be so po-faced about everything.

Clearly they were entitled. Even at a greasy spoon it wouldn't be considered acceptable to let your kid sing loudly for an hour

Yes. So other people spend lots of money, maybe be on a very rare meal out, so your children can learn how to behave

That seems fair...

Or, alternatively, you actually teach them how to behave in the bloody first place!

It is possible to have money and children and go to nice restaurants and be a responsible parent

I see it all the time.

This was just one of those times where the parents weren't any good

But if your DC can't cope, you do something about it. So it's not the same as the OP's situation

It's the parents that don't do anything that's the problem

• Complain to the manager
• Direct said family to a chavvy fast food chain
• Leave

Totally agree, unfortunately I don't think parents like this care much about anyone except themselves

oh for heaven's sake, the world doesn't exist as a lab for your children.

It is actually indicative of a bigger problem. These children get older and enter schools with the same lack of boundaries as they've never been taught that the world does not revolve around them. They try to dominate the classroom and the other pupils while the parents are oblivious and point fingers at all the other children for reacting back to the insufferable behaviour.

They get to the preteens and the behaviour either calms as said child works it out or deteriorates even further and said parent either doesn't understand where this behaviour has come from or continues to indulge it. And so it continues. Behaviour is reported to be worse than ever in schools. It's not just down to covid. This has been a gradual slow erosion of what is acceptable behaviour imo. Covid may have exacerbated it but it had already started way before that. I'm not including children with SEND in this who may find it harder though. In fact, I'd imagine it's harder to help your children with SEND to regulate when children (and some adults) behave in such a way.

You have to remember that for some people eating in an extremely fancy restaurant is just their every day experience. It isn't special to them, it isn't something they've saved up for and looked forward to, it's just a run of the mill meal out.

which just demonstrates that money doesn’t equal manners or class.

which just demonstrates that money doesn’t equal manners or class.
Well obviously how much money you have isn’t an indication of how good your manners are or what class you are. Why did you think it did?

Did I say I just let them behave the way they are behaving?

Did I say I don't 'teach' them how they should try and behave? It's not beyond me actually.

It's beyond those who have said kids shouldn't be 'allowed' at certain places. 🙄

Would of asked to be moved to a different table out of earshot from the wailing child or left.

The child will grow up to be like the adult one recent flight watching a recipe video without headphones and on loud. They were 3 or 4 rows behind and I could hear every word clearly. Thankfully one of the cabin crew told her to use headphones. I thought half the plane was going to applaud.

I would expect a decent restaurant to deal with it without you having to complain

But you don't know the circumstances maybe it was a birthday maybe the child has additional needs you'll never know so a little grace maybe is in order.
where is the grace to the other diners? It was a special occasion for me.
When she can't regulate herself I take her out to the play area most of these places have let her burn off some energy and try again. I really wish people would let brand all noisey children as the naughty off spring of crap parents. It's very unkind and disheartening to those people who are throwing everything they have into raising kind, considerate, happy humans
But that is not what the parents were doing - they just let her keep doing it without mentioning anything to her. If they had tried to stop it, it would have been one thing, it was the complete lack of action or concern that was the issue.

Moral of the story other people exist. They're sometimes annoying, they sometimes ruin your day out. But that's life.
Oh stop. This was repeated behaviour which no one corrected. Not a one off thing. I exist too, why should my lunch have been disturbed like this? It is just entitled.

Life's too short to be so po-faced about everything.

Not po faced to call out bad parenting.

I would expect a decent restaurant to deal with it without you having to complain

Quite,

So would I, in the same way the cabin crew did.

Why shouldn’t kids get the opportunity to have a nice lunch (with amuse bouche 😂) same as adults?

They should. They just can’t be allowed to sing loudly and disturb other diners - same as adults.

@roundtable - oh yes seen a few of those! Definitely on the parents - raising kids with seriously deficient character.

Was about to ask if it was Katie Hayes child until I saw the age…

Wow, how annoying. The parents shouldn’t have taken children like that to a place like that.

I taught my son to speak in a soft voice in restaurants from age 2/3. It isn’t that hard unless SEN are involved. If their kid is badly behaved they could at least have given her an ipad game on silent.

Lazy parenting = nightmare kids. Comfort yourself with the thought that, not having done any of the basic groundwork on good manners, those parents will struggle in the teenage years!

Special children have just as much right to be in society as anyone else.

OK, what if an adult with SN was making a loud noise, should they be removed?

Sounds like a person with no perception of other people's feelings, a sociopath.

I've explained to my daughter that other people are here to enjoy things, bus, restaurant, and she doesn't do that, never has, not persistently.

If the child has additional needs that means they can't get this rule you don't take them.