Why the hell do some parents do this?

[Atethehalloweenchocs]

Went out for a nice celebration lunch. It was a step up from your regular restaurant, the kind of place where chef sounds out an amuse bouche, there is one menu for the day, the waiters put on white gloves to bring your plates and cutlery etc etc. But pretentious, but had heard good things and it was amazing food. And expensive, but a celebration so we splashed out. Near us was a group which a young couple with their two children. One was a babe in arms who cried - fair enough, babies cry and after a while of not being able to quiet him or her, dad went out and walked around outside. Much appreciated that he did that. However, the other child, a girl of about 5 or 6, was allowed to sing, at the top of her voice for over an hour. The same line over and over, which I finally worked out was 'I don't care' from Let It Go. For a fucking hour. I get it is hard to manage kids in public sometimes but you could see people looking from all over the restaurant. If we had been in the local pub I would not have thought twice. But in a place which is way out of most peoples usual daily reach, am I unreasonable to think those parents should have said something to this child and told her to stop?

My point is not about being upset by disabled people, far from it. My point is about the behaviour. If a learning disability means that someone's behaviour upsets others then they are perhaps in a situation inappropriate for them. So if someone cannot stop making loud repetitive noises don't take them to posh restaurants, or the theatre for example.

Op I have a 9 and 8 year old and no way would I have ever let them do that even in a family focused pub.

They've just started to enjoy fancier restaurants but they've been taught how to behave.

I'd have complained to the manager.

If I'd been the parent of the child I would probably have put them on my phone with a silent game. I have done this when they were younger because long meals are boring for kids.

They should have left their children at home. Some parents are frightened to leave their children with babysitters and so take them

I think the parents sound completely unreasonable and the little girl has obviously not been taught any manners or social skills.
Any normal parent would actually talk to their child rather than let them have to entertain themselves by singing for over an hour.
The father seems to have made an effort with the baby though.

I once had to have breakfast at a hotel where a child stood on a chair, facing into the main part of the room and belted out a song at the top of his lungs whilst looking around the diners, clearly assuming he was being appreciated by everyone.

It’s brilliant that parents teach their children that their views are worthy of being heard and that singing is a nice thing to do. However, there’s a time and a place and these kids aren’t going to learn that by being allowed to behave so poorly.
It sounds like this particular family don’t have much in the way of communication skills. I feel sorry for all of them, and definitely for you as your celebration was spoiled.

I would have left my children at home. Some parents don't like leaving their children with babysitters and so take them everywhere, but not everywhere is appropriate for young children.
Lockdowns have made some people less thoughtful of others but I'd like to think that their babysitter cancelled on them and they had no choice but to take them...

There are so many people with children nowadays that are not actually interested in being parents.

Missingpop
haha love it! 👏👏

New baby crying in a pram in a restaurant. The high pitched cry where they do that little shuddering noise, before they take a breath to scream again for the entire time it took the two women with the baby to finish a two course meal, followed by coffee and mints.
Only when they’d licked every crumb from their desert plates did they deign to pick him up, by this time he was gulping and sobbing, it was heart rending.

Restaurants are public places. If you dine in a public place you will meet the public. If you don’t want to most restaurants have private rooms. Anyone who can afford the food can eat in a restaurant (unless their are age restrictions) it is against the law to exclude disabled people because you don’t like being around their disability (or people with other protected characteristics).

That said I don’t think OP said the child was disabled. If another guest is bothering you (Eg discussing something offensive loudly or is unpleasantly drunk or singing repeatedly) then by all means ask them to stop or ask the waiter if they can help.

Did you ask the wait staff to speak to them? This sort of thing wouldn’t bother me at all. The kid could have additional needs or something (I say that as someone with ADHD and autism) or she was maybe excited. I appreciate it bothered you though so I’d say the staff should’ve sorted it

Kids should behave even in a family friendly place like Pizza Express. Shouting, crying, screeching, running about isn't OK anywhere really (apart from soft play and even then it's annoying). Mine went to Catholic primary and they were expected to sit still through quite long assemblies. They were able to sit through mass as toddlers.

I imagine that the adults were just ignoring her instead of speaking to her. It's even worse when you have saved up for a special treat.

FFS

The same line, over and over for an hour?

Tbh I don't think the child's happiness needs to be everyone else's top priority in this situation. What's wrong with modelling appropriate behaviour?

Disgusting, I’d have complained, they should have gone to MacDs

if they can’t control their child.

Well this thread has made the papers

www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/woman-rages-after-child-ruins-29195561?fbclid=IwAR3Lewr7Inf21o7G5Q_uqsbz0Bjxl4O5HDwev0veGJJn-UmDEYc8-AoYt-w

Eugh other people’s ill behaved kids are the worst. My niece is always very loud when we are out, to the point where my husband and I find it very difficult and embarrassing but her parents seem to encourage it. My kids start looking over thinking that’s the way to behave and get confused when I say that’s not acceptable to shout, squeal and sing at the top of their lungs in restaurant. Needless to say we have stopped eating out with them.

Rural north? Was it Fischer’s in Baslow? Because same thing happened to me there many moons ago, Michelin star restaurant something that’s a real treat for people on my budget! Completely ruined by an obnoxious kid singing and chair dancing.

They changed it to children 8 or over only I believe quite a while ago. Not sure if it’s enforced though, I haven’t been back because it’s pricey.

You get some parents who don’t give a shit and other parents who are extremely considerate towards others. It tends to be a reflection on how they are a person in all situations. It’s beyond me how parents don’t give a shit

By far the most disrespectful behaviour I have seen in a restaurant in England has been from adults.

Pesky children-who’d have em!

If it bothered you that much, you should have said something. Otherwise, accept that eating out may involve noisy children.

They were probably allowed to sing at restaurants by their parents when they were kids @Hippoh

"If a learning disability means that someone's behaviour upsets others then they are perhaps in a situation inappropriate for them."

Or perhaps the others should suck it up or leave. People with a learning disability are not less than you.

I do find it amusing how on every thread where someone is bothered by a badly behaved child in a “family friendly” restaurant, MN immediately scolds them for not going to a high end place where kids are unlikely to be present.

And when someone posts about their high end meal being ruined. MN immediately scolds them for thinking that paying more for a meal entitles them to a nicer atmosphere, as kids shouldn’t be relegated to family friendly places only.

The only way to be wrong on MN is to not gaze benignly horribly-behaved kids that seem to be everywhere nowadays, humbled to be witnessing their happiness.

@fitzwilliamdarcy nah I think @Atethehalloweenchocs could have just said something at the time.

😂