Why the hell do some parents do this?

[Atethehalloweenchocs]

Went out for a nice celebration lunch. It was a step up from your regular restaurant, the kind of place where chef sounds out an amuse bouche, there is one menu for the day, the waiters put on white gloves to bring your plates and cutlery etc etc. But pretentious, but had heard good things and it was amazing food. And expensive, but a celebration so we splashed out. Near us was a group which a young couple with their two children. One was a babe in arms who cried - fair enough, babies cry and after a while of not being able to quiet him or her, dad went out and walked around outside. Much appreciated that he did that. However, the other child, a girl of about 5 or 6, was allowed to sing, at the top of her voice for over an hour. The same line over and over, which I finally worked out was 'I don't care' from Let It Go. For a fucking hour. I get it is hard to manage kids in public sometimes but you could see people looking from all over the restaurant. If we had been in the local pub I would not have thought twice. But in a place which is way out of most peoples usual daily reach, am I unreasonable to think those parents should have said something to this child and told her to stop?

@AllOfThemWitches looking at the post from @Mumsanetta my child still is very much an inconvenience to society. He's only allowed to access places where he doesn't annoy people. Hell, we currently can't even access soft play without a lot of effort and trauma.
This thread is so upsetting. It just makes reality seem so much more isolating and dreary than I thought it was. And I already have a lot of conflicting feelings over having a special needs child already

I don’t agree. How will they learn to behave if they are never exposed to the environment?
Our dc behaved appropriately in ‘fancy places’ because we taught them how to.

The difficulty arises when someone's disability affects other people. Would you allow a child to hurt or attack others because they had a learning disability? So how much antisocial behaviour, by someone who is not neurotypical, should be expected to be tolerated?

My child has a disability that means that certain activities and venues are just not appropriate for them so I don’t take them and stick to stuff that suits them. In my experience, there’s always an alternative to a fancy, expensive restaurant. And if that makes me a piece of shit then so be it.

My child has not always behaved in restaurants but I also didn’t sit and allow them to disrupt other people’s experience because I personally wanted to be there. For me, that meant I went through a period of having to leave restaurants mid-meal or before I had even ordered because my child was behaving inappropriately!

yes very annoying.
In a pizza express or similar at lunch or early serving in the evening I would say its perfectly acceptable. Posh restaurant - absolutely not.
We went out for a special birthday meal when our kids were very young (age about 2 and 5). We got babysitters and it was probably the first proper night out without kids we had had in about 5 years (since DD1 arrived). Ended up next to a couple who brought their 2 year old out on a saturday night.
Restaurant was central london, well known chef, difficult to get a booking type place. I love kids but if I wanted my evening spoilt by a 2 year old (who was very cute but still a 2 year old) I would have brought my own kids. I thought the couple were incredibly selfish. So you are Definitely not being unreasonable.

Really... do you command what comes out of your kids' mouths? I have a kid that sings constantly but i would never shame her for it. She makes up songs, sings what she assumes is the right words but is always invariably wrong but its all cool.
I would never shame her for singing. What I am annoyed at is this country is so disrespectful of her right to be a child in a social situation.

So you would take your child to the theatre and allow them to sing throughout because you don’t want to shame her and it’s cool?

No... just the basics of eating x

"my autistic boy would be talking about his his stick for an hour or more. No amount of parenting would stop him. It's opinions like this that prevent me taking him places. It's exhausting just surviving as a parent of a child like this"

Ignore the stupid arseholes making ignorant comments because they are feeling brave on an anonymous forum. They are worthless.

Totally! If I’m enjoying some me time I do NOT want to listen to other peoples kids! Same with supermarkets where there are two parents AND the kids!! One of you STAY AT HOME it’s not a family outing and I don’t care for your screaming kids no matter how cute you think everyone to find them… entitled twits that are on the increase unfortunately…

I don’t think it matters that it was an expensive place. Chn need to be taught to be aware of their surroundings and other people.
I was in a cafe yesterday where a 3/4 year old repeatedly banged her plastic cup on the table. Mum was just ignoring her. Luckily I wasn’t too close or I would have said something.

@Hippoh you can manage the basics of eating at Pizza Express and not at The Ivy.

Sorry but I’d have said something to the waiter & asked to discreetly ask the parent to shut her fucking little brat the hell up; it gets on my tits when your out having an adult meal with friends & family & some little gobshite, ruins it with their bratty kid misbehaving; in the theme of the song
”Fuck it all Fuck it all I can’t take it Anymore, shut your gob; shut your gob; or I’ll kick you right out the door it’s unfair, I’m paying my share; if you don’t pipe down I’ll shut you up permanently anyway”
I hope this has soothed your nerves 😂😂😂

Oh and the usual ‘my kid is autistic’ that come out on these my son has ASD with PAB and I wouldn’t dream of taking him to a place where I know he could inflict noise on other people experience… I would get a babysitter or just avoid there’s plenty of things to do with him where noise doesn’t matter but I believe there’s a thing called ‘consideration for others’ there could be an adult at a usually quiet, serene setting that has chosen this setting because they get over stimulated by noise and then BANG some entitled ‘my child has every right to be hear screaming’ sets off their disability SO YES… be considerate to the setting people it’s not difficult and you’re not entitled to disrupt something for someone else period

Soft play is an appropriate place to take a noisy child. A posh restaurant in the evening, not so much.

This is not rocket science.

Well at least i’m not the only piece of shit out in force today.

If my autistic teenager has to put up with people yapping at the next table then they can put up with his repetative noises. Give and take.

Management should have stepped up and spoke to the parents. A child should not be allowed to ruin a dining experience for the other diners.

What's your solution then, hmm? Keep disabled people locked away?

Ah you're one of those 'my child is disabled so I'm allowed to spew ableist crap freely,' it's so sad that you feel your kid is less important than well off, able bodied, neurotypical, favoured by society people.

The OP clearly says it was a girl. So no, it’s not about you. And I think you knew that

How annoying! I had 3 children (all grown up now) and could always take them anywhere. Parents don’t seem to discipline kids nowadays.

I've been in Chez Bruce within the last 6 months with a child of about 6 at the next table, weekday evening not lunchtime.

Well, I have been but never taken the little ones to The Ivy (works do) and in my opinion totally not worth the hype. Just think we all need to be aware that children need to be socialised and shaming those who try in their own way is a but rubbish.