Leaving 3 month baby for Hen do

[Layray]

First time mum-to-be here and starting to plan my hen do. Getting married at Christmas so thinking October time for hen do. Baby will be about 3 months old by then and I don’t know if it is unreasonable to think I could leave my baby with partner for 2 nights?

Sisters are planning hen and they’re keen for a Friday/sat night hen in a lodge. We live about 5 minutes away from the lodge.

Has anyone else had their hen do with a new baby. What did you do? Would one night be better? Just don’t want to miss out on a proper hen experience!

So AIBU to leave baby for 2 nights for my hen do?

Ah OP I hope you're not feeling bad about some of these replies. Just see how you feel and work it out with your partner. Please take no notice of those, "I breastfed until mine was 10 and didn't leave their side until I waved them off to university" responses.

It’s 5 minutes away, of course it’s fine.

I didn't leave either of mine for an overnight before they were a year old. However obvs it's a different situation being ur hen do.

If it's really close maybe u cld go home for a few hours the second day. I'd be more inclined though to do 1 overnight and go home.

If ur breastfeeding though that might be a massive issue if ur baby won't take a bottle.

I would rather do a big post-wedding girls weekend in the summer in your shoes. You'll be able to enjoy yourself and relax. You'll also really appreciate getting away by that point and having a proper break.

I couldn't have done it. I have three children and whilst before my first was born I thought I would be the "relaxed" mum happy to leave baby.... well baby arrived and I find it manageable from the time baby is 12 months old.
But you might feel different. I know lots of mums who feel different about these things.

Have the hen before the birth maybe?

I don't think you will want to leave your baby for 2 nights at 3 months old, especially if breastfeeding. God my two are nearly 3 years and nearly 10 months and I haven't been away from them. I'm pathetic though 😄
You really don't know how it will go til it goes I guess. Could you plan a day out instead?

Posts like this make me feel like I'm a weirdo... I went away on a girls weekend when mine was that age. But it's all about what you're comfortable with 😊

I’ve got 4 and wasn’t able to leave any of them at 3 months old for any length of time tbh never mind overnight but don’t judge those who can. I breastfed so that makes it harder to leave them anyway but emotionally I wouldn’t have been able to either. I’d maybe wait till baby is here and decide then. 5 mins away makes things more manageable I guess but I think you’ll find the majority of new mums can’t leave their babies at 3 months for 2nights even with a more than capable partner x

You can drink as much as you like and don't even need to pump and dump

Same!

Cant imagine what it’s like to have not had a night away for a whole 12 months like a lot of people on here.

I wouldn't of been able to leave my son at that age.

No brainer enjoy your hen do

Meant to add you are totally not being unreasonable to leave them btw it’s just whether you would be able to x

3 months is so little, OP. You won’t know how you feel until the time comes. I wouldn’t plan anything requiring deposits etc. Over 6 months might be a bit more realistic, but even then it’s impossible to know now whether you’ll want to go. I wasn’t away from either of my children overnight until well over a year but everyone’s situation is different. You’ll have a better sense bearer the time. I wouldn’t plan more than 1 night away, to be safe

To those posters who never have nights away from their kids - how?!
how do you do it?!

no judgement but just curious! Hats off to you in fact.

do you not miss nights out? Nights away with your partner? Etc

I think I would really struggle with it

I wasn't ready at that stage. Some women are.
It's hard to know how you feel.
I am wondering what the point of a lodge 5 minutes from your house is. If your not actually bothering to go away then why not just go out for a lovely meal and save some money.

Same! DH and I have had joint nights away and separate. Some of these posts are so self righteous 🤦🏼‍♀️ Just because you’re a mum doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to have a fun time away if that’s what you want. You do you.

I would not judge someone who chose this, but it is definitely not for me. Partly due to breastfeeding,but also because I just would not want to leave them. I have a essential work trip in August. It is not an overnight and I just do not want to go. My baby will be 9 months and I already feel sick thinking of it tbh.

You will be leaving your baby with its father, not a stranger (who is an equal parent). Go and enjoy yourself for heck's sake. He would leave it with you, without him!

Not really sure if I understand the relevance of being 5 minutes away … are you planning on going backwards and forwards?

Would I leave my 12 week old baby for a weekend … absolutely not. Prior to the birth would I have thought I could absolutely.

It’s honestly impossible to tell OP. With my DD I’d have chopped my right leg off to have a 2 night stay away. I remember having a night out when she was 6 weeks old and crying on the way home because the night was over and I had to go home 🤣

With my DS he was 1 before I felt comfortable leaving him for more than a few hours. Which I didn’t expect.

This! The posters insinuating baby will be distressed, for goodness sake.
I did it last year, DS was 3 months old. He was absolutely fine and I enjoyed the break.
You're only 5 mins away so you could always spend the days there and come home on the night if you wanted.

How? Easily.

We had children because we wanted to be a family and spend time together. Not to palm them off on someone else.

We were never big going out people anyway and we don’t drink, so there’s nothing we can’t do without them.

@MelaniesFlowers

are you saying people should only have kids if they wanna be with them 24/7??!

also I guess it makes sense for you if you didn’t like going out much in the first place.

So I guess my question is more for those who did enjoy an active social life before becoming a parent

Not unreasonable but you won't know how you feel until the time comes. I know one person who has been comfortable leaving their baby from very early on but most people I know have found it hard to have a few hours away for the first time and that's when babies were at least 6 months old. I couldn't have left mine at that age.