Leaving 3 month baby for Hen do

[Layray]

First time mum-to-be here and starting to plan my hen do. Getting married at Christmas so thinking October time for hen do. Baby will be about 3 months old by then and I don’t know if it is unreasonable to think I could leave my baby with partner for 2 nights?

Sisters are planning hen and they’re keen for a Friday/sat night hen in a lodge. We live about 5 minutes away from the lodge.

Has anyone else had their hen do with a new baby. What did you do? Would one night be better? Just don’t want to miss out on a proper hen experience!

So AIBU to leave baby for 2 nights for my hen do?

And I hope you never watched TV @shortandpaleandoldandugly when yours were babies. Why would you do that? It’s not necessary and totally selfish enjoyment!!

It doesn’t matter how old your children are - why aren’t you focussing on them right now? Awful! Poor children

They are both out and might have an issue with me stalking them...

So?

You’re a mother now - you could be preparing for their return, cooking a homemade meal or still do something for them? Nothing is more important than that surely? I really hope you aren’t enjoying yourself in any way while they’re not around?

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl

There is a wide and healthy middle ground between being a joyless martyr and being a grown adult with responsibilities who brags about going on benders like some teenager.

My pearls and I have plenty of fun, thank you.

Sure you do.

Again - the problem is with drinking. Interesting. What’s your issue? Do you think fun for mums is allowed UNLESS it involves alcohol? Why is that?

It would be so much easier if people just admitted that they were a snob or that they’re jealous. All this fake concern is so bloody obtusely irritating.

I managed one night away with my youngest at that age (but I left home at 7pm and was back by 11am) but my oldest would only breastfeed so it would have been impossible.

If you’re breastfeeding it’s going to be tricky generally to be honest.

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl is just a poster to be ignored. All she does is spend her time goading posters, making stuff up and advance searching them.

It’s sad really but if that’s all she has to fill her days 🤷‍♀️

You’re a mother now - you could be preparing for their return, cooking a homemade meal or still do something for them? Nothing is more important than that surely? I really hope you aren’t enjoying yourself in any way while they’re not around?

The lengths to which some people will go to justify leaving a three month old baby for a three day piss up is quite something.

😂😂 Oh so you don’t like that I call out your judgmental bullshit then.

What have I made up? Do tell.

Leaving a 3mo with their parent? Disgraceful 🤣

Still haven’t heard a good reason as to why this is unacceptable yet?

YOU were The one who said only important and necessary things should be undertaken by parents. Obviously you didn’t count yourself in this.

Why don’t you have the hen do this summer holidays, before you have the baby?

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl I have a healthy relationship with alcohol, thank you for your concern.

British culture is fairly fucked up the way it's normalised binge drinking and benders to the point where someone like yourself thinks there must be a problem with someone who doesn't see the value in it.

If you genuinely don't see the issue, maybe have a google and read some reputable resources about the impacts of binge drinking (if they say it's a great way to improve your parenting, please come back so I can apologise for how wrong I've been!)

I'm off now, have a great day.

Leaving a 3mo with their parent? Disgraceful
To be absolutely clear, I'd have a similar issue with a dad leaving a 3 month old to go on a three day stag party- as I suspect would many on here.

My initial comment was about why hen parties need to be so bloody long- especially given we're talking her about a couple who already have a baby and presumably live together. As I said previously, I'm only glad that I'm old enough to have avoided all the bloody hen nonsense.

I imagine because she wants to enjoy herself without feeling huge and uncomfortable and possibly also wants to be able to have some alcohol.

YOU were The one who said only important and necessary things should be undertaken by parents

Was I? Where did I say that then?

So you don’t ever eat chocolate, or have a takeaway, or do anything you’re not advised to do, ever?

I don’t think there’s a problem with people who don’t binge drink. I think there’s a problem with some people who see it as something that women who’ve had babies shouldn’t do presumably because becoming a mother makes you ‘lesser’ and therefore you should only enjoy yourself in a very particular way.

So where do you stand on single mother’s with no man around? How do you think a baby copes if it needs 2 parents constantly around for an infinite amount of time

@StarsSand said it hit you ‘absolutely agreed’ with that particular paragraph.

Anyway you haven’t answered the question of did you do anything that wasn’t necessary or important - such as watch TV or read a book - when you had a 3mo? I hope you didn’t!

I don’t really care what nonsense you type out 🤷‍♀️ You’ve never said anything of value and your contributions to every single post are worthless.

Honestly this pearl clutching about a hen do with alcohol(when they’ve also said an afternoon tea would be acceptable) just makes people sound jealous and/or unhinged.

In your opinion. How arrogant to state this like it’s fact

And seen as you are the resident MN judgey fucker I really don’t care for your opinion

Most people I imagine don't go on "3 day benders" or hen dos every weekend though. The OP was talking about a special occasion?

OP has never actually said if she'd be drinking the 2 nights she'd be away, never mind binge drinking.

She'll be 5 minutes away at a lodge with her sisters. I imagine it will involve a hot tub and a few glasses of wine. It's hardly a pub crawl in Blackpool with inflatable dicks.

Though I don't see anything wrong with a parent doing the latter, it just doesn't seem to be what OP means by a 'proper' hen experience.

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl this is what I agreed with:

It amazes me the way people passionately argue for people to get drunk and party like it's this important and necessary thing

Not quite the same as the words you are crediting to me is it.