Childcare excluded my child

[BrokenAndAfraid]

My child aged 7 sneaked a mobile phone in to school and from there into childcare. Of course I accept she was naughty and shouldn't have done it.
the childcare facility has now excluded my child - as she took a photo of another child - whist under there care.
They have said she had created a safeguarding issue.
She was caught by the staff and asked not to play on the phone, but they did not confiscate it. They handed it back to her. Older children have phones so this confused her. The phone has no sim and access to internet - it's used to play games.
AIBU to expect them to take responsibility for allowing a child to play with a phone? And then to exclude her with no prior warning?

Sorry but this is bonkers and I can’t believe some of the responses on here!!!

She is 7!! A baby a young child she took her phone to show off, play with blah blah that’s what they do. She took her own phone (against rules yes) but her own!

She the proceeded to take a picture, a picture!! How more innocent can life be a selfie with a friend.

It makes me so so sad that children’s innocence is being stripped away by claiming everything is a safe guarding thing and the only take pictures with permission they are kids, leave them be.

Honestly OP I’d be on to the care commission tomorrow. It’s a massive over reaction and will cause your child emotional pain and confusion.

Who exactly was supervising during this time??? Imagine she chocked, fell over, got stabbed with the real scissors that are now so acceptable in kids care centres

I think you should take accountability here, your child snuck a phone out of the house, hid it at school all day, was trusted to do what she was asked and put it away yet snuck it again and did exactly what she was told not to.
I'd be apologising so much to the parent and childcare setting and showing I'd taken action as a parent. I also would not give a 7 year old a phone in the first place

I do agree that the phone should have been confiscated once they knew she had it.

However - I also don't think a 7 year old
Should have a phone at all and she absolutely shouldn't have taken it to school and then after school club.

She took a photo which was innocent to you but the child the photo is of (or could have been of) may be in care, witness protection etc. She COULD have taken any number of photos of anything - that is the point. She had the ability to.

She broke the rules and was excluded. That is the decision that has been made. I realise it must be so hard but maybe try and focus on getting other plans into place rather than being angry at a decision you can't change.

I think they’ve been way over the top. She’s seven. She’s got no idea about safeguarding. And all 7 year olds make mistakes/do things they shouldn’t do. They are the adults and sounds like they didn’t act that responsibly to me. Of course it this was a repeated problem after they’d spoken to you I’d understand but sounds like they’re not that understanding.

I’m on the fence between YANBU & YABU because in this you & the school need to work together to teach the child what boundaries they crossed.

On the school’s side I think the exclusion is totally over the top BUT they failed to safeguard when they gave the phone back to your child when discovered the device. They should have removed it & kept it until the end of the day!
From your side your 7yr old child thinking it is ok to be sneaky & steal items from home needs to be dealt with.

This is a learning opportunity which a talk regarding phone use in school, phone safety & general appropriate behaviour at school & at home along with a stern talk about being sneaky is needed.

Frankly with all these posts I'm wondering whether the photo taking incident was just the straw that broke the camels back for the care provider

I certainly wouldn't a child under my care whose parents seem so keen to absolve themselves of any responsibility

@Grrrrdarling - the school have nothing to do with the exclusion. It’s just a childminder that doesn’t want to take her any more.

Of course YABU.

she snuck a phone into school when she knows she shouldn’t have.

she was asked not to play with it and she continued to.

She isn’t following instructions. Absolutely grounds to exclude.

”The phone is used as a bargaining tool - shes the youngest of 4 so wanted to play games like her older siblings do.”

Bargaining tool?
Like, instead of proper parenting?

Yet another parent with no idea how to parent.

Same applies, my brain assumed the childcare was after school childcare 😂 🙄
Childcare provider should not have given the phone back to the child as that in itself taught the child nothing & contributed to another safeguarding breach but parent needs to also take responsibility for the child being sneaky.
Blanket expulsion is OTT.

@Grrrrdarling “Same applies, my brain assumed the childcare was after school childcare 😂 🙄”

I’m not blaming your brain. I actually think OP has been quite obscure about the set up, and is leaving out a whole lot of what actually happened!

I understand the child had the reasons for not using the phone explained to her and was asked to put it in her bag and keep it there. She snuck it out again and took more photos and your blaming the childcare......why does a 7 year old need a phone? What action did you tell the setting you would take or did you just say it's your problem? If your not working with the setting they can say it's not a sustainable position

Whilst I think that the child needs to be taught to take responsibility for their actions, and the parents need a degree of accountability, this isn’t an either/or situation. Both parties can have acted badly, and I think the nursery is also in the wrong.

Firstly, the child is not young enough to realise the safe-guarding implications, which I also do not believe are very serious if the phone isn't used for social media. Delete the phone, explain the safe-guarding implication to the child, don’t let the phone come in again. Hopefully problem solved.

Secondly, the childcare should not have returned the phone if it is considered to be a serious problem. This gives really mixed messages.

Thirdly, was the child permanently excluded? If so, this seems like a huge overreaction! If it was just for the day I say take it on the chin and show your child that you agree with them suffering consequences for their bad choices. She broke their rules and will be sanctioned accordingly. Start afresh tomorrow, and move on.

They were warned as was child who then got it out again....you need to read both sides...

YANBU.

I wonder, since it was handled so badly in the moment and then the response was OTT, if this was a matter of the person providing the actual care relating the incident to a manager in an off hand way and the manager recognizing the safeguarding risk then emailed you excluding your DD as a way to try and cover their arse.

Phones are not allowed in schools or childcare....what situation is going to need a 7 year old who doesn't go anywhere on their own between school and childcare to ring 999?

I think what a lot of you are (deliberately) failing to realise is that the OP could do bugger all, once the phone was 'sneaked' out the house.

It's okay you all having digs at OP, asking how the 7 year old got the phone out of the house but that is a separate issue.

The OP is asking whether childcare are being unreasonable by not confiscating said phone and, yes, they are. They should have taken phone off child, informed parent, and carried on that route.

OP, it sounds like they were looking for an excuse, especially as said childcare would not have known it was sim free with no access to Internet. So, for a they knew, she could be accessing anything.

And ignore all the 'perfect' parents on here. They really love to elevate themselves by putting others' down.

Hope you get it sorted. And good for putting checks in place to make sure the situation doesn't repeat. I imagine you have your hands full with four children.

There would be no children left in childcare if they all got excluded as soon as they failed to follow instructions.

Occasionally not following instructions, especially with something tempting, is normal behaviour for the age range and exactly why we don’t just leave kids with tempting things they shouldn’t be playing with. Any childcare setting should be able to cope with this without needing to exclude.

She was told why she couldn't use it and to put it her bag until she was home. The child got it out again took more photos when the cm was busy. ....it's in another post.

So a 7 year old has been excluded because of the behaviour of weirdo , sick adults in the past!Crikey what happened to childhood innocence ? Yes she was wrong but most children do something wrong/ not allowed most days ...its called being a child!!
When I was that age we took camera on all trips out with school..it was considered normal!

Turn it around - if another child had taken a picture of your child on a mobile phone (I won't even ask why a 7 year old has access to a mobile phone as I can't comprehend why that would ever be an ok thing to happen!), wouldn't you be a bit fed up and wanting sanctions imposed on the picture taker? I know I would. They don't know the phone isn't connected to the internet and I'm afraid if the child is considered old enough to have a mobile phone then they should be old enough to understand when they are and aren't allowed to use it. In fact, clearly they do understand they shouldn't have had it or used it as you said they "sneaked it". Well done to the childcare provider for safeguarding the other children there, although I appreciate it's probably made things harder for you this half term which is difficult. Perhaps a suspension and a written apology would have been a better punishment, but I suppose they have rules and have stuck to them.

No she was excluded pending investigation of safeguarding risk.

It's not just weirdos...a child could be in care, hiding from DA etc ...and a photo posted later on could put them at risk of being found....it's standard not to have photos

Has the other child's parent complained? Maybe the childcare provider has to deal with a complaint as per their policy