Aibu to choose fwb over new partner

[Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy]

Myself and a friend have had a fwb relationship on and off for years we always stop when either of us are in relationship. Iv had a new boyfriend for a couple of months now and everything is great except the sex, it's not awful its just very vanilla. I have tried to explain what I like and have tried to guide him but it just doesn't match up. However the sex I have with my friend is the best iv ever had.
Aibu to end a relationship with a nice guy just so I can go back to having amazing sex with a person who has no interest in ever having a relationship with me and could meet another woman next week and end it all
Yanbu. Sex is important and you should go back to your friend as he knows exactly how to keep you happy

Does your new boyfriend know you're shagging someone else?

Life is too short for shit sex, and being in a relationship isn’t the be-all-and-end-all that would make me tolerate a crappy shag.

If you’re not happy with the new guy you should end things with him but be open to meeting somebody else dont just stick with your fwb because as you say he could meet someone and drop you at any time.

we always stop when either of us are in relationship

I don’t think she is.

I'm not shagging someone else I stopped having sex with friend when I met bf

She’s not.

To be honest sex is important and you should be loving it in the first couple of months. I would end the relationship at this stage.

I dont think your new bf deserves to be cheated on. So best finish with him and crack on with ypur fwb.

I think people saying end the relationship are right iv put up with so much crap sex in my life its only when me and my friend started doing it I learnt what good sex should be and I don't want to settle for less

She’s not cheating. It’s quite clear. It’s right there in the OP.

I'm not cheating on him iv never cheated on anyone

Entirely depends on what's more important to you but as you're thinking about shagging someone else already I'd say the relationship is a non starter, let him go and find someone who actually wants to be with him

It's not that my relationship with the new bf isn't important its just having a good sex life with someone who can give you multiple orgasms is important to

I think as long as you’re realistic about the choice you’re making - i.e. that the choice is between being in a relationship and being single, but with regular sex - I would look at ending things with the new man. It sounds like you know what you’re doing and aren’t expecting anything more from your friend, which is the main thing.

Life is too short for focusing on sex, and having good sex isn’t the be-all-and-end-all that would make me tolerate not having a happy loving and stable relationship.

The OP has only been with the new boyfriend a couple of months. Hardly a ‘loving and stable’ relationship. She’s already not happy. Being in a relationship isn’t such an important state as to settle for a crappy sex life.

There’s no right answer here because both connections on the menu are compromises.

bf = compromise sexually

fwb = compromise emotionally / socially

neither is a win.

Depends partly on what you want in life now, and what you want for the future. How old you are now comes into play. A wise older friend of mine said to me when I was dating that great sex is all well and good when you are my age (40's) but at some point what you really need is a best friend to wake up next to each day because it will drop off, not because you mean it to but illness, injury and plain old stiffness - they can still be seen holding hands after 62 years of marriage, that's true love

I'd wait a month, then I'd have an honest conversation about your sex life to your new boyfriend. If he won't get onboard then I'd end it. Sex was important to me though. It isn't as much now in my mid 50's, but it would still have to be fully satisfying.

There's obviously a compromise potentially but neither of these men are it!

Are you sure you don't have feelings for the fwb and are trying to find reasons to justify settling for that?

I'm 26 so have plenty of time to settle down. I have 2 kids and have no interest in having anymore. I'm not interested in getting married. I think when I'm older I would want a soul mate someone to grow old with but at this stage of my life I just want fun and if I meet someone who's the whole package then great but I don't want to settle and be having the these feelings a year or even 5 years down the line when feelings are going to get hurt

I do really like my fwb guy and if he wanted a relationship I'd definitely say yes but he's made it clear for him its just sex which I'm fine with

If you're not sexually compatible the relationship won't last. Better to bail now than string it along unsatisfactorily.

With the extra info I'm going to say go for fwb. As long as you're not secretly hoping he'll become your bf.