Boyfriend cancelled night away because he feels sick..aibu?

[songasongasing]

I booked a nice hotel a couple of hours away from home for tonight and paid for train fares as a little valentines treat.
Altogether cost around £250
It's been booked for a month.
Anyway it gets to today and he says "babe I feel so sick I can't go away -my back is aching and I've got a blocked nose"
Okay
So I say can we not just go -even if we just go to hotel and enjoy the room.
He refused
So that money is Wasted
Also I booked a bottomless brunch and the no show fee is £20

Anyway trains gone now so we have missed it
I'm in living room and he's watching tv in bed

Aibu to be annoyed ?

Could you have gone with your child and left your husband to recover?

Sounds like a lovely way to spend a Saturday! I would have been on that train

I'm slightly on the fence on this. It sounds to me that he is a bit sniffly and off colour, but essentially he can't be arsed. But it could of course be the start of going down with something. He went to work yesterday, despite his symptoms - which could mean he is now exhausted or that his cold isn't that bad. Difficult to tell.

Was he ever invested in this weekend, or was he lukewarm, or did he have to be talked into it? The fact that he won't reimburse you for his share of the cost is a bit off. He is not obligated, but it would be a nice gesture to share the cost.

I guess at the end of the day it comes down to how you think he feels about your relationship, @songasongasing . I kind of get the impression that he isn't as keen as he might be. Is he a keeper or is he just not that into you. Only you can assess that.

I honestly despair at this place sometimes. Most of you are fucking mental.

If this was a reverse, there'd be calls of LTB all day long if he was trying to drag her away for a kinky weekend when she was ill.

Mental.

Did you live under a rock during Covid orrrr.....

“So I say can we not just go -even if we just go to hotel and enjoy the room.”

What’s to enjoy?
Was there something special about this room? And even if so, can you enjoy it when you’re ill?
A bed is a bed is a bed. Most hotel rooms aren’t as nice as your own home. It’s the “being away” and other things you plan that makes most hotels enjoyable. Just a different room with a bed, in itself, is not something to enjoy.

What child, and what husband? 🤣

‘I don't want anyone visiting me with a self diagnosed cold‘

Do you go to the doctors to get your colds diagnosed?!

Well he's now playing on fifa so I'm sure he will live.
He's always ill
There's always something wrong with him
It was a joint thing -we both wanted to do something for valentines and I said il treat us to this weekend and his bought tickets for the theatre for two weeks time

I'd have definitely gone by myself with a good book. Taken loads of beauty stuff and just enjoyed being by myself. Mind you, I love being by myself sometimes.

Why would anyone want to go away when they feel sick, achy and unwell?

Being unwell is shit enough without being forced to "dose up and get on with it".

I would have have gone without him!!

@songasongasing Then I think you need to end it as he's taking the piss. No point venting about it here when he's like this all the time and then hanging on to him. Do you live together (sorry if I've missed that)?

I’d have gone on my own and throughly enjoyed it!

if he is feeling unwell then I completely sympathises with not wanting to leave his home and own bed etc.
If he’s not actually unwell (as you imply) then he obviously doesn’t want to go with you then there are bigger issues at stake in the relationship.

YANBU to be upset and disappointed though.

Being away when feeling ill isn’t enjoyable for most people.

you could have gone alone but decided not to.

My husband and I are both ‘powering through’ types as well as hating letting others down. I bet we would have both gone. I find whingey pathetic behaviour really unattractive. He sounds like he was being lazy and used the cold as an excuse.

I agree you should have gone alone though.

He's pathetic. I'd be heading off myself with a book and huge pile of magazines....leave him to his fifa!

Since covid became a thing I never book anything unless I can cancel even if it means paying a bit more.
250 on this weekend and then theatre in a few weeks that's a lot of money for valentines. Maybe it's just me being an old fogey lol

This one isn’t a keeper OP.

chuck him back and find one who respects the effort you’ve made

Fifa ffs. Is he 12?

For the love of god, not everything has to be “if this was the other way around…”
Its so fucking tedious.

Well there’s your answer , he prefers playing FIFA than going out with you , nice to know where you stand .

If I wasn't well, mildly ill as he appears to be, I would have gone. He sounds a bit pathetic. Not someone I would fancy

Sorry someone pised in your cornflakes this morning.

Tbh your mistake was that you stayed as well. It’s better to go and try to enjoy it, I’m sure there will be done positives out of it. No one would blame you for going by yourself or with a friend but now you are basically moaning that he’s unwell and of course you come across as not caring.
I can’t say how serious he’s ill but I know for sure that playing FIFA in your own bed after a long sleep requires much less efforts then going away for the weekend. He probably wanted to recover fully by Monday because of the job commitments and it’s not unreasonable in my books.
But he could be not arsed to go as well , I wouldn’t discount this. that’s why you going without him would be a better tactic.