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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

11/12 year old drinking

160 replies

McCrispy · 11/02/2023 09:39

at a family party
allowed 2 drinks with water in between whilst adult is monitoring

yanbu - that’s not on abs will lead to alcohol issues and associated dangers

yabu - it’s legal and allows kids to learn about drinking sensibly

OP posts:
Thesearmsofmine · 11/02/2023 13:21

No, that would make me feel really uncomfortable. I have a 12 year old and cannot imagine him having a drink. Maybe at 14/15 at a family occasion if he wanted to try it but 12 feels very young.

Boomboom22 · 11/02/2023 13:22

15 or 16, yes. 11 or 12 obviously not.

TimeToFlyNow · 11/02/2023 13:22

Not a chance, 11/12 is too young to be having alcohol

Astrak · 11/02/2023 13:28

No way was that behaviour acceptable. There is a catastrophic rise in alcohol-related child/adolescent deaths and serious accidents in which their use of alcohol is a precipitator.
Definitely a safeguarding issue.

daffodilday · 11/02/2023 13:35

Parents who do this seem to do it for their own amusement which is an odd thing to do. It certainly doesn't benefit the child in any way. An 11 year old does not need to be treated like an adult.

Maray1967 · 11/02/2023 13:36

Not before 14 and then not much. DS2 now 15 has no interest in it at all.

scrivette · 11/02/2023 13:36

No way to energy drinks.

I would let them have a very weak shandy or sips of beer and Prosecco.

My parents allowed me tastes of alcohol from that sort of age, I rarely drink now.

I found that between the ages of 16-21 my friends who were not allowed any alcohol were the ones who didn't know when to stop/went over the top etc whereas the ones who had been allowed to drink with their parents had a far more sensible attitude.

MarshaBradyo · 11/02/2023 13:38

No chance

Mummytotwonow · 11/02/2023 13:52

No. 13/14 would be the age I would consider something very weak. No way 11 or 12! What the hell?? Why just why

MidasWhale · 11/02/2023 13:53

My 12 and 14 yo have a glass of wine with Xmas Dinner and one to toast in the new year ( 12yo half a glass, 14yo full glass... I don't water it down as it goes down like pop then, 12yo finds it strong so will drink most of her half a glass but sips it)

14yo also had a mini bottle of rose with her birthday meal.

I won't allow them to have spirits or alcopos because it's dangerous I think because it seems like you're drinking pop until suddenly you're drunk

Ellie1015 · 11/02/2023 13:56

Agree with the prinicpal but for me 11/12 is too young. However if my friend allowed their child I would trust their judgement for their own child. Would be annoyed if they gave my child any alcohol.

For energy drinks I allow my 13 year old a lucazade sport occasionally. Never for red bull/monster etc.

YukoandHiro · 11/02/2023 13:59

Far too young. At sixteen and entering sixth form maybe

YukoandHiro · 11/02/2023 14:00

Me thinks your child is telling porkies tbh

TheaBrandt · 11/02/2023 14:15

If you want to be a feckless shit parent don’t include other peoples kids a family member was furious when another parent gave her 12 year old alcohol at NYE - their house being quietly crossed off the list of homes you can let your child visit in the parents network …

Hoppinggreen · 11/02/2023 16:50

TheaBrandt · 11/02/2023 14:15

If you want to be a feckless shit parent don’t include other peoples kids a family member was furious when another parent gave her 12 year old alcohol at NYE - their house being quietly crossed off the list of homes you can let your child visit in the parents network …

I’m about to take the DC away for a week and am taking a couple of their friends.
The alcohol policy has been firmly agreed with the parents in advance

mrscumberbatch11 · 11/02/2023 18:36

PuttingDownRoots · 11/02/2023 09:42

Kids that young don't need alcohol

That sounds the sort of level you would use with a 14/15yo.

Agree.

There's really no need at that age. Don't give an 11 year old alcohol.

NancyJoan · 11/02/2023 18:38

Might as well get them vaping early too.

Zola1 · 11/02/2023 18:38

Too young, my eldest is 12...maybe when she is about 14?

Ludo19 · 11/02/2023 18:41

I used to get a hot toddy if I was poorly, like sore throat and heavy cold. In cup, capful whiskey filled with hot water and a bit of honey
I got a wee sip of sherry at new-year about 12.
Growing up I was a social drinker at 18 through to about 30. Hardly touch it now.

GoodChat · 11/02/2023 18:47

TheaBrandt · 11/02/2023 12:58

Do you give them weed too - you know like a gentle introduction to drugs?

Half a line of coke on special occasions

Comedycook · 11/02/2023 18:50

Wouldn't in a million years occur to me to give an 11 year old any amount of alcohol. Wtf!

Zanatdy · 11/02/2023 18:51

11/12? Absolutely no way and I’m a very relaxed parent. Even my parents would have said no at that age and they let me drink at family parties (mine don’t and my ds was 17 when he had his first alcoholic drink, DD 15 had a taste and hates it)

JussathoB · 11/02/2023 18:54

What sort of drinks were they having? But anyway I agree 11/12 yrs is too young

WonderingWanda · 11/02/2023 19:05

It's a no from me. I have a 13 y/o he's had a sip of a few drinks, had some alcohol free lager but didn't really like the taste. 2 alcoholic drinks is a lot of alcohol for a child of that age and totally unessesary. I am sure mine will have some alcohol at home before he starts drinking on his own but really I would try and put all of that off for as long as possible.

As teen I was allowed to drink at home and grew up in a town where teen drinking was quite culturally acceptable (90's seaside town). I look back now and am horrified at some of the situations I put myself in and I clearly had no concept of when enough was enough. I do think being too Liberal with alcohol too early can be the wrong thing.

BeautifulDragon · 11/02/2023 19:09

I have no idea why anyone would do this. It's definitely got nothing to do with the wellbeing of the child and all the do with warped adult ideas around drinking.

It's gross behaviour.