Page 5 | To think that MNHQ shouldn't let a thread full of men asking for sex chat PMs stand?

Getir · 2023-02-10T21:38:48+00:00

I know I can hide the sex topic, but that doesn't make the thread go away.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 11/02/2023 21:00

I mentioned the sex chat thread to my mother earlier. I must say I was quite surprised to learn about it. I am no prude, but I find it odd that you could have a woman on the Relationships board asking for support after finding out about a partners online infidelity. Meanwhile, over in the Sex corner, MN are enabling that very thing.

The thing that's always weirded me out about online sex chats is that you could be talking dirty to your cousin, brother or best mates husband. Such is the risk of a bit of anonymous dirty talk...

Sparklingbrook · 11/02/2023 21:58

Vote currently stands at 73%, so a clear majority think it's not on.

everywhichway · 11/02/2023 22:04

Sparklingbrook · 11/02/2023 21:58

Vote currently stands at 73%, so a clear majority think it's not on.

There have been well over a thousand posts on the sexchat thread since it started, from hundreds of posters - male and female. How many MN users voted in the recent survey I wonder??

Original poster

Getir · 11/02/2023 22:29

everywhichway · 11/02/2023 22:04

There have been well over a thousand posts on the sexchat thread since it started, from hundreds of posters - male and female. How many MN users voted in the recent survey I wonder??

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So hundreds of people ,mostly men, who only use MN as a hook up site and for wank fodder? Still it gives MN somewhere to advertise their ridiculous vibrator. Which is probably the only reason they have let the thread carry on.

OP posts:

DuplicateUserName · 11/02/2023 22:40

EmbarrassedatpostingonanAIBU · 11/02/2023 19:54

Unfortunately a number of people from this thread have chosen to go over and tell us how grim we are, which is why I felt the need to comment.

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I noticed that when I had a look over there earlier due to this thread being posted.

I think it was very childish of anyone to do that for what it's worth. If they have a problem with it, they need to take it up with MNHQ, not the posters on that thread.

everywhichway · 11/02/2023 22:41

I don't use MN as a hook up site. And the sexchat thread certainly isn't the only part of MN I'm interested in.

Calling · 11/02/2023 22:43

They're probably all men catfishing each other 😂

Aussiegirl123456 · 11/02/2023 22:56

The worst site I’ve ever been for unwanted sexual attention is LinkedIn. I used to get so many unsolicited messages and pictures.

I assumed mumsnet would be a safe space. I’ve had 3 messages on here since joining asking for ‘chat’. To know there’s a thread, supported by mumsnet too…Sigh.

DuplicateUserName · 11/02/2023 23:12

Aussiegirl123456 · 11/02/2023 22:56

The worst site I’ve ever been for unwanted sexual attention is LinkedIn. I used to get so many unsolicited messages and pictures.

I assumed mumsnet would be a safe space. I’ve had 3 messages on here since joining asking for ‘chat’. To know there’s a thread, supported by mumsnet too…Sigh.

How long ago did you join, and did MNHQ ban those posters?

I think it's really important if they're going to allow threads like that in the Sex topic, that they ban immediately for unsolicited messages of that nature.

I think (and hope there is) a zero tolerance policy should be implemented.

everywhichway · 11/02/2023 23:16

I absolutely agree that unsolicited approaches like that should be reported, so that the perpetrators can be removed from the site as necessary. And there have been examples on the sexchat thread itself of persistent nuisances being shown the door.

Aussiegirl123456 · 12/02/2023 00:26

DuplicateUserName · 11/02/2023 23:12

How long ago did you join, and did MNHQ ban those posters?

I think it's really important if they're going to allow threads like that in the Sex topic, that they ban immediately for unsolicited messages of that nature.

I think (and hope there is) a zero tolerance policy should be implemented.

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About a year ago, so they’re not frequent. But they’re unsolicited still in a place where I wouldn’t even imagine ever receiving any.

Just feels like we can’t have a single safe place anywhere sometimes. I’m just venting. Sorry!

SamanthaCaine · 12/02/2023 00:48

Sparklingbrook · 11/02/2023 21:58

Vote currently stands at 73%, so a clear majority think it's not on.

A majority of a princely 173 posters. 73% is about 126 people. Hardly a relevant number given MN has hundreds of thousands of members.

I've never visited that part of MN and have no interest in it but really, who cares. Let them get on with it.

NewnameforthisAIBU · 12/02/2023 07:00

EmbarrassedatpostingonanAIBU · 11/02/2023 19:01

A few facts about the new improved sexchat thread.

The original thread was started by a woman.
You have no idea about the people behind the usernames or our lives. I am a woman on that thread, and some of the men on it have supported me for months now (in more ways than the obvious)

This is the first time I've commented on anything other than in the sex section. I'm not interested if someone is posting AIBU thinking this M&S valentines meal is rubbish so I don't read it. I find this side of MN quite unpleasant at times. There is always some opinionated and downright nasty person who would want to take you down. This v rarely happens in the sex topics. People can discuss what maybe they aren't able to discuss with their friends face to face without fear of judgement.

If a bunch of random like-minded people are happily and safely enjoying themselves, then can't they just get on with it (whilst ignoring the odd weird message)

If you don't like it, then don't read it
If you don't like it, then certainly don't post on it.
Just like I chose not to comment on a M&S Valentines meal.

Have a good evening all.

Completely agree with this post.

I read and post in any area of MN that has a thread that I am interested in, covering a wide range of topics. The sex board being one of them.

Yes it's not for everyone, and yes the things discussed are obviously not to everyone's taste, but if you dont like it, you can ignore it.

FWIW I have asked MN several times to stop the sex board showing up in active as there are too many people coming in there who obviously have no interest and want to tell us how disgusting we are, when they clearly don't want to see the sex chat trending.

I too have made some great friends off the back of the sex chat thread, male and female, and yes I am happy that they are who they say they are, and the chat had evolved into much more than what you would expect.

I hope MN do hide the sex board again, and will keep asking them to do so, if nothing else but to save those of us who use, from the narrownindedness that this thread has shown exists on MN.

sammylady37 · 12/02/2023 07:59

SamanthaCaine · 12/02/2023 00:48

A majority of a princely 173 posters. 73% is about 126 people. Hardly a relevant number given MN has hundreds of thousands of members.

I've never visited that part of MN and have no interest in it but really, who cares. Let them get on with it.

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Yes, that result is hardly the resounding ‘victory’ the pp seemed to think it was, given the low number of voters.

Sparklingbrook · 12/02/2023 08:06

sammylady37 · 12/02/2023 07:59

Yes, that result is hardly the resounding ‘victory’ the pp seemed to think it was, given the low number of voters.

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That PP would be me. However many people voted the majority see the OP as not being unreasonable in reply to the question they asked. Nothing to do with 'victory'. Unless you poll the whole of MN and it's compulsory to reply you'll never know.

We have to assume that MNHQ are ok with it but people are allowed to have an opinion about it just like anything else in this topic.

PinotPony · 12/02/2023 08:31

It really saddens me that so many people are judging those who choose to post in the Sex forums.

It most certainly isn't all perverted filth. Many posts are from people who genuinely want advice about their sex lives, whether that's a lack in intimacy in a marriage, how to set boundaries with a new partner, or health concerns.

Any posts that appear to be there solely for the purpose of obtaining wank fodder are usually called out pretty quickly. If a post starts with "Tell me about...", the majority of posters will refuse to share their own experiences and will question why the OP wants to know. .

I'll admit that the Sex Chat thread itself has attracted a lot of guys who just want to get off. A fair few seem to be in sexless relationships which I think is quite sad. I too question why they think Mumsnet is the best place to search for that kind of thing. That said, there are many posters who have been utterly charming and friendly so you really can't tar them all with the same brush. I'm also aware that there are many women on there happy to engage in some flirty messaging, myself included.

It's very easy for me to engage with the people who I find appealing and avoid those who seem horrible. But that's true of any thread on any topic. We're all adults and perfectly capable of hiding threads which we don't like. The judgement and pearl clutching from some narrow-minded people on here is totally uncalled for.

sammylady37 · 12/02/2023 10:13

Sparklingbrook · 12/02/2023 08:06

That PP would be me. However many people voted the majority see the OP as not being unreasonable in reply to the question they asked. Nothing to do with 'victory'. Unless you poll the whole of MN and it's compulsory to reply you'll never know.

We have to assume that MNHQ are ok with it but people are allowed to have an opinion about it just like anything else in this topic.

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So you acknowledge that the vote result can’t be taken as representative of the site as a whole, given the relatively tiny number of posters who voted… so why were you posting that ‘a clear majority think it’s not on’, as if it validated your point? 176 people voted. I imagine many more than that are posting on the chat thread and finding it fun and interesting.

HeckyPeck · 12/02/2023 10:41

I think a sex board is fine, but it is fucking weird that the relationships board has loads of devastated women looking for support after finding out their husbands are cheating, but MN allows a thread from married men looking to cheat.

Why would you seek support here if you are cheated on, knowing your husband could be on a other thread seeking people to have affairs with! Even if he isn't, MN is enabling men to cheat on their wives. Not the most supportive or welcoming thing for women.

WinnieFosterReads · 12/02/2023 10:47

Considering abusive men follow their wives on to MN and start threads to undermine them, it's not a reach to think some of the cheating men will do the same. It's only recently that MN has given them the opportunity and you have to wonder why.

everywhichway · 12/02/2023 10:53

WinnieFosterReads · 12/02/2023 10:47

Considering abusive men follow their wives on to MN and start threads to undermine them, it's not a reach to think some of the cheating men will do the same. It's only recently that MN has given them the opportunity and you have to wonder why.

The sexchat thread was started by a woman. And many, many women have enjoyed being on there since.

CinnamonCoffee · 12/02/2023 11:14

I wouldn't call seeing men being desperate to cheat being narrow minded?
If someone wants to be on fab or any kink website then fine but MN is not the place!
And as for there being loads of women on the thread! Hardly. Besides which you can't actually prove every one of them is a women.
That thread is so cringe worthy and desperate that most would judge, it is human nature after all!

CinnamonCoffee · 12/02/2023 11:20

@PinotPony you said a fair few seem to be in sexless marriages. You actually believe that? Even if they are would their wife/partner be ok with them cheating

DiddyHeck · 12/02/2023 11:33

NewnameforthisAIBU · 12/02/2023 07:00

Completely agree with this post.

I read and post in any area of MN that has a thread that I am interested in, covering a wide range of topics. The sex board being one of them.

Yes it's not for everyone, and yes the things discussed are obviously not to everyone's taste, but if you dont like it, you can ignore it.

FWIW I have asked MN several times to stop the sex board showing up in active as there are too many people coming in there who obviously have no interest and want to tell us how disgusting we are, when they clearly don't want to see the sex chat trending.

I too have made some great friends off the back of the sex chat thread, male and female, and yes I am happy that they are who they say they are, and the chat had evolved into much more than what you would expect.

I hope MN do hide the sex board again, and will keep asking them to do so, if nothing else but to save those of us who use, from the narrownindedness that this thread has shown exists on MN.

Show quote history

FWIW I have asked MN several times to stop the sex board showing up in active as there are too many people coming in there who obviously have no interest and want to tell us how disgusting we are, when they clearly don't want to see the sex chat trending.

If MNHQ want to keep the sex topic in trending so that it's not hidden away, I think they need to come down hard on those posters and start banning them.

In the same way one would expect them to ban posters who go on to any topic, just to insult the posters there.

MovingonfromMartin · 12/02/2023 12:09

CinnamonCoffee · 12/02/2023 11:14

I wouldn't call seeing men being desperate to cheat being narrow minded?
If someone wants to be on fab or any kink website then fine but MN is not the place!
And as for there being loads of women on the thread! Hardly. Besides which you can't actually prove every one of them is a women.
That thread is so cringe worthy and desperate that most would judge, it is human nature after all!

You really have no idea @CinnamonCoffee. You have no idea the background to any of these people's lives. I have posted as @EmbarrassedatpostingonanAIBU and I am now using the name I use on the sex boards. I am not embarrassed to say who I am on there, and yet I was embarrassed to be on an AIBU! You don't know me. You have no idea why I am on there, but I can safely say that some of those men have changed my life for the better. Some of them have been single men, btw. I am more confident with the way I look, happier than I've been for years, and thanks to that thread, feel appreciated and adored at times, which is life changing for me. So yes, there may be the odd weirdo ( as there are on all threads), but we as a group of people in the main are generally very respectful, kind, and have each others backs. I would be delighted if MNHQ kept the topic hidden so that people who know nothing about us can leave us alone and stop making sweeping incorrect judgements about us.

CinnamonCoffee · 12/02/2023 12:24

I do have an idea though! Instead of placing all your self worth in that of random men who sext you on MN maybe work on yourself!
These men don't give a shit about you and only about the fact they can get off!

There is never an excuse for cheating! You also have no idea who these men are! It's so very easy to be someone else online and it's all make believe!
It's so very ironic that you are judging me, for me judging a group that should not be on MN! Especially when there are so many spaces for this!

As a women who has been cheated on, and SA many times I don't want to see a bunch of men creeping out on what I thought was a safe space!