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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Only invited to long term partners sisters evening part of wedding

157 replies

Notsuregirl123 · 10/02/2023 19:06

Hi all

Fairly new to mumsnet!

Just for background I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years, we live separately as we are still very young (got together early teens) and we have both been invited to his half sisters wedding, however, I've only been asked to attend the evening part at 7pm

The wedding itself is located 4 hours round trip away from me and I have met and socialised with the bride and groom to be His entire family including his mums younger daughter and his brother who are not realated to the whole wedding (his mum and dad have had DC with new partners)

His other sisters are able to bring their partners despite being unmarried as they have DC together. Seems to me that I'm the only person who has not been included - AIBU?

Also we have never had any bad blood, seemed to get on well but not super close!

Thank you 😊

OP posts:
halloumi1 · 11/02/2023 16:01

One of my DH’s best friends gets married this year. Groom lovely and laid back, bride one of those, everything has to be my way, Insta post my whole life types.
The day a save the date arrived at the house addressed only to DH, it was clarified over WhatsApp that he’s invited to the whole day and me, his wife and mother of his 2 children just to the evening.
It’s rubbish but nothing you can do. I wouldn’t do it but they clearly don’t realise it can be quite offensive. I have no intention of going and would say there’s no point you going either.

Roussette · 11/02/2023 16:06

halloumi1 · 11/02/2023 16:01

One of my DH’s best friends gets married this year. Groom lovely and laid back, bride one of those, everything has to be my way, Insta post my whole life types.
The day a save the date arrived at the house addressed only to DH, it was clarified over WhatsApp that he’s invited to the whole day and me, his wife and mother of his 2 children just to the evening.
It’s rubbish but nothing you can do. I wouldn’t do it but they clearly don’t realise it can be quite offensive. I have no intention of going and would say there’s no point you going either.

But how can your DH go to this, even if it is his best friend?

He should also refuse to go. Or just join you at the evening do, turning down the day. If his wife and the mother of his children are ignored, why would he want to go?

halloumi1 · 11/02/2023 16:15

@Roussette We’ve discussed it and he is thankfully going to do just that.

Roussette · 11/02/2023 16:25

halloumi1 · 11/02/2023 16:15

@Roussette We’ve discussed it and he is thankfully going to do just that.

Oh that's good. My only other post on here talked of my nephew being invited to a wedding (first cousins) and about 250 invited. He had a partner, they were just about to complete on a house together. She wasn't invited to any of it and he was told "no ring no bring".
(They have been happily married for years now!)
I take my hat off to him, he refused to go at all without her. To none of it. Good for him.
And there were so many random people at this wedding some of whom said they had no idea why they'd been invited, they hadn't seen the bridezilla for decades

So glad to hear @halloumi1 you have worked it out amongst yourselves, that's what matters.

RealBecca · 11/02/2023 16:25

They dont take you seriously. I'm not trying to look for fault in your boyfriend but do you think your relationship is drifting and they are picking up on it?

RosaBonheur · 11/02/2023 16:33

I invited my brother's on-again-off-again-not-quite-girlfriend to my wedding despite the fact that I don't actually like her, because I respect the fact that she is important to him, and he deserved to have a plus one at the wedding.

I'm generally in the "it's their wedding, they can do what they want" camp, but I dislike evening invitations generally and think they are only OK at a pinch for local friends you aren't that close to, such as work colleagues. If you know someone lives four hours away invite them to the whole thing or not at all. I certainly wouldn't attend an evening do unless it was very local and low effort for me.

RosaBonheur · 11/02/2023 16:45

Also, I really don't get this "no ring, no bring" rule. For me it's not about how serious their relationship is, but more about wanting my guests to enjoy the wedding.

Going to someone's wedding as a single person can be a bit crap (unless you get lucky, I suppose), if you're sitting on a table surrounded by coupled, or worse still, stuck on a random table of single people where the only thing you have in common is that you're not coupled up. At our wedding we put two or three single people on a table with two couples and made an effort to match them with people whose company we thought they would enjoy. I wouldn’t let being single put me off going to a wedding, but attending one on my own when I actually had a partner would be horrible. Travelling there on my own, hotel room on my own, no one to dance with or eat breakfast with in the morning... In fact, I declined a wedding invitation mainly for this reason. I didn't know any of the other guests and my boyfriend wasn't invited. The bride was pissed off, which annoyed me more than the lack of a plus one.

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