Only invited to long term partners sisters evening part of wedding

[Notsuregirl123]

Hi all

Fairly new to mumsnet!

Just for background I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years, we live separately as we are still very young (got together early teens) and we have both been invited to his half sisters wedding, however, I've only been asked to attend the evening part at 7pm

The wedding itself is located 4 hours round trip away from me and I have met and socialised with the bride and groom to be His entire family including his mums younger daughter and his brother who are not realated to the whole wedding (his mum and dad have had DC with new partners)

His other sisters are able to bring their partners despite being unmarried as they have DC together. Seems to me that I'm the only person who has not been included - AIBU?

Also we have never had any bad blood, seemed to get on well but not super close!

Thank you 😊

Have you asked op, about why ?

I’m sorry if this sounds cruel but maybe she doesn’t want you in photos if she doesn’t think you’ll stay together, as you got together so young.

I think this is pathetic, of course you should be there!

A niece of mine got married, huge wedding, didn't invite one of her cousins partner on a 'no ring no bring' basis. They were in the process of buying a house together and have since been happily married for years now! There were people there who had no idea why they were invited, hadn't seen the bride for decades, but they were very distant cousins. I think there were about 250 at the wedding.

Luckily my nephew said... if my 'partner' is not invited, I'm not going either and he made his excuses.

I'm sorry you have been excluded like this. It's a shit thing to do.

Oh for heavens sake. You're young, don't live together and have no children together. Go to the evening do. It's a perfectly fine invite.

Did you read the part that it's a 4 hour round trip?

Nope I didn't miss it. So get a hotel for the evening? She's invited for the evening part so it would make sense.

I find this really discourteous. It’s as if they’ve decided you’re a casual girlfriend.

Their choice to do evening invites only, but it's your choice whether you want to go or not. Me personally - I wouldn't, but I'd be polite about turning it down. "oh yes Sandra totally understand, but I just won't be able to make traveling at that time work. So sorry! I hope you have a lovely day!"

Are there practicalities attached to the sisters' partners attending? Like are the sisters or kids in the wedding party and partners are needed to watch the children?

I wouldn't go to an immediate never-speak-to-her-again level but I'd make note of the snub for future reference.

I get your point but I vomiting someone to the full wedding doesn't mean they'd be in the photos.

OP I wouldn't go if I were in your position. It's really rude. You've been together for 7 years.
I invited my brothers girlfriend of less than a year to my wedding, they broke up soon after. No big deal at all.
I'm Irish though and honestly here even if you are single you'd get a plus one on a wedding invitation.
I went to my SIL's wedding 3 months ago free first meeting Dh. As soon as she heard he'd met someone she asked if he'd like to bring me. They are behaving very rudely towards you.

I vomiting obviously should have said inviting. Stupid phone!

3 months after first meeting DH. 13 years ago!

I think if you complain you will just cause problems for your boyfriends relationship with his family, and damage your relationship with them also. Suck it up, be the bigger person and go to the evening do with a smile on your face.

Yes fair point.

I always think the excuse that they might not want you in the photos in case you don't stay together is a bit lame, especially when it's a long term relationship.
I have a huge extended family and there have been so many divorces over the years that almost all the group photos have people that are no longer part of the family in them!

How old are you op?

Exactly.

I'd politely decline, it doesn't work logistically. What are you going to do, sit outside in the car by yourself for 6 hours then pop in for a drink and the disco at the end ?

DH turned down an invitation to his cousin's wedding because I, his girlfriend of two years, wasn't invited (to any of it). A year later we married and will celebrate our silver anniversary in August. Your partner should be supporting you over this imo.

Please don’t make a 4 hour round trip to be an evening guest.

Politely decline.

What your brother is doing should have absolutely nothing to do with it

In your shoes I’d just accept it is what it is, then decide if I felt the round trip was worth the effort for an evening do. It probably is a sign that they don’t view your relationships as serious or they just don’t feel that close to you.

you DP can choose to do what he wants. Maybe if he is open and approaches his sister she’ll not have realised it was na issue. But would you want to be invited now anyway?

I was actually going to consider going until I told my best friends and they have said its plain rude.

The wedding is based in a rural part of Scotland so there won't be much for me to do other than twiddle my thumbs in a hotel room until the reception.

I think I may politely decline, as its not practical and seems a lot of bother! My boyfriend has said he will not go but I don't want him missing such an important day in his sisters life, he may regret it.

I'm normally quite relaxed about wedding invite etiquette but surely "plus ones" should get the same invite as the person they're accompanying?

If you are still only young and aren't living together, I wouldn't consider you a permanent fixture. My sister is wedding venue shopping at the mo, one she is contemplating is £130 a head, I wouldn't be inviting 20 year old girlfriends who probably won't be around in 3 months time. It'd be very different if you were living together and settled together but it sounds like you are still teen gf and bf. Will you even still be together by the time the wedding comes around?

I'm 23 😀