To be surprised my health visitor asked this

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DD2 has just had her 6 month check. The health visitor went through a list of questions, mostly stuff I'd expect, but one was whether I was up to date on my smear test. I was surprised as I thought these appointments were about DD rather than me.

Apart from anything else, isn't it a bit sexist to assume they're going to see the mum rather than the dad? DH took DD1 to her 15 month check as he was her primary carer (I was the main earner) at that point. Bet he didn't get asked whether he'd had a prostrate exam recently.

I’d hope they’d be astute enough not to ask the father that if it was him conducting the review on his child’s behalf. They’re not robots.

The health visitor’s remit covers you as well. I’m not sure why you think that question means they’ve assumed they’re seeing the mother instead of the father - they obviously just wouldn’t ask a father about a smear.

But men don't need regular prostrate exams until they reach a certain age. Why would you be upset that a HV was interested in your well-being as well as your child's? What a bizarre thing to take offence about..

Well I don't think that the average man is supposed to go to the doctor to get his prostate checked every 3 years. I suspect that it is just a question they ask the mother if she is there because it is easy to be one of the women who gets a letter for her 3 yearly smear, doesn't book an appt as can't have it pregnant and then misses a smear for ages - in that sense, it is a pregnancy/childbearing related thing that might get missed

Men don't get regular prostate exams do they? Besides which all my HVs have been interested in my health as well as my child's.

I thought men's prostate screening started in general over 50? So it wouldn't be a regular question as most parents/carers at the check would be younger.

Men do not routinely get asked prostate questions until they are 50+.

Quite a weird thing to be bothered by. I was grateful they'd reminded me, between miscarriages and pregnancy and new baby, it had completely fallen off the radar. Sure I'm not alone.

My husband was with me. His prostate went uncommented upon.

This. You’re looking for an issue where there isn’t one.

Well, it was on her list of questions, a printed sheet she went through. So whoever wrote the sheet clearly assumed she'd see the child's mother. Although presumably they wouldn't actually ask it of a father.

Totally normal to ask.

My male partner has done loads of my daughters appointments over the years. Wasn’t asked about smear test once.

I believe they have probably added in that question as an additional “catch” to prevent people missing their smears - I know that I was due a smear when pregnant, they sent me a letter saying I’d get no further reminders. You also can’t have a smear for at least 6 weeks postpartum.

Do you think they need to type 'ONLY ASK IF WOMAN' next to the question? Or do you think they're ok to just use common sense?

I was asked this at DD's 27 month check along with a couple of other questions in general about me and my partner's health. I assumed that the smear test one was just a sort of additional reminder, maybe to see if there is anyone who doesn't go and whether the HV could help them attend if they wanted to.

How do you feel about the PND screenings?

Apart from anything else, isn't it a bit sexist to assume they're going to see the mum rather than the dad?

Oh come on OP, sexist? Really? Men don’t have regular prostate exams, women are advised to have smear tests. Plenty of women by chance get sent smear reminders when pregnant and so put them off for obvious reasons, the health visitor asking this question is a helpful reminder for these women. I’m sure the health visitor can manage not to ask a man if they have had a smear test, they’d obviously just skip that question. Also the majority of time at the 6 month check the mum will be present due to being on maternity leave, that’s not sexist it’s just common sense.

Hi there <waves>

I did think HVs enquired about parental wellbeing but I wouldn't have thought it involved asking questions like that. I do know a couple of people who ditched the HV as it was a nuisance.

but also, at Pickle's six month check, I thought it was about her too.

I expect the mother being behind on her health care is a risk factor for caring for the baby. Similar to when you're asked about when you had a flu jab / covid jab / baby's last weighed
/ vaccinations. They want to know to what extent you're engaging with the system and following public health expectations.

Surely it's just because if it was due while you were pregnant you'd now be overdue to have it, and several months later could quite easily have forgotten about it? I did - ended up having it about 3 years late.

Are you due a smear test? I was due one when pregnant and midwife said she’d make a note of it so I’d get an appointment offered post- partum. This never arrived so had to follow up with Gp surgery myself.

Apparently lots of mothers fall through the cracks so I’m sure she was trying to be helpful.

You've answered your own question. If the HV saw the father, she/he would just leave the question off what he/she was asking. Not difficult, is it???

I deal with term assurance applications regularly.

Some questions say for females only, it's not a difficult concept that men and women have different medical needs.

You are being totally ridiculous, just looking to be offended.

In reality though they do overwhelmingly see the child's mother. Weather this should be so and why it is so are different conversations, but they are working with reality right now.

Oh I'm sure they'll be asking 'men' soon enough.

You don't think that it is more likely that the hv will see the child's mother? Not always of course, but it is more likely. It is a prompt, they will not ask if it is not suitable. What is wrong with that?